


Messily Tangled

by NotObsess_Lie



Category: One Direction (Band), Zarry - Fandom, Zerrie - Fandom
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fanfiction, M/M, One Direction Fanfic, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 16:05:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 62,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotObsess_Lie/pseuds/NotObsess_Lie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn is cheating on Perrie with an ordinary girl named, Kerra. He could not fathom who weighs more in his heart and things even gets more complicated when Zayn starts to fall for Harry as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So I already posted this on a different site but I wanna have multiple copies of this in case something happens. So the plot is messy as its title and I don't know how to end it. Hope you love this as mush as I do because so far I'm satisfied with what I wrote. Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah?
> 
> P.S.
> 
> This whole Zayn cheating thing was written before the bloody rumor went out. This is basically fiction so none of this is true. And want to clarify that I have nothing against Ms. Taylor Swift. Just so you guys know. 
> 
> Massive thank you for the time! xoxo

  Zayn felt the warm lips, which were on his own before, now kissing his jaw line. She was a little bit rough tonight, the Bradford boy noticed when her lips moved lower on his neck. She was half kissing and half biting him. But she made sure there were no marks left on his soft skin. A low moan escaped his throat when she started nibbling on his skin just behind his earlobe.  He rested his head on her shoulder while her hands were busily tousling and tugging his hair.

  
          She started moving lower again. Giving him pepper kisses as she moved her lips toward his collar bone. He hissed when she bit a little harder on him just under his collar bone. It would definitely leave a mark and they both knew that. Zayn was amused at how aggressive she is tonight. She was careful on where she placed the mark though for it might be seen and they both don’t want that. This meant that he’ll try to stay away from V-neck shirts for a while with her mark still visible.

  
          Satisfied with her work she decided to move downward to kiss Zayn’s chiseled stomach. She knelt lower so she could get a better position, thus removing her hands from his hair and positioning them on his chest feeling his sensitive nipples under her palms causing the Bradford boy to moan again. Her kisses were getting lower and lower down his body and his enjoying every single one of it. Just the feeling of her warm soft lips on his skin gives him pleasure.

  
          Reaching the V line on his waist the brunette stopped and looked up to the tan boy. She was asking for permission. Polite as always, Zayn thought. But there are times she doesn’t ask and just go with it. And he really likes it that she can catch his mood immediately. She just reads him like an open book. Unfortunately, he cannot say the same towards her. She was such a mystery to him and he doesn’t mind sticking around and uncover all her secrets.

  
          Zayn nodded at her as he opened his eyes, locking gazes with her. He didn’t even notice that he had his eyes closed. Maybe because all he wanted to do at the moment was feel her. Feel her hands and lips on his body. Feel her warm skin on his own burning skin.

  
          This time he watched and helped her slid down the band of his boxers revealing his hard erection. He was already hard before he went to her place. And she noticed immediately what he came there for and kissed him passionately. She pushed him on her bed making him sit on the edge of the mattress. She smirked at him when she saw his surprise expression. She then knelt on the floor and continued kissing him as he expertly took off his shirt breaking their kiss for only a short second. She helped him take off his shoes and pants but she didn’t remove her T-shirt the only clothes she was wearing at the moment.

  
          She looked up at him again and he nodded weakly as he felt his dick twitch. He’s so turned on at the moment, just watching her midnight black irises that seem to be boring into his soul. She smiled and blushed little as she saw the impatience in his hazel eyes that stared back at her. He could never help but be amused by how she still blush, after how many times they had done this.

  
          Taking his full erection in her hands, Zayn gasped with pleasure. His head was drawn back and his eyes tightly closed. God, it felt so good to be touched by her, his brain screamed at him. Wiping the precum on the head of his dick with her own tongue she began taking his full length on her mouth. Zayn bites his bottom lip at the contact. She was sucking him like her life depends on it. She was already an expert to this. But of course they both had tons of practice just to please each other perfectly.

  
          She gagged a little as Zayn’s dick move further down her throat. She was deep-throating him and she’s used to it now. The first time she did it, it almost made her cry. His size is just big but she had managed. She continued sucking and swallowing him as the boy moans louder and louder. His hips were moving with her mouth as she bobbed her head up and down his cock. Her hand was placed on his cock touching the area where her mouth can’t reach and her other hand was holding unto his bare thigh keeping him on the bed.

  
          The pleasure Zayn felt as the girl blowjob him was unlike any other. He was aware that his hands that were supporting him to be upright on the bed were getting weaker and weaker. It seems that he couldn’t feel them anymore. He tried using his elbows for support on the bed instead. He watched as her cheeks hollow as she sucked him and it was so hot it added to ecstasy that’s enveloping him at the moment.

  
          “F-f-fuck,” he muttered incoherently with pleasure. He knew he was almost to his climax because he barely managed to open his eyes, feeling high with pleasure. He can sense the cold sweats that’s dripping down his forehead and still that doesn’t cool him off. Nor could it chill the hot atmosphere in the room.

  
 It wasn’t long before he come into her mouth and she swallowed the white seeds that came out of him. She wipes the spill on the side of her lips with the back of her hand and smiled.

  
          “Wanna taste yourself?” she asked blushing again.

  
        Zayn pulled her up from the floor weakly and seated her on his lap. He kissed her hard and tasted himself. They kissed till their lungs begged for air and they lay unto the bed as their breathing slowly even out. Zayn rolled to his side and watched the girl beside him. She was beautiful but not the type that will catch your eye the first time you saw her.

  
        When did he first see her again? Yes, he remembered now. It was more than a year ago on an old bookstore in London. He was looking out for books that may interest him. And she was also their. Cliché actually, because they accidentally bumped into each other. She was wearing a floral dress just a little bit above the knee, a black Converse, and square nerdy glasses.

  
        _“I’m so sorry,” he apologized. He didn’t know whose fault it was but he sure didn’t care. What captivated him the most were her appealing black irises that held so many secrets._

  
        _“It’s okay,” she replied and smiled at him. He had to smile back of course. He put every ounce of charm into his smile that would put Harry’s dimples into shame. But she seemed unaffected because she still managed to stare back at him, only with a little blush on her tan cheek. Other girls would have been dazed but she remained grounded._

  
        _“Would you like to join me over a cup of tea?” Zayn asked. He wasn’t really good at flirting because he’s such a big homebody and reserved. He didn’t even know why he just asked this girl out. She was lovely, but is that enough to ask her out?_  
 _She chuckled and shook her head slowly. “As long as you promise not to fall in love with me,” she said._

  
        _Zayn didn’t know if she was joking or she really meant it, but it seems like the latter, only that it sounded like a joke. He chuckled with her instead because he doesn’t know how to reply to that one. He doesn’t know if he should take it seriously or not. He doesn’t want to look stupid. “I’ll try,” he replied, finding the right riposte and beamed her that charming smile again._

  
        _She smiled, amused at the situation and the Bradford boy was once again taken aback by how she’s still in control of her emotion. She’s very good at composing herself, Zayn noted._

  
        _“Should that assure me?” she asked raising one of her eyebrow. She didn’t look mean like she’s trying to be. She looked cute._  
        _“Why don’t you go and find out,” he challenged and winked at her. He smiled at himself on how natural it felt to be flirting. He hasn’t had much practiced but he was doing well. And he’s proud of himself._

  
        _She was definitely amused but Zayn can’t really tell. She was just staring at him and maybe trying to figure out where the conversation is heading, Zayn can’t still tell. She was hard to crack. She was very intriguing though. “What’s your name?” he asked noticing that things were getting into the awkward zone. “I’m Zayn.”_

  
        _Instead of answering him she kept staring at him like he hadn’t spoken at all. Has Zayn misunderstood everything? Has he been rejected without him knowing at all? She doesn’t say anything and that’s a bad sign. Do this flirting and stuff comes with a handbook because he’s sure getting one._

  
        _“Kerra,” she replied._

  
        They were already laying on the bed with Zayn fully naked and Kerra only on T-Shirt. They weren’t talking. They just lie silently and listen to their even breathing and pounding hearts. Zayn wasn’t in the mood for talk either and he’s thankful again that the brunette beside him can sense that.

  
        He snuggled closely to the warm body beside him not feeling embarrass for being too bare. He just doesn’t want to feel alone right now. There’s this need in him and he doesn’t know what to do with it. How to handle it. Maybe the small body next to him can fix that. She started playing with his messy hair and he closed his eyes at the comforting sensation that runs through his body. His body relaxed because he felt safe. Safe in the arms of someone he barely knew but knew him better than he knows himself.

  
        His phone ringing at the bedside table startled them both. Reluctant to move from such a peaceful state he cuddled even more closely to her attempting to keep out the noise coming from the evil little thing. He wasn’t much fond of gadgets, only for music and game purposes. Communication wasn’t really his best interest.

  
        “Pick it up,” Kerra said in a very soothing voice. Sensing Zayn’s stubbornness and disinterest on answering the phone she added, “It could be important.” And kissed the top of his head.

  
        Zayn half-heartedly moved away from the comforting body beside him to reach for his phone. His eyes widen when he saw who’s calling and answered it immediately.

  
        “Hey,” he said on the other person at the end of the line. He got up and seated himself at the side of the bed covering his lower body with the duvet. He finally felt his nakedness. Well, he was indeed naked but he wasn’t conscious before. Only now that he’s talking on the phone with Perrie.

  
        “Hello,” said the blonde girl on the other line lovingly. “Are you coming for dinner tonight?” she asked but there was sadness or was it pain in her voice that Zayn caught. Maybe he was imagining things again.

  
        “Yeah babe,” he replied happily to assure her that he’s really coming. “I’m really looking forward to what you’ll serve at dinner. And to be honest I’m famished already.” He smiled even though he knew that the other girl on the other end could not see it.

  
        “I’m making chicken broth,” she informed but she didn’t sound as enthusiastic as she should be. Zayn wondered why she’s feeling low. “Where are you now?”

  
        “At a friend’s house,” he replied and stared back at the immobile Kerra on the bed behind him. He wasn’t sure if she was listening to them or has fallen asleep because she had closed her eyes.

  
        “Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you later.” What Zayn loved about Perrie is that she doesn’t hover over him unlike other girlfriends who would nag at you. She trusted him. Yet here he was lying on her face. Throwing away the trust she had given him. He had become a monster.

  
        Zayn loves Perrie. She’s funny, pretty, smart, kind, and talented. She’s every boy’s dream girl. And what made him even luckier is that she’s madly in love with him. But he knows he could never love her like she loves him. It’s awful but it’s the truth. He knew he had to let her go but he’s selfish enough to keep both girls at the same time. He can’t let one of them go. Yes, he has indeed become a selfish monster.

  
        This situation had worsened because he knows sooner or later he’s going to have to choose. And it wasn’t helping that he has feelings for Perrie. That he cares for the lovely blonde as well. That he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore but he has no choice because he doesn’t want to suffer all alone. If they truly love him they wouldn’t mind suffering with him right?

  
        Deep inside Zayn knew all his reasons were still wrong. But he can’t help himself. And he’s greatest excuse is that he’s just human. Humans are selfish by nature. They think of themselves before the people around them. But even that isn’t good enough to ease the enormous guilt he has been feeling ever since he realized he was evil.

  
        “Bye babe,” says Perrie. “I love you…so much.”

  
        “I love you too babe,” he replied and hung up. He tossed his phone back to the bedside table and fell back down into bed. He felt sick just thinking what an asshole he is, not only to Perrie but also to Kerra and probably to every girl on the planet. What has he done?

  
        “You have to go,” says Kerra breaking the silence and just the sound of her voice comforted Zayn. He knew he wasn’t alone. Kerra will always be there for him. She said she would be. But does it mean she loves him? He wasn’t sure of the answer but he was consoled though. If she cares then that’s enough.

  
        “I know,” he replied and rose up. He gathered his clothes at the floor and put them on. She just continued lying there not even bothering to open her eyes. What is she thinking? Zayn wondered like he always does about her. Instead of hurrying up he sat beside her body on bed and looked at her calm state.

  
        “She’s waiting,” Kerra persuaded opening her eyes and staring back into Zayn’s lovely hazel eyes. As always she was composed, not giving away anything. She smiled. “I’ll see you soon.”  
 


	2. Chapter Twp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

As Zayn walked out her door, Kerra felt lonely. He wasn’t hers to keep in the first place since she couldn’t give him everything he wanted. First of all, she couldn’t give him the relationship he needs. She can never go out with him publicly because she wouldn’t be able to handle the limelight. Yes, it’s intriguing and beautiful but it can turn into your worst nightmare. And she doesn’t want to hate Zayn if the fame ruined her like it did to most of the people in it. Only few had managed to handle it and she doubts that she can.

  
          She just wasn’t the type who was made for fame. If possible she wants to hide from the rest of the world, one reason why she became a photographer. She’s more comfortable behind her camera lens, away from anyone’s view. She likes it better when she’s the observer rather than the entertainer. Well, if everyone else is cast on the play who would be left to watch, right?

  
          Second reason why she doesn’t have a rightful claim on the beautiful Bradford bad boy is that she’s not good enough for him. He’s just so perfect and she’s not. She’s not the proper girl for him. He deserves someone better maybe someone like Perrie who’s popular and beautiful.

  
          And lastly she couldn’t give herself fully to Zayn, in sex. It sounds silly and stupid but she just can’t give up her virginity to the boy no matter how much she cares for him. She vowed she’s only giving it to her future husband, if she ever gets one. She and Zayn never had sex before, other than tons of blowjobs and oral if that counts as sex. She was glad the boy respected it but of course she knew it wasn’t enough.

  
          She’s already breaking a lot of rules her parents had given her when she decided to live all alone in the city of London. But who can blame her, she’s a teenager. It’s part of growing up. It’s how everybody learns. If you don’t break some of the rules you’re never going to find out. Sometimes being bad is good. She can’t dismiss the thought that her Mom had given her before she moved out: “Once you lost it, you can never get it back.” And she knew what she meant. That’s why she never attempted sex.

  
          Sometimes she knew she couldn’t hold it with all her hormones screaming at her to just do it. To satisfy herself with the thrill of fucking. Her friends had done it and often teased her for being a virgin. One time she was so full of it all, like they all treat the subject like a matter of life and death. So she told them harshly that anytime she wants she could become like them, but they could never become like her no matter how much they wanted. It was an epic fail actually because they just laughed at her since she doesn’t know how to get angry properly. But she knew her friends got the message because they don’t tease and push her anymore when it comes to _that_ subject.

  
          Well, she wasn’t that innocent either anymore but at least she can pretend that she is. Somehow knowing that she’s still a virgin is her only comfort that she hasn’t changed completely. That she can still be that naïve little girl that her family knew and loved. If her parents only knew what has become of her they would be hurt. They’ll think how horrible they were because they weren’t able to raise her right. They would surely blame themselves. And to be honest, they have nothing to do with what has become of her. They already did their part and it was already up to her to do something with the opportunity her parents had given her.

  
          She might not be the best daughter in the world but she’s trying very hard. But it seems her best still isn’t enough to ease the insecurities. And she has to hold on unto what little is left of her innocence just to clear her guilt even by a tiny bit. It’s harder to keep it now that her body craves nothing more but to be touched by Zayn. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to break up with him. And they’re not even in a relationship. She doesn’t even have a single clue what they really are. Is this what they call “Friends With Benefits”?

  
          Whatever she and Zayn is she doesn’t care. She’ll be there as long as he needs her. Is it love? She doesn’t know either since she never dated anyone before Zayn. Her social life is as dry as Sahara desert in midday time. No wonder her parents trusted her to live all alone in the big city but that changed now. She’s not that pure anymore and the thought scared her.

  
         Change is terrifying but it’s constant and inevitable. Nothing could be done anymore so she decided to embrace it instead. She’s just praying she made the right choice. Regrets aren’t delightful as well.

  
        No matter how much it hurts to know that she’ll never be the person that Zayn would call later on just to say ‘Good night’. She would endure it if it means she gets to have these short moments with him. Moments that starts as a bliss and ends too soon for her liking. Yet she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

 

  
**

  
          Zayn was outside of Perrie and Jade’s flat. The girls’ apartment was a walking distance from his own abode that he usually came by. Jade’s always out on parties and Perrie’s not the type who loves to get wasted. The blonde prefers quiet time at home like Zayn, one of the reasons why the tan boy likes her. She wasn’t the girl who wants to go out and spend the money of her boyfriend. She’s the type who would spend the rest of the day watching a movie and cuddling with him.

  
          Using his spare key which Perrie had given him, he opened the door. He heard someone from the kitchen. The sounds of utensils echoed throughout the quiet flat and the smell of delicious food hangs in the air. It was warm inside the house contradicting the cold outside. It’s normal since December is only two weeks away.

  
          He locked the door behind him and removed his coat. He hung it behind the door and suddenly it was very quiet.

  
          “Zayn?” Perrie called from the kitchen. “Is that you?” She sounded suspicious. She’s been watching too much crime stories and Zayn has to smile a little at that realization. If he doesn’t answer immediately she might freak out and throw a knife at him when she sees his shadows coming towards the kitchen. And who knows what else she might do since she’s already equipped herself to such situation, if it really happens. Perrie and her crazy What-To-Do-When-Someone-Attack-You 101 could be such an entertainment sometimes. That makes her more normal which is kind of weird.

  
          “Yeah,” he answered and headed to the kitchen. He heard her continue her cooking or whatever she was doing before she noticed his presence. She was chopping something and her back was on him. The aroma inside the small kitchen was even thick and he can’t help but drool. Firstly because Perrie looked hot on mini shorts and sleeveless white chiffon blouse. Those white milky skin that burns under his touch and is so soft to hold and caress, which drives him mad at times. Secondly the fragrance of the food she was cooking was indeed mouth watering. But he decided that Perrie herself was enough to make him drool like a dog.

  
          He hugged her from behind making her jump a little at his cold skin against her warm temperature due to staying near the stove. He kissed her cheek and pulled her closer to his body. She was soft and smelled like strawberries as always. The kitchen’s odor did not affect her floral scent at all.

  
          “Hello,” he murmured against her shoulder before kissing it and he felt her shudder. He smiled to himself because he knew he still have the same effects on her like the first time they met.

  
        _It was on at a company celebration party. Perrie was sitting all alone near the mini bar. Zayn noticed her when he got back inside after finishing his fag. She was quietly staring at the people on the dance floor. She looked a little lost and he felt pity for her. He somehow saw himself. How he must have looked when they first started attending parties like this one. It must be her first time. He didn’t know where the thoughts came from but he wanted her to enjoy._

  
        _Having a few alcohols in your system is a good thing sometimes. It gives you courage you never knew you had. Zayn was feeling like that right now. He was brave enough to ask her to dance and she hesitantly agreed. He took her hand with his and she shuddered at how cold his hand was. The temperature outside had made his hands cold and she was warm._

  
        _Zayn knew he was never the best dancer in the group. He was never a good dancer. Period. But Perrie helped him sway his luscious hips on the dance floor. Good thing it was a slow dance but he managed to humiliate himself somehow. He had stepped on the girl’s foot a few times and apologized, even though he knew the damage is done. She was kind to just smile at him and accept his apology. But deep inside, he wonders if she regretted leaving her chair and dancing with him._

  
        _“I’m Zayn by the way,” he distracted trying to cover for his lack of dancing skills. “What’s your name?” he asked sending her a gorgeous smile._

  
        _“Perrie,” she answered with a small smile. She was lovely, he thought. Blue irises like the clear waters of the ocean, blonde wavy hair, pretty face, and perfect body curves. Any man would be proud to have someone like her I their arms. He stared at her for a while and she licked her lips with her tongue. That’s when he noticed how sexy her lips are. He imagined how it would feel against his own._

  
        _He looked away immediately realizing that he might be looking weirdly at her lips and she might get the wrong idea. Well, he was indeed thinking of something bad. Is kissing someone immoral now? He asked himself. And he already knew the answer. It is when he’s already seeing Kerra. But what’s his relationship with the raven haired girl anyway? Are they really dating? Or are they just going out as friend? She didn’t say anything and he doesn’t want confirmation, afraid it might lead to rejection._

  
        _Zayn decided it was better to leave his relationship with Kerra how it is now. It’s not fixed nor is it broken. Might as well leave it at that, than try to figure it out and screw it up. It’s only been just three months since they started going out ─ but not officially. Maybe they’re still on that Getting-To-Know-You Stage._

  
        _“When’s the tour?” Perried asked cutting Zayn’s train of thoughts. He blushed a little bit because she was kind to him and he wasn’t paying attention to her. He easily gets distracted when Kerra moves into his stream of consciousness._

  
        _“Excuse me?” he asked, abashed at how he’s treating such a nice girl like Perrie. And then he remembered how he wanted to kiss her a while ago that made his cheeks burn even more. Good thing there’s not enough light inside the club, where the party was held, for the girl to know how embarrass he is right now._

  
        _“You’re that guy from One Direction right?” she supplied. She didn’t have a clue that Zayn was spacing out._

  
        _Zayn just nodded his head, not sure what’s the connection of her question and her recent statement. She smiled at him and again he wasn’t sure what the smile was for but he smiled back anyway. Her smile was infectious. Damn! Those lips of hers are really kissable._

  
_“You guys are going on tour by January next year right?” she asked even though she already knew the answer. Zayn nodded still confused. Their tour is only more than two months away by now, he calculated. “I’m a fan of you guys,” she announced proudly that made her beautiful eyes twinkle in the dark. “I and my mates are actually fan of One Direction. We’re from The X Factor too and we’re sort of hoping to be the girl version of you guys.” Zayn raised an eyebrow at her in disbelief. She has completely lost him._

  
        _“I’m in a girl group called Little Mix,” she explained. “We’re wishing we could become like you and your mates but it’s a long run. But it would be really awesome if it happens.” She smiled again but this time she was remembering something memorable. “You guys are truly such an inspiration to many artists all over the world. You made us all believe that when you’re dreams turned to dust you vacuum.” She laughed at her own silly metaphor and Zayn laughed with her._

  
        _“Thank you,” she said seriously staring intently into Zayn’s hazel eyes. “For not giving up on your dreams and inspiring us all.” And right at that moment Zayn couldn’t help but lean down and kiss her. She didn’t push him away and it was a good sign._

  
        “How was your day?” Perrie asked and just like the first time they met, she pulled Zayn back from the past.

  
        “Fine,” he answered resting his chin on her shoulder. “How was yours?” he asked curiously remembering that something is wrong because she didn’t sound so good when she called him a few hours ago.

  
        “Fine,” she answered but the sadness was there. Zayn heard it and he was sure something was up. He made her face him and she diverted her gaze. It pained him to see her like this. She was sad and he promised to himself that he will do everything in his power to make her happy again.

  
        “What’s wrong?” he asked softly, afraid that the loudness of his voice might break her. She looked so fragile right now and it’s heart breaking. He doesn’t know what’s making her unhappy and he’s not stopping till he does. He’s going to end it if possible. He cupped her face with both of his hands and stare into her ocean blue eyes. They have lost their sparkle at the moment.

  
        Perrie opened her mouth to say something but Zayn’s phone suddenly rang. He cursed silently at how bad the timing is. He saw her sigh and he knew she was disappointed. He took the phone out from his pocket while his free hand held unto Perrie’s own hand.

  
        “What is it Styles?” he asked acidly as he answered the call. He doesn’t know who to blame at the moment. He should have turned his phone off. Harry shouldn’t have called. Or the phone should have thrown itself at the nearest cliff. 

  
        “Hello to you too Malik,” Harry said sarcastically. Zayn couldn’t help but smile at how well Harry handles everything. The fame, the fans, and the hate. Harry must have been born for this.

  
        “Is this an emergency?” Zayn asked. “It better be a matter of life and death and not just about how Caroline hasn’t called you yet.” He heard the boy at the other end groaned with discomfort. He chuckled quietly at the younger lad. The issue with Caroline has long been gone but Zayn still uses it up to this day just to piss curly boy.

  
        “We have an emergency meeting,” Harry replied bluntly trying to sound unaffected. Zayn can see his discomfort and cannot help but smile. He loves it when the younger boy is a mess and uneasy, he looks hot. Whoa! Did he just think that Harry was hot? He shook his head. Hoping that would cure his dysfunctional brain. “I’ll pick you up in ten minutes. Where are you?”

  
        “At Perrie’s,” Zayn answered hesitantly. The thought of Harry being hot hasn’t left him yet. He doesn’t know why he’s just cool with that. It’s normal to think that your best friend is cool right? There’s nothing wrong with that. He tried to convince himself.

  
        “I’ll see you then,” Harry said and hung up. Was Zayn just imagining it or did he hear disappointment in Harry’s voice? What’s wrong with his brain today anyway? He’s having tons of freaky hallucinations. He shoved the phone back to his pocket and turned to Perrie who was still waiting for him.

  
        “Babe, you have to tell me what’s wrong,” he said and it sounded more like a plea. He knew she could never resist his requests. He always finds ways to get what he wants. “I want to help. Please let me help you.” He kissed her till they are almost out of breathe and connected their foreheads so she can’t escape him anymore. “Tell me what’s bothering you.” He voice was dripping with sadness and concern and so are his alluring eyes.

  
        For a while she looked down on their feet. Finding the floor very attractive. Zayn wondered how bad the situation is because she doesn’t act like this. Ever. She often tells him right away what was wrong. She wasn’t this hard to decode. But this time was different. She finally looked up to meet his gaze. The twinkles in her eyes were still missing but at least Zayn can see the blue orbs and was comforted.

  
        “Are you cheating on me?” Perrie asked.  
        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

     “Where are you going Harry?” Louis asked the younger boy. Harry was heading for the door with his jacket in his hands. He’s definitely not just going out of the room to grab some coffee. “The meeting is about to start,” Louis reminded and he sounded like Liam. Harry can’t help but smile when he noticed the fatherly tone on Louis’ voice.

  
          “I’m going to get Zayn,” Harry answered. Niall and Liam went to get some food from their small kitchen on the studio because the Irish lad was hungry. Louis got in from his date with Eleanor that day and was exhausted that he quietly played with his phone instead of annoying the curly boy. Harry had been sitting for quite long now inside the conference room since he was the first one to show up. He wasn’t punctual but he just haven’t been doing anything so when the management texted him about the meeting he went immediately.

  
          Liam arrived next after Harry. The Wolverhampton lad was surprised to see that he wasn’t the first one to get to the meeting. It would have thrilled the Chesire lad to be able to talk to someone but Niall came along and begged Liam to accompany him to get some food. The sandy haired boy being as kind as always gladly went with the Irish lad. And that leaves Harry all alone again until Louis came and asked where everyone was.

  
          Now Harry’s going to pick Zayn up because it seems the Bradford boy had not receive the text message the management had sent. If he did, he would have texted that he’s going to be late so his mates will not worry about him. And the curly lad was indeed right about his theory. Zayn was totally oblivious to the emergency meeting that they will be having.

  
          “Don’t take too long,” Louis called teasingly as Harry walked out the door. It was more a warning actually and the younger lad didn’t quite get it. Or maybe he did, it’s just that he doesn’t want to be right. Surely Louis doesn’t mean anything. Harry tried to convince himself but there is just something in the older boy’s voice that screams he knows what’s going on with Harry. “And drive carefully.”

  
          There it was again. Another simple remark that shouldn’t mean a thing but it sounded like it does. Was Harry being paranoid from being bored the whole day? He reminded himself never to be bored again. Somehow it has a very weird effect on him and he doesn’t like it. It makes him mad.

  
          The drive to Perrie’s flat seemed long and Harry was beginning to become impatient. Why does Zayn have to be there? Why did he chose a flat close to Perrie’s especially when he doesn’t have a car that he can use if an emergency meeting, like this one, comes up? It’s all ridiculous to Harry. If Zayn just wanted company then he could have chosen a flat near Louis and Harry’s and that would have made tons of sense since the flat mates live near the studio.

  
          Maybe Zayn really loves Perrie that much to do everything he can so he could live near her. This made the younger lad pout. He’s already lost Liam and Louis. And it saddened him that although the relationship between him and the older two had not changed there was still an invisible wall between them. But with Zayn it was different. The Bradford boy remained the same like nothing happened. Harry was happy with this but he’s bothered as to until when the atmosphere would last.

  
          There’s definitely no assurance to anything especially when it comes to feelings. It changes constantly like the seasons and it’s inevitable. Feelings are also complicated and often times complicated stuff gets easily broken. And once complex things break there’s no fixing it. Maybe it could still be repaired but you would always see the cracks. It’s never going to go back to its original form.

  
          Harry shook his head severely as he tried to set his thoughts right. Why was he thinking of feelings anyway? He wasn’t the over sensitive type. He never goes into details and looks at the big picture. Zayn’s the sensitive one but tries to hide it and puts up this bad boy façade to hide his weakness. And Harry finds it ridiculous because he thinks the older boy’s vulnerability is beautiful.

  
          Realizing that he just described Zayn’s vulnerability as beautiful made Harry shook his again. That doesn’t sound so right at all. He chuckled darkly when he remembered that Zayn’s name when translated in English is indeed ‘beautiful’. The name does suit the older boy, he thought. Not a single living soul with sight would say that Zayn Javadd Malik is ugly. The guy is probably a descendant from the gods or maybe he was dipped by his mother into the pool of gorgeousness when he was still a baby. Either way it only proves that he’s a perfect creature.

  
          “Fuck,” Harry cursed under his breath. Why was he thinking of these things now? He seriously needs to restart his brain because it’s surely experiencing some malfunctions at the moment. It was all Zayn’s fault as well, him and his beautiful cheekbones. “Shit!” the curly boy cursed again feeling stupid for even admitting how attractive the older boy is. He can say it out loud on interviews and it seems normal but announcing it when there’s no one can hear it is a whole new story.

  
          It hurt Harry when he fathomed that he was imagining Zayn when the other boy might not be thinking of him. The raven haired boy may perhaps be doing something else at the moment. And with Perrie around he doesn’t want to imagine what could possibly be happening between the couple right now. He unconsciously shuddered at the thought of Zayn and Perrie kissing, touching, or maybe even something worse.

  
          Disappointed with himself for such thoughts and being unable to stop them, Harry decided to turn on the radio and distract himself with something else other than Zayn. He didn’t know if Fate was teasing him because the radio was playing their song ‘Little Things’ and Zayn’s singing his lines at the moment.

  
          _“Your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for me. But bear this in mind it was meant to be…”_

  
          Harry didn’t know if he should laugh at the prank the Universe is playing on him. Or should he be angry? He chose the former so he laughed without humor. The song turned into an uncomfortable background, tormenting him a little, in his current wretchedness. The memories suddenly flooded him like it happened yesterday and not more than two years ago.

  
          _“So what now?” the sandy haired boy said breaking the awkward silence between him and the other four lads. He glanced at each boy around the broken circle of the bonfire. These boys are a complete stranger to him but he’s also a stranger to them. He was seated between the blonde boy and the raven haired lad. Across him were the two brunets. The one next to the raven haired  boy had a nice chocolate colored ringlets._

  
_“This is sad,” complained the brunet lad as he rolled his eyes. He grinned at them and stood up. They all knew he was nervous like the rest of them because he absent mindedly sweep some of his hair off his forehead and tried to tucked it behind his ear but it wasn’t long enough to be kept in place. He has the longest hair between the five of them that made him look like a girl from afar. “Why don’t we try this over again?” He grinned again lifting the heavy mist of agitation a little bit. “My name is Louis Tomlinson. I’m 18 years old, turning 19 this December. I came from Doncaster. It’s very lovely to meet you all.” He smiled at them and he looked friendly. He sat down after introducing himself._

  
_Harry thought Louis was pretty darn attractive. He was charming to top it off. And there’s this positive energy around him that makes you wanna hang around with him. The older brunet speaks like a real gentleman. He must have been plucked out from a classic novel the way that he had introduced himself with his enchanting accent that Harry has never heard of except on old classic films._

  
_After Louis, the blonde boy stood up and nervously stared at the other four. He was looking for encouragement to continue and when Louis nodded at him to go on he found his courage. “Hello,” he started his voice thick with Irish accent. “I’m Niall Horan. From Mulligar, Ireland. 17 years old.” He smiled at them and it was heart melting. He was so cute._

  
_As Niall sat down Harry bravely stood up. He wasn’t the type who wants to prolong his suffering. He was thinking to get this stage done so they would all be comfortable with each other. He wasn’t a fan of awkwardness. “The name’s Harry Edward Styles and I’m from Chesire,” he said. “I’m 16 and I love cats,” he added happily and winked at Louis who was staring up at him. The older boy just chuckled at him._

  
_Sitting down Harry turned to the other boy beside him. He was tan and has this razor sharp like cheekbones that could probably cut through anything. He was gorgeous too. But instead of standing up the tan boy turned to the sandy haired boy next to him. He must have pleaded the boy with Justin Bieber hair to go first because Harry saw the boy stood up._

  
_“Hi,” the sandy haired boy said nervously and cleared his throat so his voice wouldn’t shake. “My name is Liam Payne.” He gave them a small and warm smile. “I am 17 years of age and I live in Wolverhampton.I do hope we would all get along.” He sat down after that and Harry thought how polite the boy sounded._

  
_They all turned their gaze to the tan boy who was still frozen from his seat. He was embracing his legs closely to his chest and his arms were wounded around it. He didn’t even bother looking up at the speakers as his gaze remained glue on his feet. Louis cleared his throat loudly that’s when they realized that they have been surrounded by absolute silence._

  
_Louis’ attempt to get the boy’s attention was ineffective because the raven haired boy was still immobile. He didn’t even flinch. Harry decided to do something since when he looked at Liam, the sandy haired boy seemed to be out of ideas as well._

  
_Harry’s long slim fingers slowly crossed the distance between him and the tan boy, afraid that the other boy might break. He had met tons of fragile people and this boy beside him could be one of them. When his hand landed on the boy’s shoulder that’s when their eyes meet. He was absorbed by how light the boy’s hazel eyes were. They were filled with anxiety and yet Harry couldn’t be really sure because he couldn’t measure the depths they held._

  
_“It’s your turn mate,” the curly boy said warmly encouraging the other boy because he saw the fear in the tan boy’s eyes. He squeezed the boy’s shoulder softly. The hazel irises searched his green ones as if asking to be rescued. “It’s okay mate. Everything will be fine.” He must have sounded encouraging enough because the tan boy slowly stood up._

  
_“I’m Zayn,” he begun as he played with the hem of his shirt. He didn’t dare look at them afraid his voice might crack. “17 years old. From Bradford.” He immediately went back to his sitting position before, not meeting anyone’s eyes._

  
_Harry congratulated Zayn by squeezing the boy’s shoulder again. The tan boy turned to him and peeked at him from under those long dark lashes. And when Zayn’s two gorgeous brown eyes focused on him, the curly boy felt his heart skip a beat. The two hazel orbs were without fear now and they stared at him like there’s nothing else in the world matter but him. Is this how Zayn thank people? Dazzling them with his long lashes and beautiful hazel eyes?_

  
          When Harry arrived at Perrie’s flat he found Zayn smoking outside on the dark. The post lights were bright enough to illustrate the older boy’s figure for him to see. He didn’t like it when the raven haired boy smokes. It meant trouble most of the time. He wondered what kind of trouble is it this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

The drive back to the studio was a quiet one. Harry felt the tension around the older lad as soon as he climbed in the car after throwing his fag on the garbage. Zayn remained silent and it made the green eyed lad even anxious of what really happened to the raven haired boy. But curly decided that if the tan boy wants to talk about it, he would open it up eventually. As of now he will just observed the bothered boy on his passenger’s seat.

  
          Why was Zayn so hard to figure out anyway? Harry can’t seem to know what the tan boy was thinking and it drives him mad at times. What if deep inside the older lad is actually hurting and just won’t tell him? Because well, Zayn isn’t the type who would like to bother other people with his problem. Harry really hates it when he feels useless to help the people around him when they are suffering. And with Zayn, he often feels like that.

  
          It doesn’t help that the atmosphere was so thick with negativity that you could literally slice through it with your bare hands. The only sound that could be heard was the purr of the car’s engine and even the streets were surprisingly quiet. It was indeed a deafening silence and Harry had too much of it already. He feels like he’s going to drown if this continues.

  
          “Can we turn on the radio?” Harry asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence inside the car. He glanced at Zayn for a short second making sure that the boy was still there and didn’t jump out of the car without him noticing. Zayn was looking outside through the window and Harry wished silently that he could read what’s going inside the older lad’s mind.

  
          “Yeah,” Zayn answered not looking away from the blurry and dark image outside. He wasn’t fascinated by the picture of the real world outside. His brain is actually very far away right now. He was thinking of the past. He was thinking of what he had done that can now be never undone. Why did he do it? What was he thinking? Was he even thinking? What should he do now? Can he fix it? Can he? These were the questions that kept running through his brain since he left Perrie’s flat.

  
          Zayn was falling really hard. And he hasn’t hit the ground yet but he can already feel the pain or maybe half of it. It would definitely hurt, that he knows. If he could only turn back time and do things differently. He caught himself wishing these often but he knows it’s an impossible thing to happen. Yet the guilt was silently killing him. And no matter how fast he run away from it, it keeps overtaking him. What’s he ought to do now? Darkness was now surrounding him and he doesn’t bother to fight back. He knew he was at fault and this is Karma giving him the justice that he ought to have.

  
          Is this the end then? Zayn asked himself. Maybe it is better to end it like this. Was he dying? He wasn’t. But he was dying mentally and it was a poor pathetic death. Something that isn’t out of mercy because if Life was merciful to him, he wished for death rather than living on a soulless body accompanying a dead mind. This is justice though. He must endure and suffer because he had been evil.

  
          Zayn was ready to travel down the road to the abyss of eternal sufferings that would never give him the death he wanted. He would live all his life in mental torture and it’s painful. Not something someone would look forward to. Then a voice beckoned him. It was raspy but angelic. It was calling him out and he can feel the love that caresses his name as the voice spoke it.

  
          “Zayn,” the voice called out and Zayn wondered where the angelic being that it belonged to was. It seemed more loud and real this time. Was he losing his mind completely that his ears were playing a trick on him? He searched for a source which it may came from but it seems like an echo and he couldn’t point the place.

  
          “Zayn.” There it was again. This time the voice was dripping with worry and sadness that confused the tan boy. And at the same time it made him frustrated because he cannot really fathom where it’s from. Someone shook him and when his eyes fluttered open he saw Harry’s green orbs boring on him. Concern was written across the pale baby face of the boy beside him. So he fell asleep eh.

  
          “Are you okay?” Harry asked anxiously. The same uneasiness was on his face as the other boy slowly opened his eyes and straightened himself on a more comfortable sitting position.

  
          Zayn nodded unable to find his voice at the moment. How long has he been sleeping? All that thinking happened when he was asleep then? “How many times did you call me?” he asked, startled that he was hearing Harry in his dreams. The other lad was calling his name and he felt rescued. That wasn’t normal.

  
          “Twice,” Harry answered, bewildered by Zayn’s question. He had the car parked outside the studio and realized that the other boy had drifted to sleep. But it got him worried when he the tan boy wouldn’t wake up after calling him and squeezing his hand softly. His imaginative mind jumped into conclusion that the boy beside him might have died of heart failure. That happened to a lot of people. Especially those who could not fully expressed their feelings because they keep it all to themselves. “Why? Is everything okay?”

  
          “Nothing,” Zayn replied and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Let’s get going. The others are waiting,” he reminded Harry when the younger lad remained immobile.

  
          “Zayn,” Harry called again. It was the same cadence that Zayn had heard in his dream. The older lad turned to him and they locked gazes. “Whatever it is… I’m just right here okay? You can talk to me,” he assured reaching out to one of Zayn’s hand and squeezing it softly.

  
          Zayn smiled to the boy before him. He was glad Harry was someone who doesn’t get nosy about things. The curly lad seems to know when and what to say. If he was with Louis right now, the older boy would be squeezing him for information. Liam would be doing the same but in a more polite method. Niall would asking him questions and if not answered would just leave him alone. But Harry’s different. The cheeky lad would ask but not much and would assure to be there like what he’s doing right now.

  
          Zayn loved his best friends even how indifferent he sees of them at times. They are a handful but he likes how expressive they are about how they love him and there’s just something about Harry that makes Zayn feel secure. Secure in a sense that he could be who he really is without being judged or pitied on.  
The tan boy nodded his head to the younger lad in affirmation and it comforted Harry a little. “Come on,” Zayn said and opened the passenger’s door. The other boy copied him and they both got out of the car.

  
**

  
        “Harreh!” Louis shouted happily as Harry and Zayn entered the room. He went to hug the curly lad and pretended to cry placing his head on the crook of the younger boy’s neck. “I missed you so much! I’m so glad you made it back in one piece!” Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Zayn staring at them. But there was a mixture of glare in it. And it made the brunet smile impishly.

  
        To push the raven haired boy more off the edge, Louis decided to suck on a small skin on Harry’s neck and he made sure that the tan boy was looking.  He can feel the youngest lad closing his eyes at the pleasurable sensation but Zayn was giving him the opposite reaction. The Bradford boy’s eyes were wide open with surprise and this made the oldest lad feel triumphant.

  
        Harry felt Louis giggling all to himself after giving him a small love bite on the neck. It probably would bruise but it would heal immediately since the older lad didn’t put too much force on it and as always Louis’ mouth felt good against his skin. Tomlinson was pretty much an expert on making love bites. “What are you doing?” he asked the boy before him after he got his senses back and he knew that everyone’s eyes were on them, especially Zayn’s beautiful hazel eyes. Now it felt so wrong.

  
        “Nothing babe,” Louis whispered to Harry’s ear seductively as he peeked a glance at Zayn who turned away after getting caught. He smiled to himself again because it’s not everyday that you get to see Zayn Malik jealous. And it was awfully fun to watch and very entertaining. “I just think _your_ boyfriend is jealous,” he whispered in a very low voice that only Harry could hear.

  
        Harry’s cheeks turned red by Louis’ comment. He definitely knows who the older lad was talking about. He himself could feel the tan boy’s stare that bores into his back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said innocently. But he saw the disbelief grin on Louis’ face and he knew the other boy didn’t believe him.

  
        “Yeah right,” says Louis loudly and detached himself from Harry. He grinned even wider when he saw the younger lad’s distress. He likes it when Harry’s embarrass and all red from it. The other brunet gets even more attractive, younger, and cute. He was obsessed with it and he didn’t know why.

  
        Louis cares for Harry but he also loves to tease the younger lad as much as possible. He doesn’t want the pale boy to be arrogant because tonsof people treats Harry like he’s God’s greatest gift to human race. It could get into the lad’s head and change him and Louis doesn’t want that. He wants Harry to stay the same like when they first met at the bathroom on X-Factor. Selfish as it may sound he wished his youngest band mate would remain to be adorably silly till they both grow old. He can’t imagine a serious and vain Harry Styles. The other lad is perfect just the way he is.

  
        “Settle down lads,” ordered Paul, their _guardian_ , as what they call him. The boys all obeyed and took the empty seats by the conference table. Harry and Louis sat together while across them was Niall and Zayn with Liam sitting in between. Paul proceeded to the end of the table and sat down as well. “I have a very important message to announce tonight that’s why you’re all gathered here.”

  
        None of the lads spoke waiting for Paul to continue. They were all exhausted to muster something funny or teasing so the older man could scold them and tell them to listen up and be serious. “This is regarding your U.S. trip,” he begun staring at the boys’ faces around the table. They all looked worried but remained quiet. “As you know your MSG Concert is already on the third of December that’s less than 20 days from now and the management wants to advertise you more to the world.”

  
        “But haven’t we’ve been doing that since then?” says Liam, confused. “And the MSG Concert has been well commercialized. Even the fans are really doing a good job on spreading the news as well.”

  
        “True,” Paul agreed with a nod. “But the management wanted a bigger production for the concert. They want you on the spotlight before and after the concert. Like when Zayn and Perrie kissed before you lads went for your Up All Night Tour this year,” Paul continued.

  
        Harry saw Zayn flinched a little at the sound of Perrie’s name and the older lad looked uncomfortable but nobody seemed to notice except him. This made him wonder what really happened between the lovers. It must have been something bad because Zayn didn’t look too happy.

  
        “Zayn and Perrie going out publicly drove everybody nuts,” says Ethan, the boys’ Head Tour Manager. He stood behind Paul making the other man rose up from his seat so Ethan could take the chair. As he sat down Paul went to Louis and sat beside the two brunets. “Twitter and Tumblr went wild. It was on the front page of _The Sun_ and it added to the popularity of the band. It was the best publicity stunt ever. It also benefited Little Mix.”

  
        Harry was staring at Zayn the whole time Ethan was talking and he didn’t miss to see the frown that formed on the tan boy’s face when Ethan mentioned ‘publicity stunt’. He knew it wasn’t just for fame that Zayn dated Perrie. The older lad worshipped the land the blonde girl walked on. The Bradford boy loved Perrie and their relationship was true. It was his turn to frown at the realization. Zayn loves Perrie and Perrie loves Zayn. It’s a match made in heaven.

  
        The curly lad got irritated that up until now the management still thinks all their relationships are just stunts to become popular or to prove to the rest of the world that they are not gay. Harry has to admit he wasn’t sure if he was indeed not gay since he was lusting, sometimes which is not really often, over his band mates. Especially over Zayn, who at the moment looks pissed off. The Chesire lad considers himself bisexual since he finds both sexes incredibly attractive.

  
        “And we want something like that again,” Ethan continued breaking Harry’s train of thoughts. He was looking at the curly lad and was grinning widely that it might break his face. “We have come up with a solution.” Harry doesn’t like it when Ethan was grinning at him like that. The curly boy felt like he was a prey about to be devoured and he doesn’t feel safe. “Taylor Swift’s publicist and manager were kind enough to help us and Miss Swift herself agreed to date our dear Harry Styles.”

  
        Ethan’s grin even grew wider and every eye on the room was on Harry and the boy was taken by surprise with the news. Harry did dream of dating Taylor Swift. It was the Taylor Swift for crying out loud. If you’re a man with a proper working brain then you would never say no to that kind of offer. She was pretty, kind, talented, and famous. Harry saw and talked to her once during the Nickelodeon’s Kids Choice Award 2012 and she was indeed a sweetheart.

  
        The Chesire lad’s eyes which were glued on Ethan now turned to Zayn who was across him. What would Zayn think about this? The older lad was a person who was good at giving advices because he was the philosophical type. But harry finds it quite entertaining that Zayn himself couldn’t practice what he preach but nonetheless the boy was a great adviser.

  
        “She would be coming to London Harry,” Ethan informed. “And you would be meeting with her. The play is all set and it only needs to be performed. I’m sure you will be both good at it.” He smiled again at Harry, which sent a shiver down the younger boy’s spine. “I’m actually excited for this. She’s one of the biggest people in the industry now and you’re the most popular member of the biggest boyband the world. It’s a match made in heaven.” He said the last line with a satisfied sigh like a girl finding his prince charming.

  
        ‘A match made in heaven.’ The thought kept repeating inside Harry’s head. Just like Zayn and Perrie? No, not like the Zerrie couple at all. Zayn and Perrie love each other and he and Taylor don’t. They barely know each other. The girl doesn’t even follow him on Twitter which he doesn’t mind at all. She doesn’t follow her fans either which he finds rather narcissistic for a humble girl like Taylor.

  
The room was suddenly quiet. Ethan and Paul let the news sink in. Liam was thinking so is Louis. Niall was indifferent and Zayn wasn’t happy. And everybody knew Harry was still not over it.

  
        “I can’t compete with your girlfriend,” Louis sang as he put an arm around Harry’s broad shoulder. “She’s got 27 ex-dudes!” He smiled at the younger boy. “Good luck mate.” And he couldn’t help but burst into a loud laugh that was then joined by Niall and Liam. Zayn remained quiet and was looking away from Harry.  
        “Maybe we’ll get to hear a Harry song,” Louis added and patted the Chesire lad on the shoulder while laughing.

  
        A song about him wasn’t that pleasing to Harry’s ears at all. It could make or break him. But it definitely would make Taylor popular. Her songs are always popular because it can relate to the majority of the female population. And if she writes a bad song about him it would make him popular. Not his ideal kind of fame though. Harry Styles the World’s Most Famous Heart Breaker and he already got enough shit on his plate with all the womanizing scandal he’s being linked too. Taylor doesn’t look that pretty, kind, and talented now with his good name at staked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

Harry didn’t know why but he found himself outside Zayn’s door. He was clearly pissed but sober enough to find the older lad’s address. He came from a pub near their studio and had a couple of drinks. He was upset with the Taylor stunt and how he can’t do anything about it. He knew his friends don’t like it either but they all don’t have a say into the matter. Besides, if this is going to be good for the whole band, might as well do it.

  
          The Chesire lad knew everyone made their own share of sacrifices to keep the band together. Everyone did something for the sake of the band. And now it’s his turn to make the sacrifice. So instead of complaining and being hard headed, he decided to suck it up and do what he has to. He’s going to date, fake date, Taylor Swift.

  
          That’s why Harry got pissed, to forget the situation even just for a short moment. Of course, it was a bad decision. Getting drunk never make you forget of whatever your problem is. On the contrary it adds another problem. Bad hang overs in the morning. But in reality he drinks to have courage. Alcohol can be a good boost for confidence. He doesn’t want to run anymore since there’s no place to flee anyway.

  
          Now as Harry wraps his thoughts around the reason for drinking, he begins to wonder why in the world did he go to Zayn? He had already rung the doorbell three times before even being aware of what he was doing. Or where he was.

  
          “Who’s there?” asked a lovely voice from inside the flat. Harry can hear footsteps heading towards the door.

  
          “It’s me,” Harry replied with a stupid grin on his face. He remembered how Louis would find it really amusing when the older brunet asks who’s at the door and he would answer: ‘It’s me’. Louis once stated how smart of him to answer the question.

  
          The door flung open and Harry was face to face with a smoking Zayn. The smell of the cigarette was distinct and the curly lad didn’t like the smell at all. But somehow it comforted him, in a sense that he knows the older lad is real before him. He tried to study Zayn’s feature for a moment. The raven haired boy looked broken and stressed, that explains why the boy was smoking. The older lad was already on sweat pants and shirt and he still looked like someone worthy to be drooling over.

  
          “Hi,” Harry begun after awkwardly clearing his throat. The older boy was clearly surprise to see him and he knew that Zayn knows he’s pissed.

  
          “Come in,” says Zayn as he steps aside to let Harry through. He doesn’t know what brings the curly lad to his doorstep but he’s glad he won’t be alone tonight. The boy could be a good distraction and that’s what he needs. He’ll post-pone the decision making till tomorrow. Tonight he doesn’t need to think of anything except Harry and whatever the younger lad has on mind.

  
          Harry removed his coat and scarf as he steps in while Zayn locked the door behind him. The flat was warm, very different from the cold temperature outside. But what seems to be radiating more heat was Zyn himself, Harry realized.

  
          Suddenly a pair of strong arms wounded around his waist and he can feel Zayn’s body next to him. It made him dizzy and unstable. But the worst part was smelling the older boy’s scent of cigarettes, sweat, and perfume.

  
          Silently, Harry cursed himself for coming over at Zayn’s in a very vulnerable state. What was he thinking? The very presence of the lad holding him was intoxicating enough, what more now that he’s drunk?

  
          “Are you okay Haz?” Zayn asked worriedly his breath brushing into Harry’s ears that almost made the younger boy moan. His breath was warm and smelled like cigarette and Harry found this really entrancing. Zayn maneuvered them to the living room. He kept a protective arm on Harry’s waist to make sure the lad will not fall on the floor. The curly lad didn’t look so good and that only meant he has taken the Taylor news really bad.

  
          “Yeah,” Harry replied in a raspy voice. He cleared his throat again to hide his nervousness. “Just a little dizzy,” he explained and wanted to add, ‘…from your presence and touch.’ Touching in public was a normal thing for him but being touched by Zayn behind close doors drives him mad. In a good way kind of mad.

  
          Zayn sits Harry on the couch and took the seat next to the lad. He was curious why the younger lad went to him. Did Harry need a drinking partner? The boy could have called Niall. Did the boy need advice? The lad could have gone to Liam. If the Chesire lad wanted a friend, he could have gone to Louis. Those two are really close. Then why did Harry choose him? Yes, they were close and have a bond like any other but he just can’t see the connection now.

  
          “This will not end up good,” says Harry leaning back on the couch. He closed his eyes and Zayn thought he was talking about the Taylor issue but Harry was actually talking about him being in Zayn’s flat.

  
          “I’ll go get you some beer,” Zayn offered and stood up to head for the kitchen. He didn’t need to wait for Harry’s answer. He already knew the lad would want some alcohol. He got two bottles out, one for Harry and one for him. Again, he wondered what brought the younger lad to his abode. He was sure that the lad didn’t like the idea of dating Taylor.

  
          Zany wasn’t the type who judge people. He wasn’t prejudice nor racist but there’s just something about Swift that he doesn’t feel good about. The girl is a heartbreaker. She says she doesn’t know how to make a relationship last, then why does she enter them in the first place? Maybe the reason why she can’t find the right guy is because she keeps on dating the wrong ones. If only she would stay put for a while and concentrate on her career, she might really find the right guy. But then there would be no songs.

  
          Is that the reason why Taylor keeps on dating then, to find people to write songs about? Zayn shook his head in disbelief. The idea is grim but it would be worst if it’s real. Besides who was he to judge when he himself was horrible. A cheating jerk. Maybe he should date Swift instead, that way they would be even.

  
          Zayn thinks Harry is too innocent for someone like Taylor, who already knows how to play the game. The curly lad was a sensitive person even if the boy tries to act tough most of the time. Harry was the kind who often wears his heart on his sleeve. And Zayn was worried on what Taylor could do to the fragile younger lad.

  
          “I thought the fridge has swallowed you whole,” says harry as he enters the kitchen. Zayn jumped a little because he was caught by surprise. “Are you out of booze?” he asks staring at Zayn but then he noticed that the older boy was already two bottles of beer.

  
          Harry took one bottle from Zayn’s hand and the older boy didn’t put a fight. The short seconds that their fingers brushed against each other sent some kind of positive electricity through Harry’s body that sent his heart to beat faster and his stomach to churn. And he found himself staring stupidly at Zayn while the older boy was trying to open his bottle of beer. He looked away immediately, afraid of getting caught. But at the corner of his eyes he can’t help but stare at how Zayn drinks the beer, exposing the boy’s sexy neck. Right now, all he wanted to do was to trace every vein on that neck with his tongue. And maybe leave a few bruises that would look hot upon the perfect olive skin.

  
          Harry shook his head severely, messing up his curls even more. Sober or drunk his brain kept producing the same thought. What was happening to him? He bit his lower lip in a painful manner so his brain could focus on the pain rather than Zayn’s beautiful neck. It worked or sort of because he was now wondering how it would feel to have Zayn biting his lips.

  
          Once again Harry was staring and he thanked his lucky stars because Zayn hasn’t caught him yet. The older lad was still drinking his beer, in a slow manner. And Harry was concentrating on the boy’s perfectly parted lips sucking on the head of the bottle. A part of his brain showed him how good it would be to be to have those lips parting before his cock and ready to be fucked.

  
          “Fuck,” Harry muttered quietly and he was angry at himself for being such a dirty minded freak. But the thought turned him on. He felt uncomfortable now with his member hard on his tight pants. He crossed his legs so he could hide the growing bulge between his thighs.

  
          “Everything fine Haz?” Zayn asked and stared worriedly at Harry with his brows furrowed. He put his bottle on the counter and waited for the younger lad to answer. He’s not fine if the brunet was not okay. They were friends and girlie as it may sound, friends stick together. They always got each others back. If only he could do something to ease what Harry was feeling at the moment and if only Zayn knew that he can. But not in a way he was thinking of helping out.

  
          “Yeah,” Harry answered, his voice was pained. He can feel his shaft dripping with pre-come just with the sound of Zayn saying his name. This time he didn’t blame himself. He blamed Zayn for looking like an ad for fucking every day. He remembered how Nick described the raven haired boy as a synonym of sex.

  
          _“Zayn is sex,” said Nick unashamed during one of his and Harry’s drinking session. The Chesire lad blushed but laughed at how Nick had categorized the Bradford boy. They often do this human category thing. They love to judge people and place them on different groups. They were part of the happy-go-lucky people. Liam was the responsible type. Louis was a member of their group. Niall belonged to the cute and fragile category. And then there’s Zayn._

  
_“Zayn is the type that walks into the room and he would have your whole attention,” says Nick before gulping down another glass of vodka. It was vodka night this time. Last time they had rum. He hissed as the liquid made its way down his throat leaving a burning sensation. “He’s like gravity. You fall for him whether you like it or not. You may not basically fancy him but you can’t help but be pulled into him. Like magnet only that the attraction that he holds is stronger.”_

  
_Harry listened eagerly to Nick. He has forgotten to drink his vodka. It wasn’t everyday that the older man was talking something with sense. Most of the time Nick would gossip with him about the people they know. Just a brief of asking how their lives were then their topic would be mostly music, celebrity, their friends, and even their exes or the people they have slept with._

  
_“The boy doesn’t know the effects he has on people,” Nick continued sounding like a professor explaining a lesson to a student. “You charm people Harry. Zayn owns them.” He paused and stared at Harry to let the thought sink in. “He has an edge that is dangerous and that’s why people are attracted. Humans love thrills and adrenaline. And your sexy friend definitely offers both.” He grinned dirtily at Harry._

  
_“With Zayn, there’s always a sexual tension,” added Nick convincing Harry about his theory on Zayn. Harry tried to process his opinion. “I’m planning on getting a cat. What do you think?”_

  
          “Harry?” Zayn called out and Harry realized that the older boy was already in front of him.

  
          The curly lad noticed how close Zayn was on him. His knee was touching the boy’s side and the raven haired boy’s hand was on his knee trying to comfort. Or maybe just trying to get his attention. And if he weren’t wearing his jeans he knew that Zayn’s touch would burn his thigh thoroughly. Did the temperature inside the room rose up or is it just him?

  
          “Is everything fine Harry?” Zayn asked, his voice dripping with worry. He placed one hand on Harry’s cheek, cupping that side of the boy’s face.

  
        And Harry swore his whole body froze with that simple touch. Now he believes that a single touch can do tons of things because right now all he can concentrate on is that Zayn was holding him. Zayn’s warm palm on his cheek. Zayn’s hand on his thigh. His heart was going crazy inside his chest and making weird noises that he had never heard of. His face turns red with humiliation at the idea of Zayn hearing his heart go erratic.

  
Harry wondered if Zayn can hear his heart. Is Zayn’s heart doing the same thing? Of course not. He pouted at the thought. The older boy’s heart would never react like this. Zayn was always composed because the boy was cool and hot. What should he do now? How does he stop his heart from going insane (inZayn)?

  
        The curly boy didn’t know he was looking down till he looked up on Zayn. Green orbs meeting hazel ones. And the older lad was still waiting for his answer and he didn’t know if he could. His throat was dry and his brain wasn’t processing coherent words with his heart drumming loudly that he thinks his whole body is vibrating. What was he going to tell Zayn anyway? That he was confused and he didn’t know why he was confused.

  
        Zayn parted his lips to say something and Harry saw this as an opportunity to tell the older boy of his condition. He wasn’t quite able to tell the Bradford boy what his dysfunctional mind was really thinking because his mouth was busy crashing themselves into Zayn’s unexpected lips. He uncrossed his legs and pulled the other boy closer to him. His hand was on the boy’s waist while the other is on Zayn’s neck to hold the boy in place.

  
        Harry had his share of kisses and he knew how to work those pink plumped lips of his. He was an experienced kisser but he doesn’t consider himself as an expert because people have different ways to be pleased. As always he didn’t know why he did something he might regret later. But he doesn’t care at the moment because Zayn’s lips were warm against his own and it felt perfect against his own like their lips were fitted for each other.

  
        Zayn taste like beer and cigarette and Harry find this hot that made him deepen the kiss and to his surprise the other boy kissed him back. They kissed each other roughly and hungrily like there’s no tomorrow. It was the effect of restraining themselves too long for something like this to happen. They were both afraid of jumping and now they’re falling really fast.

  
        When their lungs begged for air they ended the kiss but their foreheads remained connected with each other. They stared at each other with their lips a little bit swollen. Dark eyes filled with lust now lightening up a bit.

  
        “What was that?” Zayn asked confusedly, staring into Harry’s emerald irises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

Louis was wondering what happened to Harry last night that the lad wasn’t able to get home. Harry texted him that the lad will not be able to get and he need not to worry. But of course he was worried. What have happened to the younger brunet? Was the lad okay especially with the Taylor news? He saw how displeased the Chesire lad was.

  
          He already told Eleanor the news and even his girlfriend wasn’t pleased with the idea of Harry dating Taylor. There’s just something about the blonde girl that’s very odd. He remembers a post on Tumblr that says: ‘Have you had a girl classmate whom everybody loves but you just can’t do so because there’s something evil about her.’ He feels something like that towards Taylor. Yes, Harry wasn’t perfect either. But the younger lad deserves someone better than the so called American Sweetheart.

  
          Louis was making his morning tea when the front door opened. He doesn’t know who arrived because it seems to be quite early to be doing a morning visit. According to the clock hanging on the kitchen wall near the fridge, it was only 15 minutes pass 6AM. The people he knows doesn’t wake up this early and he himself was surprise when he woke up at such a time. It was their free day today and he doesn’t have any plans yet.

  
          “Who’s there?” the brunet asked when he heard footsteps heading towards the stairs. The steps were noisy and heavy like someone who just woke up from somber was dragging himself to walk. It’s impossible to be Eleanor because he would have heard her heels against the wooden floor. The intruder has to be a man.

  
          “It’s me,” answered the intruder in a husky voice. Sleepiness can be traced at the male voice, who halted before getting to the stairs.

  
          “Where have you been Harry?” asked Louis with his brows furrowing as he went out of the kitchen and headed to the direction of the stairs where the younger boy was. It was indeed Harry. Louis knew of course. Who else wound answer his, ‘Who’s there?’ with a, ‘It’s me.’

  
          Louis noticed that Harry was still on the same clothes he was wearing yesterday and the way the lad looked he knew the boy had been drinking. Now he’s really worried if where else could this Taylor stunt lead to. And was Harry seen when the lad went drinking? Those images would not bring any good to the lad’s name. Some people just can’t understand that it isn’t really a taboo for them to drink. They’re only humans. Yet people make a big deal about it.

  
          “I was…” Harry trailed off, unable to find the right words to tell Louis. His head was pounding. It wasn’t that bad because he had worse hangovers before. And maybe he’ll have worse hangovers in the future. What was he suppose to tell the older boy? That he went out drinking and crazily ended up in Zayn’s flat and shared a passionate kiss with the raven haired boy. Now that’s not a very nice story to begin the day with.

  
What happened last night was nothing more but a beautiful mistake. Something he wants to repeat and at the same time something he doesn’t want to happen again. But Harry has to face the fact that a larger part, like 90% out of 100%, of his brain and heart wanted it to happen again. And again. Maybe forever if it’s allowed.

  
        “I went out,” Harry answered not looking back at Louis’ interrogating stare. He cannot lie to the older lad. He wasn’t the kind who was good at lying. And he knew Louis was the type who can’t be lied to. The older lad just knew if something wasn’t right must be because the Doncaster lad was older and had tons of experience. One time that tease offended the older brunet and he had to appease the lad by being the lad’s slave for the day. And it was an experience he would never forget.

  
        “Where?” Louis asked like he was a police with a criminal at hand. And the suspect at the moment was Harry. The younger lad didn’t like it because firstly he was in no condition for this interview; secondly, he wasn’t in shape for lies; and lastly, he was not feeling well.

  
        “A near by pub,” Harry answered making it short and simple so he wouldn’t have to go into so much details to make it more believable. Elaboration makes it look more stage and rehearsed. So keeping it simple, short, and close to the truth is the best way not to get caught.

  
        “Where did you sleep?” Louis asked again with the same police like tone. This time he was sounding close to a lawyer asking the eye witness what really happened on the crime scene. Harry stared at him and remembered Liam. He was never the fatherly-type but he actually was. He has four younger sisters whom he love very much and he takes care of if his Mum isn’t around.

  
        “Can we not do this now?” Harry complained and groaned with frustration. Why was Louis being all Liam now? The older lad was supposed to be like him, happy-go-lucky and not the responsible one. But he knew Louis cared that’s why the boy was doing this. He knew everyone is worried with him but he doesn’t want to trouble them. They all have things to worry about and he doesn’t want to be one of those things.

  
“Okay,” Louis said in defeat and sighed. Harry do looked like someone who needed a day of sleep and he has been on the younger lad’s shoes once. Hangovers are bad. They’re annoying and troublesome. Why can’t humans drink as much as they like and not get hangovers in the morning? It seems unfair. Life isn’t always fair to begin with so he can’t complain.

  
        “Thanks,” says Harry and smiled at Louis, showing his beautiful dimples. The one’s that makes teenage girls scream their lungs off. He was thankful that Louis let him off the hook. Now he needs to sleep. He needs to rest so his brain could function correctly and he could plan on what to do next.

  
        As Harry started climbing up the stairs, Louis phone rung. “Hello?” he said as he answered it. Harry kept on and didn’t mind the older lad. “Yes he’s here…Okay. I’ll pass the message Zayn,” he said and hung up.

  
        Harry heard Zayn’s name and he realized that Louis knows. He needs to escape or else the older lad will trap him. Question him. He doesn’t want any of those right now. He needs to find a way out. A good excuse perhaps that he still has to think of with a clear mind. Later did he notice that he was running up the stairs like a guilty little boy.

  
        “Harry Edward Styles!” Louis screamed and followed Harry up the stairs.

  
**

  
        It was 7 in the morning and Kerra was drinking coffee while reading _A Walk to Remember_ by Nicholas Sparks. She had read it many times before but she likes rereading it whenever she feels sad. And she is, because her parents, brother, and grandparents couldn’t come to her photo exhibit that is happening that very night. Her parents told her that her Grandma was sick and her brother has a football game, so none of them could come.

  
        She felt all alone now. She only has few friends whom she can bother. And she doesn’t want to ask them to come instead because they might have other things that they needed to do. People sometimes never speak their minds. They would say they wanted to go but deep inside they were suppose to be doing something else and they couldn’t say it out loud because they wanted to be kind. That’s pathetic sometimes.

  
Humans are pathetic and so is she because she’s one of them. If she was indeed human, then why does she feel like an alien? Sometimes she feels so foreign and it’s only good if people pretended that she doesn’t exist. What annoys her is when some people make her feel that it was a mistake she existed. Some of her colleagues treat her like that and she ignores it instead of starting a fight. Why would she want to add fuel to the fire? That would never benefit her.

  
        It’s just sometimes those kinds of people frustrate her. Why can’t they leave her alone? She has done nothing to them. Then she concluded, it must be because those people are bored with their lives so they think her life is more interesting. She actually doesn’t find her life that interesting. But with Zayn in the picture, maybe it is. And she doesn’t find it something to be happy about.

  
        “Can I join you?” asked a husky voice from behind her that almost made her jump out of her chair. She turned her head around and saw her little piece of sunshine. Unfortunately, Zayn wasn’t that bright that morning. The boy was smiling at her but it didn’t reach his eyes and she knew trouble was lurking.

  
        “What’s wrong?” she asked him, unable to stop herself from being curious on what’s troubling the raven haired boy. The smile vanished from the boy’s beautiful lips. She doesn’t like sticking her nose into someone else’s business but with Zayn it was different. She cares for the boy even if she won’t admit it out loud to anyone else even to herself. Somehow she can see herself in Zayn. Someone who’s misunderstood by the world and someone who just wanted to fit in.

  
        “That’s how you greet me now?” he teased but his attempt for humor was failed because his voice betrayed him. His voice sounded sad even to his own ears.

  
        She sighed and looked away from the hazel eyes. “Come sit with me,” she offered as she stared back into those chocolate eyes that looked terribly melancholic for her liking. The boy took the seat across her on her four-seater, square table. “Tea or coffee?” she asked as the boy sat down comfortably.

  
        “Do you have beer?” Zayn inquired and Kerra pouted. Who in their right minds would want a bottle of beer so early in the morning?

  
        “I don’t have alcohol,” she replied still pouting. Zayn already knew that she doesn’t drink except on parties. And she preferred wines because they are less evil as to what her father would say. They never had beer in the house back home, though her father was fond of wines. He would always have a glass everyday, saying that it was healthy.

  
        “Right,” the boy said in realization. He drummed his fingers on the table and Kerra stared at him. Studying him and trying to figure out what’s troubling him. His brows were closely knitted together and she concluded that he was thinking on how he should begin. There was no secret between them. They’ve been very open with each other. And she knew that he will spill the beans sooner or later. All she has to do is wait.

  
        “Tea or coffee?” she asked again as she sips coffee from her mug but her eyes never left the boy before her. She noticed that the boy have showered because his hair was still wet but not dripping. He was wearing an Abercrombie hoodie and he looks like his modeling for the brand. At times like this she does a reality check because she might be only dreaming or this gorgeous boy before her was just a lost model who wanted a cup of tea.

  
        “Whatever you’re having,” he answered bluntly. At the moment he doesn’t want to deal with simple matters like what to drink.

  
         Kerra rose up from her chair and begun making Zayn a cup of coffee. She doesn’t need to ask him what he wants on his coffee because she had made him one, many times before.

  
        Now that the brunette was busy making him a cup of coffee, Zayn was left all alone to his thoughts again. Thoughts that haunt him even in his sleep. How would he begin to tell Kerra about the incident with Perrie last night and the kiss he shared with Harry? He doesn’t know why but he felt okay telling the girl about what happened between him and Harry in his own kitchen. She would understand and she would be honest with him.

  
        Sometimes Zayn thinks Kerra must be his soul mate. He has read about this kind of things before. According to what he had read, soul mates are the persons who understand you like no one else in the world can. They don’t have to be a lover. They can be your parent, your sibling, your friend, your teacher, your classmate or somebody you know. You may not always end up with your soul mate but there will always be this weird connection between the two of you. Something that the rest of the world would never understand.

  
        With Kerra it isn’t ‘I love you because I understand you.’ it’s more of a ‘I understand you because I love you.’ Zayn knows the girl loves him. But what he wants to know is that if Kerra is in love with him. Those are two different things.  
        “Here’s your coffee sir,” says Kerra and hands Zayn his cup after winking at him. The boy can tell that she’s also attempting to lighten up the mood.

  
        Zayn fidgets with his cup of coffee and tries not to look into Kerra’s observant gaze. He knew the girl was studying him and was trying to figure him out which she does easily. He was an open book when it comes to the brunette before him. He’s vulnerable with Kerra and he doesn’t mind.

  
         _“Don’t try to hide it,” says Kerra as she hugs him when he was receiving tons of hate because of his religion. It just hurts when people can’t accept you for who you are. They make you feel like you’re a horrible person if you try to be yourself. That’s something Kerra can relate to and Zayn knows that. She shared some of her day at school and she might cut some of the gruesome parts but he can tell school isn’t easy for her._

  
         _School was never easy for aliens like them, Zayn thought. They were treated badly because they look different, dress different, have different accent, likes different food, etc. He experienced that before when he was in high school. He thought it would stop but even away from high school things are the same. There’s always someone who would judge him and talk crap about him. He can’t catch a break from all the shit people make against him._

  
         _“It’s okay to cry,” Kerra added and held him tighter. Zayn had been holding back the tears because he wasn’t the type who would cry but he had enough. He was long broken and was trying to hold himself together but now he crumbles into pieces. Nothing and no one could save him now. “Don’t do it all alone because I won’t be there to wipe the tears. I won’t be there to offer a shoulder that you could cry on. Just do it somewhere I can see you and hold you close.”_

  
         _The last time Zayn cried was when they lost X-Factor now he’s doing it again. His eyes were producing tears he never knew he had. He was always tough but here in Kerra’s arms he was melting. He was crying his eyes out and he doesn’t care if he looks pathetic because he felt safe and accepted. He was comforted because he wasn’t alone and that’s what he wanted to feel._

  
        That happened a long time ago but Zayn could still remember it clearly like it happened yesterday. He did cry in Kerra’s arms like a little boy in the same room he was in right now. But this time he will not cry. There’s no need to shed tears because he was stronger now. He was braver than he was before.

  
        “It’s Perrie,” he begun and looked back at the black irises that were waiting for him to spill the beans. He saw the shock that crosses the lovely face of the girl before him.

  
        “She knows.” It sounded like a question but at the same time like a statement. Kerra always predicted that Perrie would find out about her and Zayn. Sooner or later the truth will eventually come out. A dead rat will rot and will smell. She never liked the idea of cheating on Perrie but she can’t let go of Zayn. But she was afraid of owning him as well because she might break him. She wasn’t good with relationships.

  
         _Love is fragile and sometimes we humans aren’t its best caretaker._ She got that from Nicholas Sparks’ _The Last Song_. It was true and that’s why she was afraid of committing anything with Zayn. She prefers to be the third wheel that the boy can easily dispose without getting hurt. She could be like that. She wanted to be like that in Zayn’s life. Often people never wanted to be an option in someone’s life but Kerra wanted to be one as long as it’s Zayn.

  
        “She doesn’t know,” Zayn clarified trying to control his own nervousness. “She suspects something.” He was looking at the girl’s reaction and she was back into being composed but her eyes betrayed her. The charcoal black orbs were screaming with panic.

  
        Now that Zayn has told Kerra the first news, he needs to drop the second bomb. “I also kissed Harry,” he confessed and can’t help but blush. He wasn’t able to look into Kerra’s widening eyes so he stared into his cup of coffee instead.

  
        He never tear his eyes away from his cup afraid that he might meet Kerra’s gaze and that would be both embarrassing and awkward. He waited for her to speak. And it seemed like eternity before she does. He remembered the talk he had with Perrie last night. It was just like this. The feeling was the same, knowing he doesn’t have a clue on what both girls were about to say.

  
        “How did you feel?” Kerra asked and Zayn looked up to her.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

Perrie was sitting quietly by the kitchen table. She has been restless the whole night. Always waking up and by 2 in the morning she couldn’t fall back to sleep anymore. It was after an hour when Jade came stumbling back to their flat. The other girl didn’t notice her and proceeded immediately to her room. Perrie concluded that Jade must have been really tired.

  
          The talk she had with Zayn kept repeating inside Perrie’s head. Zayn had denied the accusation. She was just asking and not assuming anything. She trusts the raven haired boy and he trusts her. That’s the most important ingredient in a relationship, trust. But she can tell something wasn’t right.

  
          The boy had been distant from her these last couple of days and she wasn’t used to it. She felt like a wall has been built up between them and she can’t break it down. Zayn was still affectionate, loving, gentle, polite, and the sex was incredible. He was rough when it comes to making love to her and she likes it. At least for once in her life she felt wild and free-spirited. She has always been reserved and careful with everything.

  
          It was nice that Zayn was passionate towards her but she can sense that he seems to have this need within him. The kind when he aches for her body and touch as if he couldn’t fill the thirst he had. She loves how he craves for her but when she stares into his eyes looking down at her, she can tell he was seeing pass her. Zayn wasn’t staring into her soul like she was looking into his. It was a painful thing to watch so she would often look away.

  
          Zayn wasn’t seeing Perrie and that’s what hurting her the most. Can you imagine the one you love looking at you but not actually seeing you because he was imagining someone else? That was the moment when Perrie realized that Zayn might be cheating on her. Who was the girl? she would often ask herself when the boy wasn’t looking at her. She doesn’t want him to see that she was sad because then he would worry about her and be sad himself.

  
          _“Are you cheating on me?”Perrie asked as she stared deep into Zayn’s hazel eyes, her blue one’s begging him to say ‘No.’ But she braced herself for the worst. “Zayn?” she called at the dumbstruck boy before her._

  
_Zayn looked down and intertwined their fingers. He squeezed the girl’s hand and looked up into the seraphic sapphires that were boring into his soul. “Do you doubt me?” he asked back in a very sad voice that matched his beautiful yet melancholic hazel eyes. It almost broke Perrie’s heart and she scolded herself for confronting Zayn like that._

  
_“No baby,” she answered and kissed his lips and pulled away still staring into her boyfriend’s lovely eyes. “It’s just lately you’ve been very far. You were within my reach but I can’t hold on unto you.” She was embarrassed because she sounded like a clingy girlfriend. She wasn’t that type and Zayn knows that but there are times when she just has to be one._

  
_“I’m so sorry,” Zayn soothed as he cups Perrie’s face in his hands. “I never meant to do that. It was just that we were very busy.”_

  
_“I know,” Perrie said. “I’m sorry too.” She looked away when she couldn’t bear to stare into those addictive brown eyes. Deep in side she felt happy because Zayn wasn’t just looking this time, he was seeing her. “I was being stupid again.”_

  
_“Shhh...” Zayn said and kissed her forehead. “You’re not being silly. You’re never silly. You’re beautiful,” he assured while looking into her eyes. He wasn’t lying when he said that because Perrie was indeed beautiful, inside and out. “I’m all yours.”_

  
_And that was all Perrie needed to hear to forget the rest of the world. Zayn was hers. She wasn’t possessive but she wanted to make sure the people around her really wanted to be in her life. Or maybe spend their lives with her. Now she was peaceful but she knew it wasn’t forever that she could have Zayn._

  
          Stupid as it may sound but even after realizing that Zayn might be cheating on her, Perrie never stopped caring for the boy. She was never angry of him. She was thinking maybe she was at fault too that’s why he was slipping away. She could not blame him both because he was a man in the first place and he has cravings she could not give. But in reality she has given him everything he ever wanted only that Perrie could not see that Zayn was just human enough to not be satisfied with her.

  
          She would do everything to keep him in her arms. She would find ways to keep their relationship strong and maybe Zayn would see that what they have is enough. How will she do that? She asked herself. How will she know if she was indeed doing what is enough? She doesn’t find an answer but she’s willing to find one and maybe try different things to find it.

  
          At 6 in the morning she decided to cook breakfast for her and Jade. Another day is about to begin and it meant another day filled with opportunity for her to be more happy than she was yesterday.

 

  
**

  
          “What do you mean?” Zayn asked confusedly at the raven haired girl across him on the table. Her dark irises were on him and he knew she wasn’t missing anything.

  
          “What did you feel when you kissed?” she asked softly and it hurts a little. She doesn’t know why it pained her but it does anyway. She locked up the feeling and focused on the situation at hand. She can see that this issue was bothering the tan boy and she would do anything to comfort him. She wanted to give Zayn the peace of mind he deserved.

  
          “I don’t know,” Zayn answered and wiped his face with his palm. He was even more confused now. He was frustrated because he doesn’t know and he doesn’t like it.

  
          “Okay,” she said when she noticed that they were both getting nowhere. She doesn’t know how to handle the situation either. And she was sure she doesn’t have the answer he needed. She would do what she can to help Zayn though. “Are you okay with it?”

  
          “With what?” he asked confusedly because he was lost in thought again. He was trying to decode himself and he wasn’t doing much progress on that matter.

  
          “Kissing Harry,” she replied. “Are you okay about kissing Harry?”

  
          He thought for a moment on what to say. To be honest he doesn’t feel bad kissing Harry. Curly boy’s lips were soft and warm. It felt right actually. “Yes.”

  
          Pain flicker into Kerra’s face but she was able to hide it before Zayn even saw it. This wasn’t the time to think about her feelings because all that matters at the moment was Zayn’s. “Would you do it again?” she asked not even ashamed but hurt and hoping Zayn would say ‘No’.

  
          Another short silence and contemplation on Zayn’s part. Would he do it again? He asked himself. Would he? He remembered how Harry’s lips tasted, how it fitted into his, how he felt himself getting a hard on, how he was thrilled, and how he would be willing to do it again. “Yes,” he replied and blushed deeply. He was looking everywhere except the girl before him.

  
          It crushed Kerra’s heart but once again she locked up the feeling and put it behind her. She wonders if this day would be filled with sufferings instead of the joy she was looking forward to. “I think you like him,” she stated, matter-of-fact. She swallowed hard first so her voice won’t crack. “You like Harry Styles.”

  
          Wide eyes, Zayn was staring at the raven haired girl. He opened his mouth to deny it but no words came out because he knew it was true. He has a crush on Harry Edward Styles. And it could lead to more.

  
          “What am I suppose to do?” he asked as he ran his hand through his hair. Now that the truth was obvious before his very eyes he was scared. He could have been falling for the younger lad without him noticing which isn’t a good news. No wonder he gets irritated whenever Louis flirts with Harry. It wasn’t the normal kind of crush thing so to say because he had been feeling this before and it hadn’t waiver since then.

  
          “I’m not sure either,” the girl replied sadly. “It’s really all up to you now Zayn. You cannot run away from it either because it would lead you nowhere.” She reached out for his hand and held it, wishing it was enough to comfort him.  
          “Is this even normal?” he asked and held tightly at Kerra’s hand as if it was his lifeline. “Am I supposed to feel this kind of emotion for more than one person?” He was panicking.

  
          “It’s normal,” Kerra assured and traced small circles with her thumb at the back of Zayn’s hand. “We’re humans. We are created to love so we could be loved back in return.” She smiled at him warmly that somehow soothed Zayn. “You just have to know which one you couldn’t live without and not the one you could live with for the rest of your life.”

 

  
**

  
          _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

  
          “Harry Edward Styles!” Louis called from outside of Harry’s door after he had knocked forcefully that almost destroyed the door.

  
          The curly lad grunted with frustration because Louis was being loud and it didn’t help when his head was aching. Harry stared into the bed side table clock and it says that is was 10 in the morning. It was still too early and he wanted to do nothing but sleep because he was tired. It was their day off anyway and he wanted to rest. For once he wanted nothing of the outside world.

  
          “Harry,” Louis called again and another knock was heard. It echoed throughout the house and Harry swore it felt like an earthquake to him. “You get out here or I’m going to drag you out,” Louis threatened which didn’t sound so scary at all. But since Lou has always his ways to persuade people Harry decided to surrender instead of fighting back.

  
          Louis had already let him sleep quietly for more than three hours might as well face the older boy’s wrath right now. He has to quipped himself for the other brunet’s questions which would be a lot. How is he supposed to answer them anyway? Should he be honest? Half honest? Should he lie?

  
          “Zayn’s waiting for you,” Louis informed after another knock and Harry heard the older lad’s footsteps leaving his door.  
          Harry jerked up from bed and shook his head severely. Did he hear Louis right? Was the boy messing up with him? Was Zayn really at their flat? He decided not to trust Louis so he grabbed his phone to check if Zayn had texted him anything.

 

  
_Haz, I’m in your living room._   
_I need to talk to you if you wake up. I’ll be waiting. –Z_

  
_­_           Harry reads the text over and over again in case his eyes were playing tricks on him. He wanted to be sure so he wouldn’t be made into a fool. Then there was another text message.

 

  
_Haz, if you’re already awake please go out immediately._   
_I just need to talk to you. Plus Lou is creeping my out. –Z_

  
          Harry laughed out loud at the last text message. It would be nice to see Zayn being crept out by Louis. It’s been a long time since he got to see that face on the raven haired boy. Louis was good at creeping people out as much as the boy was expert at persuading people to do things for him.

  
          Hurriedly, Harry grabbed a pair of sweatpants and headed out of his room. He went downstairs and he can hear the faint sound of the telly. When he arrived at the living two pair of eyes was one him. The blue ones were accusingly staring at him like he was a criminal. The hazel ones were glad to see him.

  
          “Hey,” Harry started and rubbed his nape with his hand. His eyes darted from Zayn to Louis then vice versa.

  
          “Hey yourself Styles,” Louis snorted and his voice was dripping with sarcasm. His eyes were piercing deep into Harry’s body like daggers. “At least wear a shirt.” Louis rose up from the couch and playfully slaps Harry’s bare chest. He winked at Harry before leaving the curly boy and the tan boy all alone. Harry knew better than be tricked by Louis’ wink. To the curly boy it translated as: “I’m going to be listening and at the same time enjoy it.”

  
          “Vas happenin’?” asked Harry trying to lighten up the mood as he took the seat next to Zayn on the couch. He remembered to put a space between them both, not trusting himself. He noticed that Zayn wasn’t looking at him but at his chiseled chest that wasn’t covered with any material. “Like what you see?” he teased and winked at the older boy cheekily.

  
          Zayn let out a nervous laugh and cleared his throat as he tear his eyes away from Harry’s toned body that was very distracting. He stared into his hands instead because he knew he won’t be able to look away. He was never nervous around Harry before, this has to be the first. But after he realized that he might have a very strong feeling (more than a crush but not totally in love) towards the younger boy he felt conscious. His whole focus was now on the curly lad and the tiny details about the green eyed boy.

  
          Zayn can now notices how fit Harry was, how pink and puffy Harry’s lips were, how big Harry’s hands were, how pale Harry was next to him, how green Harry’s eyes were, how elegant Harry would ran his fingers through his hair, how raspy Harry’s voice was, how broad Harry’s shoulders, and a lot of more things that he had never noticed before. What was happening to him? He asked himself. He was cheating on the girlfriend that he loved, with a girl that he thinks he loves too. Now here he was lusting over his best friend.

  
          “Zayn?” Harry called and the tan boy wanted to melt at how lovely his name sounded from the curly lad’s lips. “Is it about last night?” he asked worriedly and wanted nothing but to reach out to Zayn and maybe share the pain the tan boy was feeling. He did not though, afraid it would make the situation worse.

  
          “I’m not actually sure Haz,” Zayn replied and completely lost Harry. The curly boy could not understand what the older male meant. “I’m confused,” he added and turned to Harry. This time he wasn’t staring into Harry’s beautiful body but into those emerald eyes that stares back at him.

  
          Harry doesn’t know what pained him the most at the moment. Zayn indirectly rejecting him or the pain he can see from the tan boy’s eyes. “I understand Zee,” Harry assured with a nod. “We’ll figure it out, yeah?” He mustered a smile for the boy so he could hide his pain.

  
          “Yeah,” Zayn replied, lifting some of his worries with Harry’s assurance. “Do you have plans for today?”

  
          Harry shook his head lost again. Why is it that with Zayn nothing makes sense but was perfect anyway? “Are you asking me on a date?” he teased instead and batted his lashes at the older lad that gained him a laugh from the boy.

  
          “I have this exhibit to attend tonight,” Zayn explained in a low voice as he dropped his stare on the floor, feeling shy. “I was thinking maybe you and the boys could accompany me,” he said as he looked up to Harry under his lashes. Harry wanted to choke Zayn for using the same trick he had when they first met. But the curly boy knew the older lad doesn’t have any idea of what he was doing.

  
          “Can you assure me free drinks?” Harry asked as he suspiciously glared at Zayn. He didn’t look scary at all but funny because Zayn chuckled at him.

  
          “Of course,” Zayn promised with a smile that made Harry’s heart skip a beat.

  
          “Then I’m in,” Harry answered with conviction. “Louis are you tagging along?” he asked because he knew the oldest boy would be eaves dropping on them.

  
          “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” replied Louis as he emerged from the kitchen with a cup of tea. “What kind of exhibit is it anyway?” he asked not even pretending that he wasn’t listening to the supposed to be private conversation.  
          “A photo exhibit,” Zayn replied and smiled at the two boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

_“It’s normal,” Kerra assured and traced small circles with her thumb at the back of Zayn’s hand. “We’re humans. We are created to love so we could be loved back in return.” She smiled at him warmly that somehow soothed Zayn. “You just have to know which one you couldn’t live without and not the one you could live with for the rest of your life.”_

  
_Zayn contemplated on the last sentence and wondered which one he could not live without with. Perrie? Kerra? Harry? He measured how much each of them worth but he couldn’t come up with a proper equation. Harry always said you can never really define love and Zayn concluded that it could not also be measured. Even Science can’t explain it, neither can Einstein. He doesn’t have to choose right now, right? He decided to cross the bridge when he gets there._

  
_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

  
_“Coming,” says Kerra and stood up from her chair and headed towards the door. She peeped at the door hole for a sec before opening it. A man handed her a large pink pox with fuchsia colored ribbons. She signed the receipt and waved the man goodbye after wishing him a good day. Zayn watched her and smiled to himself how kind the girl was. As the girl closed the door the tan boy noticed the book on the table._

  
_Zayn knew exactly what’s the situation if he sees_ A Walk to Remember _out from the girl’s shelf. What could be the cause of her sadness? He looked up from the book to the girl who was now heading back towards him. She placed the box on the table making sure their coffees weren’t knocked out._

  
_“What’s that?” he asked curiously as he eyed the pink box on the table. He didn’t miss to see the face the girl made when she ran her fingers over the box. Pink wasn’t the girl’s favorite color and she never liked it when people give her pink stuff just because she was a girl. She said once that it was injustice to be always generalizing that every female loves pink things._

  
_Zayn smiled a little when the girl gave him a not-so-scary glare. Moments like this one are precious to him because the girl’s presence makes him forget about his own problems. They have this little world of their own where they are both free to be anything or anyone they like. The real world outside didn’t matter for this short period of time and Zayn liked that. Everybody loves to escape reality once in a while, he even considers it healthy._

  
_Kerra opened the box carefully and her eyes got misty with what she saw inside. She saw the small card on top of the blue dress and she could no longer stop the tears from rolling down her face._

 

Kerra,

We’re sorry we couldn’t come darling.  
We’re very proud of you.  
And we would always love you. xoxo  
-Mama, Papa, Abram, Gran, and Gramps

 

_Zayn was suddenly besides her holding her in his strong arms for support. For the first time in her life she felt so alone yet at the same time she knew she was loved. She wished she could feel their love, physically, right now. She missed her family so bad. Her Mum’s home cooked meals, her Dad’s words of wisdom, he brother’s jokes, her Gramps old stories, and her Gran’s warm hugs. All she wanted was for them to be here with her for tonight. Just tonight when she will be able to shine like how they shine before her eyes. She wanted them to see that their support didn’t end up in vain._

  
_Why was life being hard on her right now? Can it not be tough some other time just not right now? Not right now when she was weak. She was even barely standing up from the blows she’s been getting from all the obstacles she had encountered. Does it want to see her crawl?_

  
_Once more in his life, Zayn felt weak and useless. There was a sobbing girl in his arms and the only thing he could do is pull her closer to him and make soothing circles on her back with his hand. He was supposed to be strong. He was supposed to be protecting the people he loves. He glanced at the inside of the box and saw the note and another set of papers that looked like tickets. He also saw the beautiful blue dress with a little bit of black materials on it._

  
_“What’s wrong love?” he asked in a whisper when the sobs quiet down a little. He placed a small kiss on top of the girl’s head and tightened his embrace on her, to assure the girl that he was right there. She could talk to him._

  
_Two sad and wet black irises stared up into his hazel ones and his heart broke a little at the sight. Kerra’s eyes were red from crying and her lips a bit swollen because she bit them to lessen her sobs. This has to be the third time that Zayn saw this side of the girl. She was always compose and sure of everything. But now she looked younger even for her age and so fragile it scared him, that even his simple breathing could break her._

  
_He wiped away the tears from her face and sat her on the table next to the pink box. He stood between her thighs and stared into her eyes that never left him after they broke their embrace. He saw the fear in her gorgeous eyes and he doesn’t know how to make them disappear. He held her face between his hands and ducked his head and kissed her. At that moment it was the only coherent thing he can think of. Maybe his kiss can mend her broken heart. He deeply wished he could heal whatever pain she’s in._

  
_Kerra kissed Zayn back in a needy way and the boy pulled back when they both needed air. They were both dazed and light headed from the lack of oxygen or were it from their heated kiss. They both couldn’t tell and it doesn’t matter. It calmed her down somehow to know that she wasn’t really that alone. She has Zayn, whose sticking around for the moment._

  
_“What’s wrong?” the boy asked worriedly knowing those weren’t tears of happiness the girl had shed. He stared at the box again and the girl copied him._

  
_“My family was supposed to come,” she explained and tried very hard not to cry again. “But they couldn’t,” she added and her voice cracked completely but the tears didn’t fall this time._

  
_Zayn kissed her forehead and embraced her. Kerra rested her head at his shoulder finding comfort. The boy knew how it felt to miss a family. He misses his every single day. Then there’s growing void in him that could not be filled by anyone or anything at all. It was frustrating but when he sees his family the void disappears like it never existed. But when he leaves them again the void is once again there._

  
_“I’m sorry,” was all he could whisper to the girl because he doesn’t know what else to say. He feels her pain because he experienced it himself. But he can’t help her as well because he doesn’t know how to fix it either if he was on her position. It was not a fixable longing because there was no cure for it._

  
_“I’m sorry too,” she said sadly. “I’m just disappointed how things turned up. I was expecting so much.” She frowned._

  
_Zayn kissed the top of her head again. “Less expectation. Less disappointment,” he teased because it was usually the girl who tells him that whenever he complains about other people’s action. And it wasn’t often that he complains what people do._

  
_“I know,” the girl said and attempted a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. But Zayn saw that as progress that she would be better in a little while. She doesn’t mope around because she always said that happiness was a choice and that there was time for everything. She would give herself a short time to be sad then move on to be happy again. Life is too short to be spent being unhappy. “Thank you,” she said and kissed his cheek._

  
_He smiled down at her knowing that she’s already heading back to the road of happiness. “What’s this all about anyway?” he asked feeling curious what was so special that it made the tough tan girl cry._

  
_For the first time the girl hesitated. She blushed deeply and looked down on the floor. It only made Zayn curious. It wasn’t every day that the girl was super shy. Maybe only when they have sex but they’re not doing anything sexual right now. She was biting her lower lips meaning she was nervous as well._

  
_“I have this photo exhibit along with the other students,” she explained in a voice that was just above whisper. She never keeps anything from Zayn but she was shy to ask him to go to her little exhibit. He was a busy boy and his time is precious. She remembered his quote: ‘Time is the most precious gift you can give someone because it’s a portion of your life that you will never get back.’ Would Zayn be willing to spend a small portion of his life by coming to her exhibit?_

  
_“Could I come and see it?” he asked but to him it sounded more like a beg. It was the first time he would see the girl’s work. She had let him view the pictures she had taken that were inside her laptop. But she had never shown him a printed one. She said she couldn’t find a perfect picture for him yet. He wouldn’t miss the opportunity to see her work, the pictures that she had put her mind and heart into._

  
_Kerra couldn’t believe of what she heard. Did Zayn really want to come to her photo exhibit? Is he going to spend a portion of his life to see her works? Her heart was overflowing with happiness and the pain she felt learning her family couldn’t come suddenly ebbed. It was now bearable and not the kind that could tear her apart like before._

  
_“Yes,” she answered and the boy’s face lit up. She was still not over the fact that Zayn was coming to see her pictures. Those images that shares a portion of who she is. She reached out to the box and got the invitation cards to the exhibit. She was about to turn one over to his waiting hand but hesitated. “Are you sure?” she asked worriedly. She just might be imagining the excitement in his voice._

  
_“Of course,” he answered and snatched the card from her hand and winked at her. “It’s my free day today. And Paul wants us not till one in the afternoon tomorrow.” He stared at the card in his hand and noted that the exhibit would start at 7PM. As he looked back at the tan girl on the table he noticed the other invitation card she was holding. “How many did you get?”_

  
_“Five,” she answered sadly, remembering why she got five again; one for her Mum, her Dad, her brother, her Gramps, and her Gran._

  
_“Can the boys come too?” he asked not thinking twice. It would be nice that the boys would get to meet Kerra. And the girl could get to know his friends, especially Harry. She can then tell him what he thinks of the curly lad. He felt excited because he knew the lads would like Kerra, she was unlike any other._

  
_Kerra knew exactly who are_ the boys _that Zayn was referring to. And it made her nervous. She’s actually going to meet Zayn’s best friends. That was like meeting his family because these boys are now part of his extended family. “What if they won’t like me?” she asked nervously but played it cool. Zayn saw it but pretended not to notice. “They are like your family already Zayn. Are you sure about this? Can I not meet them one by one instead?” The thought of meeting Zayn’s best friends is not something she had imagined. She would be this secret girl in his life that no else would know. She liked it that way. She prefers to be excluded from Zayn’s world of fame since she loves this peaceful little world of hers. She wouldn’t trade it for anything else._

  
_Another thing to add to her worries ─ a fact she often forgets ─ was that Zayn’s mates weren’t what people consider normal. They were international superstar for crying out loud. How does she handle that? They were still humans, she tells herself to ease her tension. Now that their fame doesn’t bother her, their impression of her does._

  
_Zayn was no help at easing her panic because all the boy did was be amused by her. He was smiling at her which to her looked like an evil smirk. “They’ll like you,” he assured and smiled sweetly it could have attracted ants. “You have to be prepared for the banters though,” he warned but he knew that she would do splendidly with the boys. She belongs to their category of weirdness so it’s really not a shocker if she belongs immediately to their group._

  
_“I wish I could make you meet my friends too for payback,” she pointed out after a childish groan. “Can I give you something else instead?” she pleaded desperately. “I can not meet them. They won’t like me. I’m awkward. I’m not socially equipped. I would say the wrong words and offend them accidentally. I would make a fool of myself.” She gave him her best puppy dog’s eyes._

  
_The tan boy tried with all his might to resist her eyes and he overcame them. “You have to be the first girl who said no to meeting One Direction,” he teased. “You’re going to be great,” he assured again, kissing her softly on the cheek._

  
_“You’re charming…” Zayn said but trailed of when Kerra rolled her eyes and it made him smile a little. “You are. You just don’t know. You don’t see yourself clearly at all.”_

  
_“That makes the two of us,” she retorted but knew she had lost this battle. Zayn slowly shook his head in disbelief how Kerra could never see herself as someone beautiful. Unlike him who embraces how handsome he was. It makes him smile thinking how gorgeous the boy, who looks back at him whenever he uses the mirror. But then his inner beauty isn’t that beautiful at all._

  
_“You believe in everything I say. But when I tell you you’re beautiful you won’t believe me,” Zayn accused and there was not a hint of blame at all._

  
_Kerra smiled cheekily that reminded Zayn of Harry, only that the girl didn’t have those perfect dimples. But she still looked pretty and well, mischievous. “You don’t kno-oh-ow. You don’t know you’re beautifu-oh-ool. That’s what makes you beautiful,” the girl sings with the cheeky smile still attached on her lips. It made Zayn chuckled and noticed that her voice wasn’t that bad. He would often hear her sing in the shower so he knows she got a nice voice._

  
_“Oh is that it?” he asked raising an eyebrow at her and kissing the tip of her nose. She nodded her head, grinning at him. “You’re beautiful. Every girl is,” he cups her face in his hands, “You lot just often forget it. But don’t you worry I’m here to remind you love.” He stooped his head down and kissed her._

  
          Kerra smiled to herself at how she spent her morning with Zayn. The boy never missed to charm her. He must be from Hogwarts, she told herself. She was now standing at her long mirror inside her room. It was already 6 in the evening and she needs to get to the gallery immediately to check if everything was ready.

  
          She did a little twirl making the skirt of the cocktail dress sway with her. It was a beautiful dress and she had called her family to thank them for it. She even posted a picture on her Facebook for her family to see her on it. The dress was simple yet elegant. The flowy chiffon skirt was up to her knees and the top ─ from her waist to the chest ─ was silk with black laces. And she got black high pumps that she fears would probably hurt later. She decided to side braid her raven straight hair but left a few tendrils to frame her face. She has little make up because she was never best friends with cosmetic.

  
        Looking at herself for the last time she was satisfied. She did look pretty decent tonight. No more skinny jeans, tees and sneakers but instead she was wearing a gorgeous blue dress and some killer heels. No more backpack tonight either because she found her old and small black satchel that seemed to be appropriate enough for the occasion. As she locked the door of her flat, after getting her black trench coat and wearing it, she faced the cold and busy street of London. She felt nervous thinking of what the night has in store for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

   “We’re going to be fine Paul,” Louis assured the big man when they arrived at the gallery exhibit. The five of them were wearing formal evening tux and looked dashing as if they came out from fashion magazines. “Liam is with us,” he reminded and tapped the man’s shoulder softly after giving the man a wink.

  
          “I know,” Paul grunted in defeat. The man wondered how can a twenty year old ─ almost twenty-one ─ boy could make a grown up man like him follow whims like this one. There was indeed no harm to the five boys going to this exhibit since it was exclusive and prestigious that makes them safe from screaming teenage girls. But of course he cannot help but worry about the boys, they were his responsibility. Not only that, but he has also considered them as his own sons. He doesn’t want them to get hurt which could happen if the boys were left alone with hormonal teenage girls who wants a piece of them.

  
          Paul and his team would be around the premises but of course the five would want a little space. He gave them last instructions on what to do if emergencies happen and checked if they all have their phones with them. When everything was ready he let the lads out of their reins.

  
          The boys hurriedly went inside the building where the exhibit had taken place. They don’t want to attract any attention before they get in. The building was said to be a personal little ─ it wasn’t little at all as the boys estimated ─ museum of a rich business man who have a great love for art. The design of the architecture was modern and the lads felt like they were really on an actual art museum.

  
          When they were inside they noticed that the crowd wasn’t much but enough for a gathering such as this one. There were lots of middle aged people and very teenage girls which makes them safe. It was their free day so as much as possible they wanted to forget work for a few blissful hours of mundane-ness.

  
          “So where is your _friend_ Zayn?” Louis inquired, eyeing Zayn suspiciously. “Heard your _friend_ was a she.” He raised an eyebrow at the tan boy that rolled his eyes at him. “Don’t worry mate, we won’t tell Perrie.” He smiled mischievously and winked at Zayn.

  
          “Louis,” says Liam, scandalized by the oldest boy’s statement. “We all know Zayn isn’t _kind_ of guy,” he defended a bit hurt for his friend. And Zayn wanted to be embarrassed because he was that _kind_ of guy. He saw Harry staring at him with the same guilty expression.

  
          “I know,” Louis said and rolled his eyes, unaffected by Liam’s remark. “I was just kidding Liam. Don’t take it too seriously Daddy,” he added patting Liam softly by the shoulder.

  
          “I’m hungry,” Niall complained and tugged Liam by his suit like a three year old. “You said they have food,” he whined to Zayn this time.

  
          “They do,” Liam replied pointing at a waiter-guy with a tray of finger foods that looked like shrimps. Niall was delighted and immediately went to the man and took the whole silver platter from the confused dude. The Irish lad came back to his friends happily not caring if he looks ridiculous with a tray. It has food and that’s all that matters to him.

  
          The other four chuckled at their blonde friend and burst into a laugh when a good looking man, in his early thirties, approach them to get some food from Niall’s tray and the lad shielded the platter with his body. The man was taken aback and his face was filled with confusion and shock especially with the blonde giving him the Don’t-You-Dare-Touch-My-Food look. The bachelor left the group dazed by how they acted, especially the shortest boy.

  
          “Silly man,” says Niall and snorted as he continued to chomp on his food. His four friends were still laughing beside him by how ridiculous the scene that took place a while ago.

  
          “Zayn,” someone called from a far. The girl was wearing a pretty blue cocktail dress and looked beautiful. Her eyes were dancing with joy but were only set on one person. Kerra was just happy to see that Zayn did make it.

  
          “Hey,” says Zayn shyly but the happiness in his eyes was unaffected. His friends saw how his eyes sparkled but didn’t say anything. Harry on the other hand felt a pang of jealousy towards the girl. Who is she? How can she make him smile like that? Were the questions that flooded his brain as he stare at the two.

  
          Louis cleared his throat to interrupt whatever it was happening between Zayn and his _friend_. He did it more actually because he saw the hurt and anger in Harry’s green eyes as the lad stared into the two friends that were somehow in their own little world.

  
          “Oh right,” Zayn said remembering that they weren’t alone. That his four best friends were actually with him. He and Kerra would have to be very careful tonight because he knew the boys would be watching. “Lads, this is my friend Kerra,” he introduced and motioned his hand to the girl. “Kerra, these are my mates. Louis. Liam. Niall. And Harry,” he said pointing each of the boys for the girl to recognize.

  
          “It’s nice to meet you,” she said and smiled shyly at the four new faces before her. She didn’t notice that she was blushing. They all seemed nice but what were they thinking about her? She wanted to know.

  
          “The pleasure is ours love,” Liam said and smiled back. He can sense her nervousness and wanted to ease it because to be honest there’s nothing to be worried about. She was beautiful ─ he has not met an ugly girl in his whole life because every girl was beautiful, in her own little way. But the question was: What’s her relationship with Zayn? The way they both looked at each other made him doubt his best friend.

  
          “Can I hug you?” Niall asked as if he was simply asking someone about the weather. The girl was surprised by the request because it was too bold but she couldn’t say no to such an adorable boy. Another thing she noticed that made her smile a little was that the blonde boy was holding a tray of food.

  
          “Sure,” she said and smiled sweetly at the Irish lad. Niall’s tray was empty so he passed it to a man who looked like the type to have trays. He did it not even minding the confuse expression of the man. With his hands free, he went and embraced the raven haired girl who giggled at him.

  
          “You smell good too,” he pointed out and grinned at the girl. It earned him a cute chuckle from the girl.

  
          “Thank you,” she said sweetly. Kerra wasn’t a big softy but she felt something inside her stir when she looks at Niall. He was very sweet and she can’t help but be charmed by the Irish boy. She hopes that the boy felt the same comfort towards her. She liked Niall and wanted to be friends with him.

  
          “I’m sorry,” Liam said embarrassed by Niall’s boldness towards Kerra. She might not be used to persons like Niall who are exaggeratedly friendly to others.

  
          “Don’t be,” she assured with a smile. She seemed to be smiling a lot with Zayn’s friends, she noticed. That’s a good sign right? “To be honest I’m very nervous right now and Niall’s hug helped,” she said and smiled at the Irish lad when she mentioned his name.

  
          “She likes me,” Niall stated matter-of-fact.

  
          “Everybody does Nialler,” Harry pointed out, speaking for the first time. Kerra noticed that his emerald eyes were on her and observing. She wanted to panic and ran away because she can’t handle the way the curly lad was looking at her as if trying to dig into her soul. A shiver ran down her spine and she flinched at how intense Harry was looking at her. She felt guilty like a criminal who got caught red handed.

  
          “So where’s your picture?” Liam asked the girl, getting her attention. He was oblivious to the way his best friend was frying her silently.

  
          “My pictures?” she asked, dazed by Harry’s onslaught. She was always composed and organized yet here she was cowering under a simple gaze ─ not even a glare ─ of a simple boy. All of her wits went six feet under and she doesn’t know what to do, yet again. Five pairs of different irises stared at her and were waiting for a response. “Of course,” she said hesitantly and wanted nothing but to run for her life because Harry was still giving her the same look. “And we can see the other images while we get to my corner,” she said and grabbed a glass of rum from a tray of drinks. She drank it immediately, suddenly needing alcohol to calm her system.

  
          “That’s not wine,” Zayn pointed out to the girl knowing she doesn’t drink alcohol except for wine. She knows though and regretted it because the drink burned down her throat. She hissed at the bitter taste of it and wondered why people drink beverages like this. Zayn was worried as he stared at the girl who gulped down the rum and her face twisted with the awful taste. “Are you alright?” he asked when she finished drinking the entire glass. He detected that he has been asking her the same question for so many times already since this morning.

  
          “Yeah,” she answered with a nod and smile. She was calmer now but kind of dizzy. She was a light drinker because she couldn’t stand too much alcohol. “Right this way,” she said leading the five lads to the displays.

  
          Kerra was like the boys’ very own guide inside the exhibit. They would stop at every picture and she would give a short information about the photographer. She would then ask them what do they think of the image and would agree with their answer or add more. Sometimes they would give funny remarks about the picture and Kerra would supply her own humorous comment. And one time she didn’t see that the photographer was right beside them giving her a death glare. But she didn’t care because she was laughing so hard with the lads.

  
          As they progress Harry warmed up to Kerra. But she can tell that he was still suspicious of her and Zayn. She and the tan boy were both in their best behavior that night as they make sure that they were never standing next to each other. They wouldn’t be able to help themselves if they have each other within reach. And they weren’t sure if their simple touches wouldn’t be obvious to Zayn’s observant band mates.

  
          The other four learns more about Kerra and she on the other hand asked them about their family or hobbies. She never asked them about their fame because she sure knows they’re sick of questions like that. She wasn’t a gossip interviewer but rather, she was applying to be their friend. She was sad to hear about Liam’s kidney, excited about Louis’ football games, amazed about Niall’s brilliant guitar skills, and chuckled at Harry’s dream of having a house full of cats. And at times a picture would remind one of the boys’ of his experience and they would all suddenly share their own story. She was having fun and the lads were happy to have her with them that night.

  
          They learned that Kerra was studying photography at London University and is living all by herself and she works part time at a photography studio. And on weekends she works at a library. So basically her life was cycled around studying, working, and photography.

  
          “Don’t you ever go out?” Louis asked with disbelief. Regular teenagers need to have a social life; meaning getting wasted by partying and getting pissed. It’s part of growing up. Even they find time to party no matter how tight their schedule was. As their song goes: Live While We’re Young.

  
          “To buy food,” she joked. And Niall winked at her, definitely agreeing. Food was a very good reason to go out.  
          “Funny,” says Louis and rolled his eyes. “Seriously though?”

  
          She shook her head. Serious this time. The four gave her a disbelief look and a I-Feel-Pity-For-You face. “Is it bad?” she asked biting her bottom lips. She new she was a socially awkward person but didn’t mind at all. Not until now that the lads had pointed it out.

  
          “You’re like Zayn,” Niall accused but it was too light to hurt anyone.

  
          “Like a girl version of Zayn,” Louis agreed after considering what Niall had said. He stared at the girl and registered that she has a lot of similarity to Zayn. They were both raven haired, tan, into art, and lazy to socialize. “You’re like twins. Who got separated from birth,” he stated. “Oh…plot twist! You’re twins but she got kidnapped by an alien then Edward Cullen came and rescued her. At first he wanted to suck her blood but felt pity for her. So instead he left her at the doorstep of a nice young couple who wanted to have a child,” he narrated and his face was so lit up his companions’ think they would go blind just by looking at him.

  
          “Aliens? Edward Cullen? Young couple?” Harry repeated making a face at his oldest best friend. “Could you at least find a less cliché story line? One where the genre is slice of life,” he suggested after rolling his eyes at Louis.

  
          “And since when did you become a critic Styles?” Louis retorted and glared at the youngest lad. “Just mind your own business.”

  
          “You’re part of my _business_ Tomlinson,” Harry replied and smiled seductively at Louis. The other brunet smiled back at him and added a wink for a more dramatic effect.

  
          “Ew!” Niall complained and made I’m-Disgusted face. “Get a room you two,” he suggested. “You fight and then it end up with flirtation. Kerra’s watching. This is Rated PG.”  They all laughed and knew the girl didn’t mind at all.

  
          “That was suppose to be Liam’s line,” says Harry. “He’s the Daddy Directioner. Right Dad?” he asked turning to the sandy haired boy that only nod at him.

  
          They were almost at the end of the exhibit now and Kerra was internally screaming for a miracle to happen that they won’t reach the end. Maybe she could lie to them and point someone else’s work as her own.

  
          “Oh my God!” one girl screamed as she head towards their group. “You’re One Direction right?” she asked the lads as she was face to face with them. The five nodded and Kerra wanted to disappear. “I’m Stacy by the way. Kerra’s classmate,” she informed and gave the tan girl a meaningful look.

  
          Stacy was wearing a black tight dress with skirt clinging above her knees, emphasizing her long white legs. She was very beautiful and belonged to the super fit category. In his head, Zayn graded her as a Friday.

  
          “Hello,” says Liam and doesn’t know what to do next. But he can tell that Stacy and Kerra weren’t close because the tan girl looked nervous under the pale girl’s stares. Is Stacy bullying Kerra then? If that’s the case Liam doesn’t like the pale girl at all because he doesn’t like people who bullies other.

  
          “I never knew you’re friends with One Direction,” Stacy said to Kerra. But before the tan girl could answer and explain herself, Stacy turned to the lads already and acted like Kerra does not exist anymore. “What brought you here?” she asked the lads and smiled sweetly at them as if she had been eating too much candies that it even affected her smile.

  
          “To see Kerra’s work,” Louis answered politely, not missing the way Stacy had ignored Kerra. He didn’t like this new girl but he would be civilized. He couldn’t stop his reaction when the pale girl made a face after hearing their reason of coming to the exhibit. The look she gave was filled with resentment that her eyes weren’t able to hide.

  
          “Is that so,” she said sweetly like she was touched by the lads’ effort. But they all knew she wasn’t. “I’ll take you there. Just to be sure,” she offered and though her voice sounded loving, her eyes was mocking.

  
          “That would be lovely,” Louis said and beamed the girl a smile that almost made her faint. Louis fucking Tomlinson just smiled at her and Stacy would absolutely tell everyone she knows that Louis smiled at her. Maybe he was hitting on her. Then she remembered that he has a girlfriend. She doesn’t care about Eleanor though. Louis could just be pretending to love Eleanor for all she knows. “But aren’t you busy?”

  
          “No,” she answered immediately and tried to calm her erratic heart. “I would be honored to accompany you,” she added and showed her megawatt smile again.

  
          The boys knew they couldn’t get rid of the rude pale girl so might as well go with it. They felt pity for Kerra though because she grew quiet and just tagged along behind them. Stacy did all the talking, asking them about their new album and their coming up tour. She even shared how much she loves their music and watched their every interview. They were happy of course that Stacy was a passionate fan. But what they weren’t happy at how she treated Kerra. It’s one thing to be a good fan and another to be a good fan and person at the same time. Sad thing that Stacy was the former.

  
          “Here we are,” Stacy announced but all the happiness left her voice. “Kerra’s photographs.”

  
          The boys were all speechless, especially Zayn. There was not one picture but five and they were on black and white. The first picture was of two hands intertwined together in a grip that wasn’t firm or too loose. The second was eyes closing with long beautiful lashes that looked like they were kissing the high cheekbones of the owner. The third picture was the contour of someone’s neck and shoulder, the kind that makes you want to suck the skin to leave a mark. The fourth picture was a side torso of a male model showing some of the chiseled abs that he possessed. And the last picture was the relaxed lips of the male model and his beautiful jawlines that were sharp enough to cut through anything.

  
          They were all very elegant and oozed the spirit of admiration and love. But in a sense they were bold pictures and there’s something voyeuristic about them. It was art though so there was no malice about nudity.

  
          “Have you seen my photos?” Stacy asked breaking the silence of the group. She didn’t like the way the lads admired Kerra’s works. She thinks she did a more splendid job than the tan girl. Her works were wonderful indeed. She had captured the beauty of the city’s night life with two amazing pictures that she was very proud of. But suddenly her phone buzzed with a text message from her friend telling her that Mr. Bennet, one of the richest men that evening, wanted to see her immediately.

  
          Frustrated by the news, but could not hinder because this was her future that was calling her, Stacy bid the group goodbye after giving Kerra a We’ll-Talk-Soon look. The tan girl pretended not to see as she looked away from the leaving pale girl. It only annoyed Stacy more that Kerra wasn’t cooperating with her. But the pale girl knows Kerra won’t get away with it.

  
          “Are these all pictures of Zayn?” Harry asked Kerra when the six of them were all alone. His question didn’t sound accusing at all just filled with curiosity.  Zayn on the other hand was still processing the pictures before him. It was indeed him because he knows his own body better than anyone else.

  
          Kerra only nodded not trusting her voice because she was very nervous with five quizzical pair of eyes staring at her. She felt like she was on a courtroom as a witness with the jury trying to find out if she was telling the true story of the crime that had happened. And her juries were Zayn’s four gorgeous best friends that had grown on her with their charm and friendliness. All night long she had been anticipating a crash and was it happening now?

  
          The reaction she saw from the boys was mostly curiosity. The four eyes’ were questioning her and she doesn’t have a believable lie in her head to cover her up. She felt like strangers to them again but of course not to Zayn. She can tell that he was proud of her work.

  
          Zayn was her inspiration. The parts she took were her favorite body parts of the boy. Zayn’s hands and fingers that she trusts so much because she knew they would protect her. Zayn’s torso where her hands had found strength to hold on whenever she felt weak. Zayn’s eyes that never judged her for her imperfections. Zayn’s neck and shoulder where she rests her head for comfort whenever she felt tired. And lastly his lips and jawbones that were both contradicting each other but works perfectly together.  Lips that are soft and kisses away her worries and jawbones that are hard but enough to let her know she can lean on him. His body was her sanctuary, a place where she finds everything she needs: comfort, strength, beauty, and love.

  
          “They are so intimate,” Niall commented looking at the pictures again. He sounded like a real critic and that serious look on his face made him look like one too. But he remained adorable and cute. The kind of critic that mostly gives positive criticism and even when he does give negative ones, he would still be loved. “They are very beautiful. Believe me they are. But intimate as well,” he said sounding mature for the first time.

  
          “I have to agree with Niall,” says Liam but only staring at the photos. He was studying them again and was trying to decode the hidden message behind each of the pictures like they did with the other images they had passed by. A masterpiece is an artist’s expression of his or her feelings. What could be running through Kerra’s mind when she took these pictures of Zayn? Liam wondered.

  
          “What exactly is your relationship with Zayn?” Louis asked boldly unable to hold back his curiosity and wanted to know the truth because he knows there’s more to Kerra and Zayn than they both show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

“ _We’re meeting the Queen?_ ” Niall repeated in disbelief and let the thought sink in. Never in his life had he dreamt of the day he will able to meet the most powerful person in Great Britain and one of the most powerful human being in the world. It sounds so surreal. The blonde boy pinched himself just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming and it was all so real. Since their One Direction journey, Niall had this weird habit of checking of his reality because he might just be asleep all along. He would be heartbroken if this was all indeed but a mere dream, a creative imagination of his brilliant brain.

  
          “Yes Niall,” Paul confirmed smiling smugly. He was proud of the boys. He might not get to meet the Queen himself but if the lads will, he would feel he had met the Queen as well. “It would be on the twentieth of November so you lads better be ready,” he repeated proudly. “So no funny business before that,” he warned, giving the lads his best death glare but who was he kidding? When the boys were looking at him like little children who’s listening to their Dad it just melt his heart. And he has a very soft spot for Niall who at the moment looks like a hopeful three year old. Can you death glare a face like that?

  
          “Then after that you lads are going to the States,” Paul informed for the third time that afternoon. He was staring at Harry who winced again at the news. And the man can understand why the curly lad wasn’t so excited for their trip to America this time around. Harry would fake date Taylor and the lad doesn’t like that nor does Paul but the management had given their orders and nobody has a say on it.

  
          Harry didn’t like the idea of going out ─ even if it wasn’t real ─ with Taylor Swift. What would the fans, his close friends, and his Mum think and say? And specifically what would Zayn think? Why does he always have to care what Zayn thinks anyway? He scolded himself for even entertaining the thoughts his brain was producing. He was sure that his mind was totally broken.

  
          “And of course your girlfriends are coming too,” Paul told the three taken lads. Liam frowned, not trusting the notion. Danielle had been suffering too much because of his popularity. The innocent girl gets tons of hate from some of their fans and she doesn’t deserve it. Danielle is handling the situation coolly but Liam can tell it was slowly eating her. Lately she’s been not herself at all. Always fidgety and on the edge. She said that she doesn’t care what people say but of course she does. She doesn’t believe them but it just hurt sometimes to know how people look at you. And Liam hates the fact that his girlfriend is having insecurity problems because of him.

  
          Danielle was one of best thing that happened to Liam’s life and now she’s breaking apart. He couldn’t do anything but watch and sometimes it pains him even more if he sees her crying. It was a painful thing to do, watch the love of your life cry. But it was more painful because you know you’re the reason why she was crying. Liam had made Danielle cry accidentally and he doesn’t know how to make it stop from happening over and over again.

  
        He had thought of breaking up with her instead to end her suffering. But would that really stop Danielle’s pain? Would it give Liam the peace he wants for the girl he loves? What if it would break her even more? What if it would break him too? Instead of saving themselves they would even end up killing what’s left of who they are.

  
        _Babe,” Liam whispered into Danielle’s ear as they were cuddling on Liam’s couch. The telly was off because they were not in the mood to watch. Being in each other’s arms was comfort enough that they no longer need of anything in the world in that moment._

  
        _“ Hmm…” Danielle responded lazily that made Liam chuckled shaking them both off of their steady stupor._

  
        _Liam placed a soft kissed on the side of her forehead making her smile. The boy noticed how lovely Danielle’s hair smelled. Like strawberry. He would never get tired of the soft body next to him and hopefully she will never get tired of him too. “I love you,” he whispered lovingly. He doesn’t have to look into her eyes to let her know that he meant it because the sound of his voice was assurance enough._

  
        _“I love you too,” she answered as loving as Liam had spoken it. Danielle loves his boyfriend very much. Even minus the fame he was in right now. How can she not love Liam? He was the kindest, sweetest, most caring, and most loving boyfriend in the world. He was both funny and serious at the right time. He’s such a child at heart that makes him even more beautiful. He was also simple and well, Liam’s just perfect. The classic English gentleman, as Danielle often pictured him._

  
        _“How are you?” Liam asked suddenly, out of the blue. And Danielle knew what he meant by the question. They have discussed this before. A lot._

  
        _“I’m fine,” she answered but the assertion is too weak to comfort her boyfriend._

  
        _“Since when did you learn to lie?” Liam asked with a frown._

  
        _“I’m fine,” she assured again and pulled herself closer to the boy as if there was even a chance they could be separated with their body intertwined in the most tangled way possible._

  
        _“I’m sorry,” the sandy haired boy muttered sadly and kissed his girlfriend’s hair. He wondered why is it when it comes to the people he loves, he was incompetent. How he wished he was strong enough to protect her from the world and all the hate that she should not have received, if she wasn’t with him. But he could not imagine a life without Danielle in it. It wouldn’t be life at all._

  
        _The girl didn’t reply but looked up to him and kissed him softly like the first time. And it did feel like the first time. Sweet and soft kisses like this one are Liam’s favorite. “Don’t be,” Danielle said staring into Liam’s chocolate brown eyes. It was a bit dark but she knew they were staring back at her too._

  
        _“How did I get to be so lucky?” Liam said and the girl giggled, blushing deeply that he didn’t get to see because of the lack of light. He kissed her this time. It was a thank you kiss. He was grateful that she wasn’t leaving. But until when is she going to believe when he promises that he’s coming back to her? “Danielle,” he called again and the girl knew he was serious if he uses her name._

  
        _“Yes babe?” she asked curiously. But she can feel the tension in his beautiful voice. If only there was something she can do to calm him down even for now._

  
        _“Just tell me if you’ve had enough, yeah?” Liam said and his voice was dripping with sadness. “I know you didn’t sign up for a relationship like this one. So in case you’ve changed your mind just tell me okay? I don’t want you to hold on and get hurt.”_

  
        _“Liam,” Danielle started, getting serious herself. “Yes, I didn’t sign up for this kind of relationship but I would be willing to sign in if it meant to be with you.” She kissed him on the jaw because she couldn’t reach his lips. “I’ll hold on for you Liam James Payne.” Liam smiled and felt as if he was on cloud nine._

  
        _The lad wondered how other people cannot see what a wonderful girl was Danielle. She was sweet, humble, understanding, and pretty. She was beautiful, inside and out. It was actually him who does not deserve a girl like her and not the other way around as people see it. Danielle had been with him from the start and still supports him even after all those controversies the public had thrown at them. He couldn’t ask for someone else because she was the best._

  
        “Does it mean Payzer can come out again?” Louis asked curiously at Paul. “They’re supposed to have broken up, right?”

  
        “But they never did,” Niall disagreed with a frown. He was a big fan of Team Payzer because he was happy for Liam. He loved the way Danielle could make Liam smile like a little kid on Christmas morning. Niall knew that Liam had a tough life of always being bullied before and to top it off the sandy haired boy was rejected by the same girl 22 times. That was the cruelest thing ever because how could you not love Liam Payne? The boy should have a photo next to Gandhi and Mother Teresa on the ‘Kindest People on Earth Hall Of Fame’. Niall liked Danielled because she loves Liam the way that the boy should be loved. Someone who should never be taken for granted.

  
        “Right,” Harry agreed, brows furrowed as if in deep thought. “Publicity stunts are just messy. Why do we have to them anyway?”

  
        “So there’s something the media and people can talk about,” Zayn answered bluntly like he was discussing what he had for lunch. He stared at Harry who had a disbelief look on his face. Then Zayn turned to Liam. “It was for the better though. At least some of the trolls left her alone.” Liam gave him a small smile. “How is she anyway?”

  
        “She’s doing well,” Liam answered with satisfaction. Danielle was indeed doing well. She was now focusing on her dancing rather than watching her back for any crazed fan to attack her. She spends less time on the internet because now she doesn’t have to know what people thinks of her. The first few days of the assumption of the Payzer break up, Danielle found it hard to stay away from the internet because she wanted to see the reaction of the masses.

  
        Most of the fans were sad about the sinking of the Payzer ship and they even promised to continue shipping it even after the break up. It touched Danielle and surprised her as well because she never expected to get this kind of feedback from the fans. But of course there was still a lot of hate that was sent to her. They said that she was a bitch for letting go of Liam and said that she just used the singer for her own advantage. It hurt but she shoved it off knowing it was going to stop now.

  
        The hates did stop. Most of it. But at least it wasn’t that worse now. Danielle can now go back to being her without being judged so harshly. The spotlight can be good, but sometimes you either get blinded by it that you lose yourself or you get burn from it that often hurts. She was back into the darkness but she can still see because Liam was still with her. Maybe not in the darkness, but his light shines so bright that it even reaches the dark corner where she was. And it was very comforting that even at Liam’s distance, Danielle knows he’s always within reach.

  
        “If the management wanted publicity why don’t we just reveal how real Larry Stylinson is?” Niall suggested as he noticed Louis and Harry eye-talking to each other again. He can’t help but adore his two best friends, who most of the time has a world of their own, which he finds really awesome.

  
        Louis laughed out loud and Harry looked at Niall like the blonde boy went mental suddenly. “Maybe we should just make Zarry real,” Louis contradicted in between laugh. “Larry is too obvious.” He winked at the youngest lad. “Zarry would surprise everyone. It’s like the nuclear bomb.” Louis ignored the death glare Harry sent him. Zayn just blushed quietly and the oldest member didn’t miss it.

  
        “I disagree,” Niall announced with a pout. “I’m a Ziall shipper.”

  
        They all laughed at their cutest member. And somehow they were all thankful that the atmosphere around the room changed. They never liked being serious. Louis would definitely be the first one to object seriousness.

  
        “But our ship is doing so good Nialler,” Liam cooed trying very hard not to laugh at the confused Niall. The Irish lad looked super adorable when he was in a dilemma. “Would you choose a vain person like Zayn over me?” Liam batted his lashes at the blonde boy exaggeratedly.

  
        “Hey,” Zayn reacted. “I’m not vain,” he defended and glared at Liam. “You of all people Liam should know that I am not like that. And how could you say such cruel thing?” Zayn acted hurt.

  
        “I didn’t mean to tell the truth Zee,” Liam amended but the sarcasm was there. They all smiled at each other at how weird they all are when they try a little role playing of their own.

  
        “So are you and Danielle publicly back then?” Louis asked again, remembering that his question wasn’t answered. They all looked at Liam but the boy just shrugged at them. All five pair of eyes was now on Paul. And the man just nodded at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

_“What exactly is your relationship with Zayn?” Louis asked boldly unable to hold back his curiosity and wanted to know the truth because he knows there’s more to Kerra and Zayn than they both show._

  
_“We’re uhm…” Kerra begun and looked at Zayn for help but he was looking at his shoes at the moment. “Cousins.” She smiled as if it was enough to convince the other four lads._

  
_“Cousins?” Louis repeated incredulously. He wasn’t convinced._

  
_“Very distant cousin,” Kerra added in a tone that didn’t falter to make it more convincing. But it was indeed the truth. Or maybe just half of it. “But we always see each other at family reunions and affairs.”_

  
_“How come he never talks of you?” Liam questioned with a raised eyebrow at the girl then at Zayn._

  
_“There weren’t any good memories I guess,” she answered sadly and wondered why she felt bad about not having good memories with Zayn. The boy does not have any memory of her that is worth remembering. She would be like those other girls in his life but he would be the most amazing boy in hers._

  
_“No wonder you look alike,” Niall commented, satisfied. He turned to Zayn who decided not to speak. “Why didn’t you say she was your cousin Z?” Niall asked at the tan boy confusedly._

  
_Blue orbs meet brown ones and Zayn couldn’t form a good excuse in his head. Maybe because he never wanted to be related to her and spoil the chances of dating her. Or maybe because in his head they were just friends and nothing more._

  
_“It’s a private joke,” Kerra answered on Zayn’s behalf seeing that the boy could not find the correct lie to say. “I use to be his date on school activities in the past so his friends wouldn’t tease him.” She giggled for effects at the lie she was saying. “He was used at me being his friend that he often forgets we’re actually family.”_

  
_“That’s harsh mate,” Liam scolded at Zayn but it sounded like sympathy instead. “She’s not just a friend mate. She’s family. The same blood runs in your veins.” He sighed with relief. “Now that it’s clear I think we ought to enjoy the evening now.” He smiled at them all and Liam wasn’t the only one who felt relieved that evening, but also the curly lad._

  
          Harry recalled that night over and over again like there was something wrong with it. Something just wasn’t right. Yes, he was relaxed by the fact that Kerra was Zayn’s distant cousin but he was still jealous of the girl. And the worst part is that he cannot believe that he was jealous of some girl over Zayn. He should be trying to make her fall for him instead, not because he wants her, but for her to stay away from the tan boy.

  
          The youngest member of the band ran his hand through his hair unable to believe where his brain was heading. He shouldn’t be bother by Zayn’s relationship right now because he has a Taylor Swift problem that needs to be solved. He needs to find a way around this issue and now he doesn’t have any tactics at hand which annoys him completely. He prays to the gods that Taylor is also against this fake dating thing so that they could help each other come up with a brilliant plan to stop this catastrophic idea from The Management.  
                                                                                                                                       

 

                         **

  
          “You’re meeting the Queen?” Perrie asked incredulously at her boyfriend when he stopped by her and Jade’s flat one afternoon. It had been three days since she and Zayn had seen each other. The last time was during that night when she asked him if he was cheating on her which he denied. Zayn told her that he would never do such an evil thing to her because he loves her very much. Perrie believed her boyfriend of course. Why would Zayn lie to her anyway? She was at his disposal because the boy can definitely get any girl he wants and yet he chose her.

  
          “Yes,” Zayn confirmed smiling at his girlfriend who looked really surprised and proud at the same time. She looks like a kid when her face is glowing with happiness, one of the reasons why he loves Perrie. She wasn’t hard to please unlike any other girls who need the whole world at the palm of their hands in order to be happy. “We’re meeting her this November 20.”

  
          “And then you’re going to perform at the Madison Square Garden arena on December,” she chirped excitedly. “I’m so happy for you and the lads. Everything is perfect and I know I should envy you or maybe get jealous because that only meant you would be spending less time with me but I can’t. I’m in cloud nine right now.” Perrie was talking too fast again and Zayn didn’t mind at all because she looked really happy and excited. Her aura seems to affect him because he felt glad as well. “Do you want to dine out?” she asked seriously but the glow in her eyes cannot be hidden away.

  
          “Yes,” Zayn answered with a nod and a smile. It has been a long time since they went out together. They are often indoors to be away from public eye because they both prefer it. They’re on the spotlight for so many hours every day that it can be a little tiring. “Do you want to go Nando’s?” he teased.

  
          Perrie giggled and hit Zayn playfully on the shoulder. “Am I Niall?” she asked putting her hands on her chest and acted as if she was hurt.

  
          “No,” he answered and cannot help but smile. “I just thought it’s a blonde thing,” he added and chuckled at Perrie’s look of disbelief.

  
          “Since when do you do stereotyping Malik?” she questioned with a raised eyebrow but a crooked smile was playing on her lips.

  
          “Well, I just thought that was the case since you’re both blonde,” he explained still smiling. “What do I know anyway? And besides you might have some Irish blood in you and that would clearly explain it.”

  
          “You horrible man,” Perrie exclaimed incredulously and playfully hit Zayn on the shoulder again. She wanted to pretend that she was angry, but with Zayn laughing like that before her she couldn’t do so. His laugh is so majestic that she has forgotten that she was suppose to be mad at him. In the end she joined Zayn’s laughter and couldn’t find anything funny at all to be worth chuckling about.

  
          “I wish I could make you laugh like this every single day,” Zayn said suddenly that halted Perrie’s laughter because now her stomach was filled with butterflies and her heart was beating hard in her chest. It was an out of the blue statement but it felt so right.

  
          Unable to find the right words to say because Perrie was totally speechless and caught by surprised once again by her beloved boyfriend, she tip toed and placed a gentle kiss on Zayn’s lips. The boy’s arms automatically pulled her closer by the waist to support her and as if it was in her nature to wrap her arms around his neck to deepen their kiss even more. It was basically instinct that governs them at moments like this when no words were spoken. To Perrie it was one of the best seconds of her life because it was the one of the times that it felt magical. When you did not ask for anything to happen then something did and it just melted into one perfect moment that makes you feel as if you were infinite. This was one of those moments, one that she would cherish forever and would never be forgotten even through the test of times.

  
          “I think dinner can wait,” Zayn murmured against Perrie’s lips and the girl just smiled at him. As their eyes locked together they saw the lust that screams from each other’s orbs and that was enough indication what should come next.  
          “I think so too,” Perrie agreed. And Zayn immediately crushed his lips back to the blonde girl who kissed him back as hard as he was kissing her. Zayn pushed his tongue inside Perrie’s mouth and the girl did not put up a fight at all. She let the boy explore his mouth as she tasted him in hers.

  
          Upper pieces of clothing were suddenly on the floor and with the two only breaking their heated kiss of a short moment when they have to take off their shirts. Perrie was starting to unbuckled Zayn’s belt as they move towards her room upstairs. She didn’t even know how they managed climbing the stairs as they kiss. The next thing she knew she was being pushed against the door only in her bra and panties because somehow along the way Zayn was able to, in a very fast pace, remove the rest of her garments which was merely a tee and a mini shorts.

  
          It was cold since it was in the middle of November but the temperature inside the room was the total opposite of the temperature outside. Feeling Zayn’s bare chest across her almost naked top was enough to make Perrie’s head spin. She whimpered in frustration when the warm lips left her but then moaned when the boy begun trailing rough kisses down her neck to her bare breast. Should she be bothered that she did not notice her bra being removed? Her thoughts got clouded when perfect lips were sucking her right breast while the left one was being massaged ─ in the most erotic way she had ever been touched.

  
          Moan and a few curses left Perrie’s lips as she was touched and sucked by Zayn. She had to hold on unto the doorknob as she felt her knees turned into jellies with the ecstasy she was feeling. She often forgets what Zayn could do with those gorgeous lips and wonderful hands of his.

  
          “Perrie!” Jade shouted from downstairs that froze the couple. Zayn looked up to Perrie and the blonde girl was blushing severely as if they were caught doing the act. Technically they weren’t caught on the act but in Perrie’s head there was no difference.

  
          “I know you’re here,” Jade announced loudly and the heels of her shoes can be heard as she was climbing the stairs. “This is an emergency. We gotta go because the photo shoot yesterday didn’t impress the management.” The couple stared at each other and does not have any idea what they should do. “Perrie?” Jade called now from outside the door.

  
          “Hey,” Perrie greeted her flat and band mate as she opened her door. She was wearing a huge T-shirt she saw on the floor and Zayn was topless behind her. The boy was looking everywhere except Jade’s narrowing eyes.

  
          “I’m so sorry,” Jade muttered as she figured out what was happening between the two. Instead of being embarrass for disturbing, Jade found herself bursting into laughter. The couple glared at her but she paid them no attention. “I’m awfully sorry,” she said again when she stopped laughing but the lovers didn’t believe her. “I really am. It’s just that… I’ve never walked in you like this before. This has to be the first and might be the last since you’re very conservative about this kind of things,” she explained to Perrie.

  
          The blonde girl blushed even more at Jade’s statement and couldn’t help but be annoyed that she was horribly shy about things like this when her friend on the other hand was very open. Jade would even sometimes describe her one night stands, not that there are a lot, but compared to Perrie who lost her virginity to Zayn and has practically never slept with anyone else but the tan boy.

  
          “I think this is my cue to leave,” Zayn said when both girls went silent. Perrie turned to him with sad eyes and a sigh. “It’s okay.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll take you out to dinner tomorrow to celebrate,” he promised that made the blonde girl smiled. He placed a peck on her lips and told her goodbye. On his way out he gathered his pieces of clothing and put them on.

  
          Now what should he do with his hard on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

    Zayn had rung the door bell a thousand of times and nobody answered. He decided to use his spare key instead to get into Kerra’s flat. He wasn’t trespassing or anything. He already felt like the girl’s flat is his own as he was spending too much time there. Unlocking the door he peeped in inside to see if the girl was asleep and Zayn has to say that the girl sleeps like a dead person. You can butcher a whole pig beside her and she still won’t wake up.

  
          “Kerra?” he called as opened the door widely to let himself in. He was then bombarded by a flat with white sheets on every piece of furniture. His heart fell on the floor and he could hear it breaking into pieces but felt to numb to be able to do something rather than just be frozen. His eyes scanned the room and he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The flat wasn’t big and as you enter you would be welcomed by the small dining table near the kitchen and on your left was the small living room. Eleven o’clock of you as you enter the small abode was the only door that leads to the single bedroom with a loo.

  
          Zayn saw two boxes on top of the dining table that has his name written largely across it. Are those his things that he had left behind? Is this really true? Is it really happening? And on top of the brown colored box was a folded letter. The distance wasn’t much but it felt like forever had passed when Zayn managed to get to the table. His heart had a hard time beating and his whole body seemed to have lost every ounce of life. His eyes got blurry and he knew the tears were coming next. Is this one of the times in his life that he would break into tears? He can count the times it happened with his fingers this one would count if he does cry.

  
          He stared at the white folded paper for a while as if it contained his eviction notice. He felt like it was the X-Factor all over again and it wasn’t a nice feeling at all. That piece of paper holds the answer to the question that has been going inside his head since the realization sunk in. Did Kerra really left him? Why would she leave? What did he do wrong? Is this the end of everything between them? What were they to begin with? When did she plan all of this since it’s only been less than three days? All those questions and more kept forming inside his head and he wanted to end his torture.

  
          It shouldn’t be that heavy, but for Zayn that simple piece of paper weighed more than planet Earth. Just touching the paper itself was hard enough for him as if he was being electrified as he lifts the paper from the top of the closed box. He was scared to know what it says but desperate at the same time to know what it holds. He felt sick in his stomach as he starts to unfold the bloody little thing that ─ if only could talk ─ must be laughing at him for being such a chicken.

  
          His breathe was caught in his throat as he swallowed hard as his eyes begun to read the blasted letter that Kerra had left for him. It was hand written by her and Zayn wanted to be angry at the girl for not even telling him goodbye in person. At least that would have been better. But would it? Does it lessen the pain of separation if that’s what Kerra did? The pain in his chest was unbearable that he wants it over with so reads the letter instead.  
  
        _My dearest Zayn,_  
 _How are you today? I hope you’ve been doing well because I am._  
  
          For the first time in his life Zayn doesn’t know what to do. Should he laughed at how calmly Kerra was talking to him like this was no big deal? Or should he be angry that she was acting as if it was really no big deal? Couldn’t find the right emotion he carried on.  
  
          _To be honest I didn’t know where to start. I don’t know what to say exactly. This is hard. Really hard. You just can’t imagine the pain I am dealing with right now. And the hardest part was I don’t know how to tell you. I couldn’t find the words to speak so you would understand and so you won’t get hurt._  
  
          So it was goodbye then. And now, it did hurt him. There was indeed no words to save him from this wretched feeling he has in his guts. No words of comfort to make him feel okay because it was clear that this is the end of the night for the _them_ he was curiously finding out if it really exists. Now he won’t be able to know the answer to his question. Or maybe he will.  
  
          _Everything was perfect. It was, believe me. But of course nothing lasts forever. We aren’t even going to be forever young. What we had was nothing but a fragment of what’s going to happen in the future. Your future that, I am hoping and praying, would be very bright and fruitful. I couldn’t ask for more of what we had. That would be selfish of me to keep you all to myself._  
  
          His future didn’t look too bright at all. Not with one of the person he cared, out of the picture. If everything was perfect then why does she have to leave? Isn’t it supposed to be that humans tend to run away if things started crumbling down? Why is she leaving when he was shining his brightest? He shook his head in disbelief as he remembered that Kerra wasn’t human. Or she was hoping she wasn’t and never wanted to act like everyone else in the world.  
  
          _I wish you well and all the happiness the world can offer. We might not be able to see each other again and I would prefer it that way because we’re a mere part of each other’s past. And like I always say, ‘Past is a good place to visit but not a good place to stay.’ You might also hate for not saying goodbye to you in person but we both know we couldn’t do that. It would either end up in a wreck or awkwardness._  
  
          Misty eyed Zayn smiled at how Kerra still knows him. She must be a fortune teller to be able to sense of what’s about to come. He wished he had that intuition too so he could have seen this coming. What he would then if he knew? Should he have stopped her? Or would he happily let her go?  
  
          _I would never forget you Zayn. You might forget me but you will always stay in my heart. You’ve been part of my life and nothing could ever change that fact. I would also cherish the little things that you let me see and know. How you never wanted sugar in your tea but two teaspoon of milk. The way you ran your hands through your hair when you’re nervous and impatient. Your smile that can brighten even the gloomiest days and continued to shine through a sky filled with clouds. Your brows furrowing perfectly when you’re only deciding on what to eat for breakfast that makes you look like you have the whole weight of the world on your shoulder. I would miss the feel of your hands on mine that assures me, I’m not alone. The way your eyes sparkles at the simplest of things in life that for some holds no worth, but you can definitely see the beauty through it. Your simplicity amazes me and I often wonder why they often call you vain. Sleeping is your greatest love and I could not comprehend why you prefer dreaming when you are already living the dream. I would miss you so much Zayn that even now as I write this I’m missing you already. But I guess this is for the best._  
  
          Now Zayn’s the one not comprehending any of it. If she would miss him then why does she have to take herself out of his life? Can’t they just stay in touch even just to know if the other is breathing enough oxygen to keep living? He found it amusing that she had noticed tons of stuff about him.  
  
 _P.S._  
 _It wasn’t you Zayn. It was me. I think you deserve someone better._  
  
          What a cliché line to end a letter. Now it sounded like a break up when they weren’t even together to begin with. The worst part was that none of his questions were answered. Why did she left? Because she thought she doesn’t deserve him? She knows him better than that. And why would she mention all those things she had observed about him? To make him realize that she was paying enough attention to him? Zayn was even more confused than enlightened. But one thing was for sure at that moment:  Kerra was out of his life.

  
          That simple truth ached and he doesn’t know if he can handle that pain. Maybe he can because he’s been through a lot. This had to be one of the worst though because he knew he could have done something to make her stay. But then again you can never force someone to stay, only that you could give them reason to do so. Has he given Kerra enough reason to stay? He treated her like shit by using her when he had a girlfriend. She doesn’t complain, he reasoned out. But it doesn’t mean it was okay, his other side of the brain contradicted.

  
          It was now all too late to do something to make Kerra change her mind. She was gone. Not just out-of-town kind of gone. She’s forever gone. She was never coming back and that was something he should start getting used to. There would be no one to run to when he felt tired with the rest of the world. No one to read the words left unspoken by his lips on certain occasions. He simply didn’t lose a friend or a family member; to Zayn he lost a part of himself. A part of him that he never understood but helped him exist.

  
          He’s going back to the basics now that his patterns are all messed up by the sudden change. It might take a while and would hurt a lot but he would get over it. Eventually. Or he may not but he could pretend he was getting over everything. This won’t be the first time he’s going to lie to the rest of the world and to himself. Learning that he does need to move on is a start for him to carry on with his life. A life where Kerra no longer exist and no more cheating on Perrie. But then there’s the feelings for Harry that he needs to shove at the back of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

    Zayn went back to his flat with a sunken heart and didn’t feel like going to their rehearsals that night. Maybe he should call Liam and tell the boy that he was sick because he really wasn’t in the mood to do anything that night rather than sleep. And he hopes that maybe when he wakes up everything is nothing but a bad nightmare. He might just find himself waking up next to the small body he ached for so much.

  
          The doorbell suddenly rings and Zayn groaned with frustration as who could be bothering him at 9PM. It was a little bit late for someone to visit. It was his mailman, who greeted him with a smile and an apology for the late intrusion. The old bloke handed him a white envelop and told him that the sender personally wanted the mail to be given at nine in the evening. It was a special delivery. After handing the letter to Zayn the mailman left, leaving the tan boy confused but he was till broken hearted.

  
          Uninterested by the letter Zayn decided to read it tomorrow for it may hold more bad news than good news. But as he was about to put it on his bed side table he saw his name written at the back of the letter in Kerra’s handwriting. He must have not looked closely at the envelop because he didn’t notice the writing on it.

 

  
_Zayn_

  
          Those four little letters should have held nothing more for Zayn but he felt his heart swarmed with happiness, longing, anger, sadness, and pain. His beating organ was confused as he was, on what to feel that very moment as he stared into that one word on the white envelop. His right hand automatically reached for it but stopped at mid air because a part of his brain ordered him to. But of course the bigger part of his head won and he found himself opening the closed envelop. Hands were shaking in anticipation and fear for what could be inside that simple piece of paper.

  
          The ruined envelop fell on the floor and the thin sheet of paper was left in Zayn’s trembling hands. He took a deep breath before he unfolded the second letter for that night and in his head he beat himself because he was being a masochist. But his curiosity got the better of him and this would definitely sting later, he didn’t care at all. Zayn wanted to know if this letter holds the answer to his questions that were left unresolved.

  
_Dearest Zayn,_   
_At this time you must be at your house and I’m not sure if you’re missing me like I’m missing you._

  
          There were only a few times in their time together that Zayn got mad at Kerra for ─ well, the most common reason why girls and boys argue. And this was one of those times. This time though Zayn wanted to strangle the raven haired girl and tell her how stupid she is for inflicting this great amount of pain on him. Since when did she become sadistic anyway?

  
          _Fear not. Or maybe mope not. For I didn’t really left. ^_^_

  
          It was official, Zayn’s going to crazy with confusion. What in the world does Kerra meant by that now?

  
          _Technically, I did. As you read this letter I’m on the plane flying to the States to attend a convention. And yes, this was a payback for making me meet your best friends._

  
          Zayn didn’t know if he should be relieved or angry at how Kerra had tricked him. He found himself howling with laughter at how devious the girl had been. This was a harsh payback and he couldn’t find in his heart of heart to be mad at the girl at all because he knew he had done worst to her. Tears were brimming at the side of his eyes and he doesn’t know if they were tears of joy at all. Well, what more could they be since he was completely glad that the girl never really left.

  
          _I hope I did well on messing you up this time. But I think you’re dealing this coolly because, let’s face it, this wasn’t the worst scenario of your life. To be honest if I leave you’ll be just fine because you’re brilliant. ^_^_

  
          Zayn shook his head incredulously and wanted to tell Kerra at that very moment how wrong her assumptions are. Maybe he ought to show it than say it because actions do speak louder than words.

  
          _I will be here till December so we might bump into each other when you get here. I’m going to mail you my address and contact number when I get to the States. I’m going to see you soon I guess. Don’t miss too much okay? ^_^_  
           
 _Kerra_  
 _P.S._  
 _I’m sorry for the prank. See you soon Zayn._

  
          Zayn wanted to murder Kerra for the first time, for putting him into that position. The kind he never wanted to be on again because damn it wasn’t the best feeling in the world. It felt like he died but was actually breathing. Even his own heart wouldn’t listen to his central nervous system to continue pumping blood and to top it off his lungs were stubborn to process oxygen that would be distributed to his entire body. Everything was falling apart, even his own body.

  
          He sat on his bed and held on the paper tightly to check if it was real. If everything that’s happening was real. Kerra did get him good this time. His emotions were all over the place and he wasn’t exactly sure how to put himself back together after this. Zayn realized tons of things after this _prank_. Kerra’s stand on his life was clear and yet his stand on her life wasn’t. And he needs to fix that.

 

  
**

  
          “Hello!” Taylor greeted Harry and Ethan as the group meet on one of the studio’s conference room. Taylor was with her manager Miranda Cook and the meeting was only between the four of them. Taylor shook hands with Ethan and Harry, who was nervous and jumpy.

  
          “Please sit down,” Ethan prompted kindly at the two ladies. Their group sat across each other and Taylor was staring ─ gawking actually ─ at Harry and the boy was simply oblivious to that fact. He was physically present but mentally absent as his thoughts were somewhere else at that moment.

  
          “Me and Mr. Ethan here have already talked about this,” Miranda begun as she glanced at Taylor then at Harry. “We’re going to do the rundown now.” She stared at the pile of papers on her hands. “Just read this and sign it,” she ordered and passed the paper to Harry.

  
          Ethan had to elbow the curly boy a little because the lad was definitely not on Earth with then that very moment. Harry stared at the paper and turned to Ethan for guidance. The older man just nodded at him and Harry signed the papers after studying them for a short moment as if he understood all of it. He already knows how this things work and doesn’t need to look at it thoroughly anymore.

  
          “That’s settled then,” Ethan announced grinning from ear to ear like he won the lottery. He nodded at Miranda and shot a grateful glance at the blonde girl. He gave Harry a warning look but the boy didn’t see it because the green eyed lad was busy staring into the floor, forgetting the rest of the world again. Ethan just sighed quietly and hoped for the better.

  
          “I heard you met the Queen,” says Taylor at Harry. She wanted to start a conversation for the awkwardness to stop. She wasn’t good at making friends but well, this was business. She would act professionally and wished Harry would do the same. But her effort ended up in vain because the lad was completely ignoring her. She hated nothing more but be rejected. She was Taylor Swift for crying out loud. And to she was human to feel the need to be considered as someone important.

  
          Ethan cleared his throat loudly sensing the frustration of the blonde singer for being ignored by Harry. But the boy was clearly ignorant of the man’s effort of calling his attention. So, Ethan ended up elbowing Harry again. Much harder this time to take the boy’s soul back to his body. Harry looked around him surprised and gave Ethan a questioning look. “Miss Swift was talking to you,” Ethan informed through clenched teeth as he wanted to strangle the boy in his chair for being such a twat.

  
          Harry then turned his attention to the beautiful girl across him. She was now smiling widely at him and Harry knew it was fake. He can see the annoyance in her eyes that her angelic smile couldn’t hide. “I’m sorry,” Harry told Taylor in his low voice, the one that he uses on interview. If Swift was acting up then he would do the same. He can be a good actor too because he’s been doing pretend in front of the media for quite some time as of now.

  
          “That’s fine,” Taylor assured sweetly and beamed another smile at Harry. Ethan relaxed besides Harry as things were going superbly well. “How would you like me to address you?” she asked suddenly and her voice was even more sugar coated this time.

  
          “You can basically call me Harry,” the boy informed and smiled back. He didn’t have to put much effort to try and charm the girl because firstly it might not work on her. She was immune to guys like him because she has been with a lot of guys before him. And they must have already tried every trick on the guide book and Taylor probably had seen it all. If indeed he managed to charm Taylor he doesn’t have to work on it because he practically doesn’t have to try very hard. Harry knew he could be charming even when he wasn’t trying. It was more of a natural instinct, something he was unaware of before.

  
          The blonde girl nodded. “Can I call you Hazza?” she asked in the cutest manner she could muster. She likes endearments and she discovered that Harry has tons like: Hazza, Haz, Cupcake, Harold, etc. and that thrilled her.

  
          Harry wanted to say no but Ethan answered the opposite on his behalf. The curly lad could have protested but he knew his not going to win. For all he knows, Taylor could be calling him ‘dick’ and Ethan would still give the blonde girl the same authority.

  
          “Fabulous,” she said happily and Harry swore he almost got blinded by her smile. Maybe he should remember to wear his Ray Bans if he hangs out with Taylor. And he noticed that she seemed to be smiling a lot even when there was nothing amusing at all. It must be because she was super used to grinning that it comes naturally but that doesn’t make her smiles genuine.

  
          “And yeah that reminds me,” Ethan inserted and was speaking to Harry. “Give her your necklace.” Harry gave him another quizzical glare. “The one with a paper plane pendant on it. Quick,” Ethan prompted and the last word sounded like a threat.

  
          “Why would I do that?” Harry asked in annoyance. That necklace was important to him. Never had he ever taken it off even in his sleep or bath. And he would never ever remove it from his neck even it if was the only thing that could save his life or the whole planet Earth. “You know it has a sentimental value.” He frowned because he doesn’t see the logic on this one.

  
          “Even more brilliant,” Ethan exclaimed and applauded himself for his epic plan. And Harry glared at him. Ethan paid no attention to it because he was used to reaction like this from rebellious teenagers. To the man, Harry was one of those stupid boys who can’t set aside personal life for the sake of career. If he was being honest, Ethan was jealous of the lads’ fame because it was an opportunity he never had. Miracles never came his way and here were five oblivious and obnoxious boys who happened to stumble on one and are using it in the most immature way. This wasn’t fairytale, it was reality.

  
          “It’s not going to help anything,” Harry groaned at Ethan. Harry wanted to know why can’t this man understand that this was beyond his requirements as a singer. As far as the lad knows this should be illegal or just plain rude.

  
          “The fans would see it hanging on Taylor’s neck and that would start the fire,” Ethan said triumphantly like a Chemist discovering a new chemical for the Periodic Table that could be helpful and would be named after him so the world would never forget who he was.

  
          Harry saw the bigger picture now. And inside his head he slapped himself for being slow at fitting the puzzles together. Was he that stupid now?

  
          “Hazza?” Taylor called alarmed by the lad’s sudden silence and the way his face crumpled worried her as well.

  
          It was the last thing that Harry wanted to hear right now, Taylor’s voice. Swift’s sweet little voice calling him in an endearment that he never wanted to hear from her. He gathered every ounce of sanity left in him not to scream at the blonde girl to shut up and leave him alone, but he knows she doesn’t deserve that. She was a victim like him. An innocent victim of the bright limelight of fame.

  
          Then there’s this fire that Ethan wanted to start that could burn not only him but many people. Persons that he cared about. He needs to find a way to stop that flame from spreading but he can’t because no matter what he does Ethan will definitely find ways to ignite this pyre that the man had built. But Harry would never give up in finding loopholes to Ethan’s masterpiece of a plan. Even Titanic sunk and Harry would use that as motivation.

  
          “Just don’t lose it,” Harry notified Taylor as he removes the tiny silver chain from his neck. His chest was heavy and his hands were weak as he hand over his precious necklace over to the blonde girl’s waiting hand. She has this triumphant smile like Ethan but hers was more trustworthy than the man beside him. “Can you at least promise me that?” Harry’s voice filled with pleading that it could break a sensitive heart and turn a stone one into sponge.

  
          Taylor nodded and Harry was half relieved and half worried.

  
  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos or comments, yeah? Pretty please and a massive thank you! :) xoxo

   “Look at all these posts on Tumblr,” Louis announced excitedly as they all gathered inside the studio in America, rehearsing for the first time for their MSG concert on the 3rd of December. Harry pouted and reached for his neck to feel one missing necklace that used to be there. The curly lad can only grasp at his St. Christopher’s necklace that was also important to him. Harry did manage to get his mind busy with the loss of his precious accessory by inking his chest with two sparrows facing each other.

  
          “Haylor,” Niall read over Louis’ shoulder. “Cute name.” The Irish lad grinned at Harry. But the youngest lad remained uncharmed even by Niall’s heavenly smile. “Cheer up mate. It’s not going to be that bad. The name is very promising to begin with,” he joked and he was the only one who laughed at it. And that fact didn’t mind him at all because he was used to that. He tells a funny story nobody laughs and when he tells a serious one everybody does.

  
          “Are you missing her Harry?” Louis cooed teasingly at the green eyed boy and giggled to himself when Harry glared at him. He absolutely doesn’t want Taylor for Harry either but he prefers to joke around the problem than take it seriously. He was Louis Tomlinson, that’s what he was good at. He never takes anything seriously because nothing in life should be taken as one. Like Philosopher Tweety Bird had said: “Don’t take life seriously because no one comes out of it alive.”

  
          “We’re suppose to go out when she gets back here from the UK,” Harry said disgustingly. He doesn’t mind going on a date with Taylor, it was going on a fake date with Taylor that bothers him. And at the moment he doesn’t feel like dating her or fake dating her. He just wanted some quiet peace and alone time while they were on New York. Or maybe hang out with other people that aren’t celebrity and treats him like he was just plain Harry and not Harry from One Direction.

  
          This trip should be fun because America is a promising land of entertainment that would offer Harry a chance to forget about Zayn and the boy’s awesomely perfect lips that he can’t stop thinking about. And there he was again staring ─ ogling to be exact ─ at Zayn, who was texting someone on his phone. Harry noticed that the tan boy had been texting nonstop since they arrived and it didn’t make any sense because it was definitely night time in UK right now. Then who is Zayn messaging? Harry wondered.

  
          “When are the girls coming?” Niall asked his best friends. And by girls he meant the three official girlfriends excluding Taylor from the list. Niall doesn’t like the girl either even though she’s blonde like him. Well, technically he was under the brunet list before, he’s just blonde now.

  
          “The day after tomorrow I guess,” Liam informed, not really sure. He didn’t like getting anyone’s hopes up or giving out wrong information because to him that is already dishonesty. Not that, he has never lied before, but he prefers to be honest if possible. “Dani said she still have rehearsals tomorrow.”

  
          “Eleanor is just clearing her schedule for the rest of the week so she could come as soon as possible,” Louis announced happily like a kid eating ice cream for breakfast. He turned to Zayn. “When is Perrie coming mate?” he asked and eyed Zayn’s phone. It wasn’t only Harry who noticed that the tan boy had been on his phone for quite some time now.

  
          Zayn ran a hand through his hair and placed the phone on his pocket. He licked his lips slowly and stared into Louis’ waiting blue eyes. “When she’s done with work,” he answered as if saying ‘Isn’t it obvious?’

  
          “What about you Harry?” Louis asked turning to the curly haired boy who glared at him again. “When is Taylor coming over?” He wiggled his eyebrow at the youngest member and the lad sighed with defeat because Harry knew Louis would continually tease him about Taylor.

  
          “I don’t know Boobear,” Harry answered and sighed again. “She hasn’t contacted me. She’s very busy,” he added gladly. It was better this way if Taylor doesn’t bother him because he doesn’t want to bother her either. God, he doesn’t want anything to do with her because her life is even more chaotic than his. How does she survive all those attention thrown at her anyway? Maybe she just loves getting those devotions from fans.

  
          “Don’t worry Haz,” Louis said lovingly and ruffled Harry’s hair. “She will contact you. And maybe even follow you on Twitter,” he mocked and they all laughed at him. No one in their group liked Taylor when they knew that their youngest member isn’t comfortable with the Management’s plan. Of course the girl was innocent but they were all human to feel something like that towards the American singer. It’s not like they hate her, it’s just that they don’t like her. Those are different things.

  
          Liam was fine with Swift but her record on relationships bothers him and that makes him not like Taylor. If things mess up between the two pop stars, Liam would surely take Harry’s side even if it was the curly boy’s fault for being bad at fake-dating-another-popular-celebrity-like-yourself. But since everything was going well, for now, he wanted to focus more on their concert and his out-in-the-public relationship with Danielle. How would the fans react to it? It certainly worries him.

  
          Niall was excited for the performance on the MSG. It had been his ultimate dream to perform at the world’s biggest arena and now it was happening. A lot was happening in his life and he can’t put his mind around it sometimes. Everything was perfect for him. Except maybe for the fact that there’s no Nando’s at the States but they do have KFC so it’s still cool. His love life is also zero but its okay because he is not in a hurry to find his princess. e knows he will meet her at the right time, one day.

 

  
**

  
          “What are you all doing here?” Kerra asked as she opened her door and was bombarded by five gorgeous boys. They were all smiling at her. Liam, Niall, and Louis were smiling happily at her. Harry had a forced smile on his lips and the boy looked like a wreck. Zayn on the other hand had an impish smile that screams revenge. The convention was over that day and she was planning to go back to the UK after two days since she’d spend some of it to see New York behind the lens of her camera.

  
          “Do you have food?” Niall asked still smiling and trotted inside Kerra’s hotel room like it was his own. Liam’s eyes grew wide with Niall’s action that made the girl chuckled and assured the sandy haired boy, with her eyes, that it was fine. Liam gave her a grateful smile.

  
          “I’m sorry Nialler but this room doesn’t have a fridge,” Kerra answered, turning to Niall. It broke her heart more knowing that it would sadden the blonde boy.

  
          “What?” Niall said in disbelief as he turned to Kerra with those lovely blue eyes that were now filled with disappointment that made the girl’s heart ached.

  
          “We can eat outside,” Kerra told the boy and can’t help herself but embraced the sweet Irish lad to make him feel better. “I’ll pay,” she assured and winked at him. And instantly Niall’s face lit up with happiness.

  
          “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Liam inserted after clearing his throat. Niall pouted at Liam and Kerra stared at the Wolverhampton lad confusedly. “Can we at least talk inside?” Liam cautiously glanced at the empty hallways of the hotel as if paparazzi would suddenly appear out of nowhere and take their pictures.

  
          “Of course,” Kerra replied, clearly embarrassed by her lack of common sense. It was sort of rude that she had not invited the boys in.

  
          They settled inside the small room with one bed and a door that leads to the bathroom. Louis, Niall, and Harry were seated on the bed. While Liam sat the floor with Zayn and Kerra occupied the single chair on the room by the bed side table.

  
          “This is a small suite,” Louis announced as he roamed his eyes around the room, inspecting it for more flaws. Liam turned to the feather haired brunet and glared at him for being rude. Louis just rolled his eyes and Niall was nodding at his comment. Niall’s agreement with Louis earned him a glare from Liam but the glare was softer and less threatening.

  
          “This is cozy enough,” Kerra defended after sighing at Louis’ statement. This was the only place she could afford that was near to the convention. She couldn’t pay those expensive hotel rooms that were supposedly required. She does envy her other companions for being able to get into nice suites but she was satisfied with her room. She doesn’t mind sleeping under the tree on Central Park as long as she gets to attend the convention and be in the States.

  
          “You could stay in our hotel,” Niall offered, feeling sad for the girl. It might not be the worst hotel room he has ever seen but it was a bad hotel room. “I would love to be your roommate,” he added and beamed a smile at the girl.

  
          “Are you flirting with her, Horan?” Louis asked accusingly at the Irish boy that made the younger boy blush. Tommo on the other hand was grinning widely as he was enjoying the lad’s discomfort.

  
          “I’m not,” Niall replied, his voice rising at little. Kerra chuckled and shook her head, not believing what was really happening before her. “Her situation here is very bad and uncomfortable,” Niall added in a smaller voice, ashamed of his outburst. He was blushing again and was staring at his fingers to avoid the gazes, he knew, his friends were throwing at him.

  
          “Thanks Niall,” Kerra said sincerely. She was happy that somebody cared. “But I am very comfortable here.”

  
          “Actually, you do need to come with us,” Liam informed and Kerra shot him a quizzical look. “We need you to be our photographer tomorrow,” he explained.

  
          “What?” Kerra muttered and glanced at the five faces before her, individually, looking for any sign of dishonesty. They all stared at her seriously, even Louis, who merely does serious. She knew what Liam said was true and she wanted it to be nothing but a prank at all.

  
          “The photographer couldn’t make it,” Liam explained further to enlighten the girl before them.

  
          “But there would be a lot of others who would kill to take your pictures,” Kerra reasoned out, as she could not find logic in the present situation. They were the world’s biggest boyband at the moment and no one in their right mind would want to say ‘No’ to an opportunity of doing a photo shoot of them. But then Kerra must have been abnormal because she honestly doesn’t want to do it. What if things go bad, she wasn’t an expert to begin with.

  
          “And you’re not one of those _others_?” Louis asked confusedly. He batted his eyelashes at the girl and Kerra has to say that it made him looked girly. “What we are offering you right now is a once in a lifetime opportunity,” he said reverently as if they were some saintly being sent down on Earth that needed to be worshiped. But of course they all knew Louis was exaggerating again. As usual, he was using his theatrical abilities like he always does. “Besides, whether you agree or not Paul has already made your contract and all you need is signed it. If you don’t…we have to resort in forging your signature which Harry,” he ruffles Harry’s curls, “here would be happy to do.” Louis smirked at the wide eyed girl and knew he won. He loves it when he always gets what he wanted. And he always does.

  
          “Are you blackmailing me?” Kerra asked incredulously at Louis. A trace of annoyance is present in her voice. She looked at Liam, the sensible one, for help but Liam had the same smile on his face. Only that Louis’ smile was more evil and arrogant.

  
          “It’s not blackmailing love,” Louis assured smugly and batted his eyelashes at Kerra again. “It’s merely helping you realize that you have a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. Right Niall?” Louis smiled and turned to the Irish lad.

  
          “Hey,” Niall retorted. And Kerra would have been even more annoyed by Louis’ statement if only she wasn’t amused with Niall’s reaction. “It’s always because I’m Irish,” Niall said and pouted cutely. They all laughed at Nialler. Always the life of the party.

  
          “I still love you mate,” Louis amended in between his laugh. And Niall replied by sticking his tongue out at the eldest member of the band. “Aren’t you sweet?” Louis cooed and ruffled Niall’s hair this time.

  
          “So what do you say Kerra?” Liam asked seriously.

  
          “What do I say?” Kerra repeated sarcastically as she put a hand on her forehead. “Do I even have a say in this?” She stared at the five boys before her and they all shook there head. She must be very unfortunately lucky that day and she doesn’t know if she should be happy or sad about it.

  
          “This is for your own good,” Louis assured but Kerra wasn’t very relieved with that promise. Why is she always reluctant for blessings like this anyway? Right, because it scares her. This is going to be a big change. Is she ready for it?

  
          “Pack your bags,” Liam ordered as he rose up. Kerra looked confused again. “We can’t let you stay here,” Liam explained. “And we need you very early tomorrow morning. Plus we need you to sign the contract tonight with Paul.”

  
          “But I can’t afford the ─” Kerra begun but was cut off.

  
          “Of course it’s going to be free silly,” Louis assured again. It seems like the boy is doing all the talking tonight, Kerra noted. He was indeed the talkative one or maybe it’s just the others weren’t in the mood for talking. Kerra was sure that Zayn wasn’t the chatty type of person. She doesn’t know about the other boys though but for now she was sure that Louis was loquacious and that he always gets his way.

  
          “I can’t let you pay,” Kerra announced. “You’re already giving me a job. I can’t let you pay for my room.” Her brows were furrowed.

  
          Louis sighed. “Why are you very stubborn?” he asked a little frustrated. His nerves are getting the best of him this time but he won’t let that happen. “Can’t you just thank us?”

  
          Kerra frowned. “I’m sorry,” she said embarrassed for, yet again, being impolite. These boys were helping her and here she was rejecting their generosity. “I’m just not used at people being kind,” she explained in a small voice not looking up to meet the boys’ gazes on her. “Thank you for being nice to me,” she said sincerely and looked up at the lads with a smile.

  
          “You should get used to be treated fairly because you deserve it,” says Liam thoughtfully and smiled back at the girl. Kerra didn’t miss the way Zayn flinched a little at what Liam has said. What was that all about? She wondered.

  
          “Right,” Niall agreed at what Liam had said with a nod. “Every girl deserves to be treated with respect and tons of love.”  
          “Thank you so much lads.” She cannot stop herself from smiling at how wonderful she was feeling right now. It was always nice to know that you are loved.

  
          “Enough with the drama,” Louis announced destroying the moment. Nobody seemed to be angry at him though because it was still magical. “Pack your things now.”

  
          And Kerra did. Happily this time because the idea of getting stuck with the lads didn’t look so grim now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! xoxo


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! We had a busy week so there would be one chapter this week. I’m terribly sorry. A massive thank you for reading and tweet me at (@NotObsess_Lie) if you needed a person to talk or fangirl with, yeah? Enjoy! xoxo

Kerra moved into the hotel with them. She got a room that was on the boys’ floor just next to Niall’s, which he was extremely happy about. They were all at the biggest suite of all; Zayn’s shared room with Perrie. The tan boy won it over a Wii game that Harry and Liam could not get over with. The two were the best player and they couldn’t believe they were defeated by Zayn, who doesn’t play as often as they do. They insisted that the tan boy cheated on them which is not true but they just say so to save their faces.

  
     “Paul, this is Zayn’s distant cousin, Kerra,” Liam introduced as every pair of eyes on the room were on Kerra. Paul studied the tan girl from head to toe and eyeing her suspiciously as if she could be one of the crazed fangirls that wanted to get her hands on the lads. “She’s the photographer we talked to you about.” Liam smiled at the huge man. Mostly it was Liam who was doing negotiations because Paul trusted him. Louis doesn’t do deals; he bribes Paul into doing it. Wouldn’t call it a bribe either since it’s more likely to be a demand.

  
     Liam crossed the room to where Danielle was. The girl was seating at the couch with Eleanor. Both girls were silent but their eyes were on the new girl with the lads. And like Paul, they were scrutinizing Kerra but in a much nicer way than how the man was doing it.

  
     When Liam was seated beside her, Danielle planted a quick kiss on his lips and nobody minded at all ─ except Kerra, who wasn’t use to showing of affection in public ─ because it was natural. Louis was suddenly seating on the floor with his back on Eleanor’s legs. The brunet turned to his model girlfriend and she gave him a kiss on the lips and a sweet smile. Louis couldn’t help but smile back when he thought how lucky he was to have an understanding and caring girlfriend like Eleanor. And to top it off she was very lovely.

  
     “Enough with the PDA,” Harry grunted as he glared at Liam and Louis. The latter just rolled his eyes at the younger lad.

  
     “Are you jealous Harold?” Louis teased smugly. “But you have a date with Taylor tomorrow.” He was smirking as if he won World War II by himself. “At the Central Park, right?”

  
     Harry doesn’t answer instead his eyes unconsciously drifted to Zayn. The tan boy was very quiet ever since Kerra went with them. What could be running through his head? Harry wanted to ask Zayn but of course he would never do it. Perrie hasn’t return yet from her shopping, refusing to be accompanied by Zayn because she wanted to surprise him with the dress she would wear for the MSG concert. Is that why the tan boy was unhappy, because Zayn misses Perrie?

  
    “Is she any good?” Paul asked breaking the silence, as well as Harry’s deep thinking. All eyes were on Kerra again, making the girl self conscious. She’s never felt like this before; as if she was a patient under medical observations by doctors trying to figure out what was her disease.

  
     “Of course she is,” Niall defended the girl, hurt that Paul would be so harsh with his question. “We saw her work and it was brilliant.”

  
     Kerra was blushing deeply and could not decipher if she should hate Niall for over selling her or love Niall for defending her. She chose the latter because there was no way in hell she could ever hate the Irish lad. Everything about Niall was lovely and beautiful and you could never find a flaw at the tiniest fiber of his being.

  
     “Okay,” Paul nodded, convinced. He handed the girl a thick pile of papers containing the contract. “Sign them.” Kerra took the documents from Paul’s hands. “You could use the dining table.” Paul pointed his hand towards the long mahogany table by the small kitchen.

  
     Kerra took her seat at one of the chairs and skimmed through the contract. She certainly wasn’t in the mood to read such long documents right now. She looked up at the lads for assurance and she found it in their eyes. Without second thoughts, she signed the papers and trusted the lads’ judgment. It’s not like she’s signing a deal with Christian Grey or something. This was a simple business contract and not the ones where she would be sold for slavery kind of thing.

  
     She handed the thick papers back to Paul and beamed at him. She noticed that he was a little tough on her but she understands because she was a stranger. She can sense that the man was actually really nice with the flicker of his eyes when he looks at the boys. It was a parental kind of look and very protective.

  
     “It’s settle then,” Paul said as he secured the contract inside a manila envelop. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning at 8. You need to talk to the team on how you want this photo shoot done.” Kerra just nodded and her mind was rummaging for ideas. Maybe she’ll do some research on the internet tonight. “Their wardrobe is ready so in case you wanted to get something there you are free to look at the clothes.” Kerra nodded again. Paul can be intimidating if he gives orders but she knew that he’s not someone to be scared of as his eyes were very soft.

    
     “Paul, you’re being mean to her,” Louis complained as he saw the girl was biting her lower lip in a fidgety kind of way. “She’s a pro. She’ll be fine and tomorrow would be perfect.” He smiled at the man and in return Paul rolled his eyes on Louis. Again the man was beginning to question his state of mind when it comes to the eldest member of the band.

  
      “Let’s call it a day,” Paul announced and the lads groaned to disagree. “Okay. You have until,” he looks at his wristwatch, “1AM. But nobody is allowed to leave the hotel. And after whatever you’re about to do you have to be in your respective rooms,” Paul commanded as he knows that the boys loved to break the rules. They are teenagers so it was normal but they also have responsibilities.

  
     “Thanks Paul,” Niall called happily as the man left the room.

  
     There was a sudden silence as Paul left and nobody moved from their places. Only their eyes were moving from one person to the next. You can’t even tell if they were breathing.

  
    “Good night guys,” Kerra said as she stood up from her chair.

  
    “Whoa.” Louis stood up from the floor to stop the girl from leaving. “Who said you can go to bed?” Kerra stared at her confusedly and with disbelief as if Louis had lost his mind. The girl doesn’t assume anymore because she knows the Doncaster lad is epically insane. And that’s even an understatement. “It’s just 10,” he added and Kerra doesn’t know how Louis knows the time when the boy doesn’t even have a watch. And she didn’t notice a wall clock inside the room either.

  
    “I can see that,” Kerra replied still confused.

  
     “The night is just starting,” said Louis and placed an arm around Kerra’s shoulder. Zayn didn’t notice that his fists were clenched as he stares at Louis’ action. He knows that Louis wasn’t flirting or anything, Louis was typically being Louis, but Zayn couldn’t help but be jealous. Kerra was his and he should probably remind the girl about that…later.

  
    “So?” Kerra prompted when Louis wasn’t able to continue, lost in his little fantasy inside his head.

  
    “We’re getting pissed!” Louis proclaimed and Niall cheered in agreement. The rest just rolled their eyes at the brunet’s idea. Of course Louis wanted to drink.

  
     “Can I pass?” Kerra asked innocently. She didn’t like the idea at all. She doesn’t like alcoholic drinks, except wine, and she’s won’t start on learning to be fond of it for the next years of her life. She won’t get anything except a bad hangover the next day.

  
     “Of course you can not,” Louis said as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet at the moment. “You will drink with us.”

  
     “But I have work tomorrow,” she reasoned out not wanting to be persuaded by famous manipulator, Louis Tomlinson. It would be her biggest mistake if she goes on with whatever the boy has in mind. And by the looks of it she can conclude that it wasn’t very beneficial for her part.

  
     “Nonsense,” Louis contradicted as his brows furrowed. “Besides you still haven’t met the rest of the family,” he insisted, buying his time to make the second attack on Kerra. He didn’t like being thwarted. Nobody disobeys Louis the Tommo Tomlinson. He guided Kerra, keeping an assuring arm around her shoulder, towards the couch where Eleanor and Danielle were.

  
“It’s about time, don’t you think?” Eleanor was raising an eyebrow at her boyfriend. She stood up and kissed both of Kerra’s cheek. “Hello love.” She smiled at the tan girl and Kerra was blown away by how beautiful Eleanor was up close. Louis definitely has eyes and taste, Kerra noted. “My name’s Eleanor. You can call me El.” Another smile was beamed at Kerra and she had to smile back.

  
“Kerra,” she said simply, afraid that she would stutter or say something bad that happens a lot of time if she was nervous. She was never good with socializing.

  
“And I’m Danielle,” Dani says and gave Kerra the same kiss Eleanor gave the tan girl. “You can call me Dani.” She winked at Kerra before beaming a smile at the girl.

  
Kerra’s brain was processing slow as she looked at the persons before her. They looked like lost gods and goddesses. She’s usually doesn’t get starstruck but this time she was. It wasn’t for the fact that these people around her were celebrities. It was the reality that they were treating her like family, like she was a star herself. She felt special and loved something she doesn’t feel except with her family and Zayn.

  
“Welcome to the crazy family,” Eleanor said to Kerra and the model winked at her dancer friend making them both laugh at a remembered private joke.

  
“We’re not crazy,” Louis disagreed and pouted at his girlfriend.

  
“Well, most of us aren’t,” Liam corrected.

  
“I don’t care whatever kind of family we are,” Niall inserted seriously. “As long as we’re a family. That’s enough,” he added.

  
Louis applauded and pretended to wipe away invisible tears from his eyes. “Well said mate,” he said as he make a sobbing sound. Everybody laughed, except for Niall who just rolled his eyes at his friends. Here he was saying nice things and they laugh at it. The signals he was sending must have been mutating on their own before they arrive his friends’ brains.

  
As everybody around Kerra was laughing she realized that for the first time in her life she had friends. Friends she could fit in with. She might not get to know the lads very much but she knows that they care for her and she knows they have grown on her too. Eleanor and Danielle were also very sweet and sincere that Kerra assumed they wouldn’t settle to be just another acquaintance of her.

 

**

“Who has one kidney?” Louis asked.

  
“Hey,” Liam said in displeasure. Kerra didn’t know what happened but they all somehow ended up on a game where in someone asks a question and you have to drink a shot if it relates to you. “That is very unfair Tomlinson,” Liam retorted and gulped down his shot of tequila. Niall gladly filled Liam’s shot glass with more liquor.

  
Louis just laughed at Liam. The Doncaster lad loves to annoy people at times. “You’re next Liam,” he told the boy who was still glaring at him.

  
“Who hasn’t tried skinny dipping,” Liam said and turned his eyes around their broken circle. On his right was Danielle, who was between him and Eleanor. Next to Eleanor was Louis whose other seatmate was Harry. And Niall was seated between Harry and Kerra. Zayn was the person on Liam’s left, who was next to Kerra. They were on the floor with a bottle of tequila at the center and a shot glass ─ with liquor ─ on their hands. Nobody drunk their shot, meaning everybody had done skinny dipping. But then Kerra ─ much to her dislike ─ had drunk her shot.

  
“You haven’t done it?” Harry asked with disbelief and it sounded like an accusation making Kerra blushed deeply as she shook her head.

  
“What were you doing with you life?” Louis was concerned at what else the tan girl was missing in her teenage life.

  
“Everybody calm down,” Liam ordered being fatherly again. He was feeling bad because it was him who had put Kerra in this awkward position she is now. For him it wasn’t the girl’s fault that she had never done skinny dipping before. He sent her an apologetic look and the girl nodded at her. He knows he was forgiven. “Your turn love,” Liam encouraged in attempt to change the subject.

  
“Who has a written diary at this very moment?” Kerra asked and she knew the question sounded lame. She didn’t have a diary and she tried so many times before, at the past, but she was too lazy to write about her day on a silly little notebook.

  
Harry, Louis, Danielle, Liam, and Eleanor drunk up their shots and they stared at each other with disbelief. Niall was laughing at them and especially at his band mates. Zayn was grinning too.

  
“I expected it from the ladies but…” Niall begun but was laughing so hard he couldn’t finish his sentence. “Especially Harry.”  
“It’s very normal Niall,” Harry defended and glared at Niall.

  
“I don’t think so,” Louis disagreed and was smiling himself on the reality of things.

  
“And that’s from someone who has a diary as well,” Harry retorted, scoffing at Louis. Well, Louis isn’t quite in favor of normality so Harry knew why the boy was disagreeing with him.

  
“Maybe we could exchange diary next time Harold,” Eleanor teased and giggled with Danielle. Harry rolled his eyes at the teasing and decided not to say anything.

  
“My turn,” Louis announced excitedly and was eyeing Niall impishly. He wanted payback for being laughed at. He didn’t mind to be the topic of the joke at all. He simply wanted to annoy Niall. He had annoyed Liam and Harry. Now it was Niall’s turn. “Who’s still a virgin,” he says and every pair of eyes, except for Kerra and Zayn, darted on Niall.

  
Niall was shocked and then silent. He didn’t saw it coming. He turned red with embarrassment but was chuckling at Louis, understanding what the older lad was trying to pull. “You always play dirty,” Niall commented and drunk his shot happily. He never says no to alcohol. He hissed a little as the liquid left a burning sensation down his throat.

  
But before Niall could fill his glass with tequila, they all noticed that Kerra had drunk her shot as well. Now everyone’s attention was, yet again, on her.

  
“You got to be kidding me,” Louis said incredulously almost jumping from his seat with shock. The girl was blushing again, this time from both the drink and embarrassment.

  
“Lou,” Eleanor scolded, seeing Kerra’s discomfort with all the stares the girl was getting. And Louis tends to over react at times.

  
“I’m sorry,” Louis apologized. He knew his reaction was plain rude but he wasn’t able to stop himself. “But you’re fit,” he added still in disbelief. Kerra wasn’t a perfect10 but she was surely between 8 and 9. Screw the score board, Louis thought. Kerra was a 10 for Louis because the girl was kind and smart. When it comes to physical aspect, Kerra was beautiful. Not the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on but the girl was beautiful. No arguing that.

  
Kerra was now tomato red with Louis’ compliment. She never thought she was fit. Nobody had said it to her in front of everybody before. Zayn had whispered many times that she was sexy but he had never said it out loud with a crowd. She understands though because Zayn wasn’t like Louis who would always say what’s on his mind. But it was nice to be able to get a compliment, from a pretty boy like Louis, with many people hearing it. She wasn’t vain but she never gets this kind of attention before so this was foreign to her.

  
Zayn was jealous of Louis again for making Kerra blush by saying a simple compliment. He wanted to grab her right now and kissed her roughly to make her blush deeper so Louis would know that he could do better.

  
“At least tell me you had a boyfriend before,” Louis begged desperately at Kerra. The girl in return looked away from his stare and found the floor very interesting. Kerra regretted that she let Louis manipulate her in staying with the group. She was having fun a while ago but that seemed to be a long time ago right now. “Is it because you’re Muslim?”

  
“Louis,” Eleanor and Liam said at the same time. Both sounded scandalized. Sometimes Louis just couldn’t hold his tongue that often gets him into trouble. Luckily, he always seemed to have a way out of it.

  
“My family is Christian,” Kerra answered looking up at Louis.

  
“Then why?” Louis demanded as if it was a matter of life and death.

  
“I don’t know,” Kerra answered with a shrug and her eyes flickered for a short moment at the tan boy beside her who was the only one not gazing at her. She had already told Zayn the reason. “I wasn’t good looking enough for the boys I guess.” Her voice sounded calm but she was sad deep inside. She wasn’t good enough that truth hurts.

  
“I disagree!” Louis said sharply. He knows what it feels like to be rejected because you’re not good looking enough. It happened to him. And he wanted to break the nose of the lad who told Kerra she wasn’t good looking enough.

  
“You’re very pretty love,” Eleanor assured, sympathizing with Kerra. “That bloke was plainly stupid for not seeing what he was missing.” She didn’t know how her words were stabbing Zayn in the heart like a knife.

  
“Yeah,” Danielle agreed. “You should find a lad that’s going to treat you like a princess,” she added and Liam put his arm on her shoulder as he pulled her closer to him making her smile. “You should find yourself a boy like my Liam. Or El’s Louis. Or maybe a Zayn.”

  
Liam was smiling shyly while Louis was smirking at what Danielle had said. Zayn remained quiet and aloof because this conversation was killing him slowly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey, a massive thank you again for your time. You can follow me on Twitter at (@NotObsess_Lie) and on Tumblr at hopelessly-inzayn.tumblr.com I follow back. Ciao! xoxo


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! Vas happenin? Here’s the next chapter. A massive thank you for reading and waiting. Tweet me at (@NotObsess_Lie) if you need to talk to someone. Ciao! xoxo

The group was still playing the shot game when suddenly Kerra’s phone buzzed. The girl excused herself to get the call. She frowned when she saw Stephen’s name at the dial.

  
“Hey Stephen,” she greeted as she answered the call. She has her back on the group that didn’t continue to play the game without her. She didn’t see the frown that formed on Zayn’s face when she said Stephen’s name.

  
“Where are you?”Stephen asked worried over the phone. The boy was the only warm person in Kerra’s class and school. The rest of the students were cold to her or some of them pretend she doesn’t exist.

  
“I’m over at some mates,” she answered feeling guilty for making Stephen worry. She never liked troubling others. She might not be closed to the boy but he was the nearest person she could call a friend at the university. “I’m terribly sorry for not texting you.”

  
“You know someone from New York?” His voice was full of disbelief. Stephen knew Kerra was the introvert type, someone who has a number of friends that could be counted with the fingers. And now she’s saying that she has friends that were on New York. Was she kidnapped and forced to say things because she had a gun pointed at her skull?

  
“Yes Stephen.” Kerra rolled her eyes. She wouldn’t do it in front of the lad if he was before her right now. But for all she knows he could be somewhere on the biggest city in the world at the moment. “And I’m perfectly fine. I wasn’t abducted by aliens. That’s still bound to happen next year, remember?” She laughed at her own joke and felt nice to be able to talk to someone outside her comfort zone with confidence. She was always scared of a face to face conversation.

  
Stephen chuckled too. “I’m sorry to break your bubble but…” He trailed off as his voice turned serious. This worried Kerra. What could be the problem this time? Why can’t she ever catch a break?

  
“What’s wrong?” she asked and her throat was dry. She knew Stephen wouldn’t call her if it wasn’t an emergency.

  
“It’s about your portforlio,” he said and Kerra was scared now. What happened to her soft copy portfolio? She asked Stephen to pass it to Mr. Miguel Ramirez, a top photographer who attended the convention. She was pushing her luck at his studio maybe he would take her. It was a long shot but she wouldn’t die if she tries anyway. “I checked it on my laptop and it wouldn’t open. Your CD might be broken.”

  
Kerra’s heart stopped beating. This can’t be happening. She had worked hard on that bloody CD and now it failed her. Sometimes technology could be your biggest ally or your worst enemy.

  
“Kerra?” Stephen called from the other end but the girl just couldn’t find her voice from all the bleak information her brain was processing. “Look you don’t need to panic. You still have until 8 tomorrow.”

  
Kerra wanted to be relieved but she has a job tomorrow. And she has already signed those documents and she doesn’t want to disappoint the boys. They trusted her and she can’t let them down. Not now that she knew they cared for her and she realized that she felt the same way about them.

  
“I can’t come tomorrow,” she told Stephen, sighing sadly. She really wanted this to work out for her but at the moment it seemed impossible. She weighed what matters more and, as much as she hates to see the opportunity with Mr. Miguel Ramirez goes, she wouldn’t trade the friendship she has shared with the boys for anything else in the world.

  
Everyone pretended not to eavesdrop on Kerra’s conversation but they failed when they turned to her direction when she said she can’t meet whoever she was speaking on the phone. And her voice sounded heavy like she lost something very important.

  
“And why?” Stephen asked confusedly, voicing out the same question a small part of her brain had been screaming at her.

  
“I have things I need to do tomorrow,” she replied trying to speak just above whisper knowing her companions can hear her. And she doesn’t want to make them feel guilty, if ever they were.

  
Stephen was quiet. Kerra thought the boy had hang up on her but she can still hear him breathing. A thing she noticed the boy does when he was thinking. “Well, can you come over right now?” Stephen asked. He wasn’t giving up on her yet. She had potential and he can see that. Somehow deep down he wants her to be happy and she is, when she’s taking pictures. “We’ll finish it tonight and I will pass it to Mr. Ramirez tomorrow before 8.”

  
Kerra’s heart literally jumped out of her chest. Her whole face lit up and she couldn’t stop smiling like she had lost her mind. Stephen was helping her and she couldn’t fathom why but she was glad. “Okay,” she said hurriedly too excited to compose herself and remember that she wasn’t alone.

  
“Brilliant,” said Stephen and Kerra can tell that he was smiling too. “I’ll just text you where to meet me. Where are you anyway?”

  
“Somewhere in the Upper East Side,” she answered, uncertainty clear in her voice. “Maybe near Central Park. I’m not quite sure.” Stephen laughed at her and she joined him, thus making Zayn clenched his fist tighter than before.

  
The tan boy doesn’t know what could be so funny about Stephen. He had never met the other boy but he had heard the name a lot from Kerra. She doesn’t literally speak of Stephen often just thrice was his name mentioned but Zayn didn’t like it. Not now that Stephen was making Kerra laugh after she sounded like a wrecked, a while ago.

  
“I’ll see you in 30 minutes then,” Stephen said.

  
“Yeah,” Kerra replied. “And thank you so much for everything.”

  
“No problem.”

  
“I have to prepare now,” says Kerra not able to hide the excitement on her voice. She didn’t know she could squeal like a normal teenage girl when clothes and shoes are on sale. Things were dark a few minutes ago but now the sun was shining brightly and she wants to bask in its radiance.

  
“Bye.”

  
“Bye.” She ended the call still smiling like she won the lottery. When she turned back to her friends they were staring at her with wide eyes. Well, most of them were.

  
“You look happy,” Liam commented, happy for the girl for whatever reason it is.

  
“Who called you?” Zayn asked, speaking for the first time since they got to the hotel. His voice was flat and too calm for comfort. Zayn never put much emotion when he speaks so it wasn’t new to the rest. But Harry saw through it and Kerra knew it was off.

  
“A classmate of mine,” she answered not only for Zayn’s benefit but also for the group as she can sense their curiosity. “It’s really a long story and at the moment I don’t have the time to tell.” She looked at them apologetically. “I’m sorry mates but I have to ditch you. I need to settle some things.”

  
“It was a boy wasn’t it,” Louis accused grinning widely that his face turned to be all teeth and lips. Kerra blushed faintly not knowing why exactly she was blushing. Stephen was just a friend. But the way Louis had dangled a malicious tone into the sentence made it impossible not to be embarrassed. She should be angry but Louis’ turned it the opposite direction.

  
“It was a boy,” Eleanor confirmed as happy as her boyfriend.

  
“It was,” Kerra confessed confuse why they are making it such a big deal. And why is she blushing over the so-not-big-deal thing that is Stephen.

  
“Kerra’s got a boyfriend,” Niall sang and was grinning like Louis.

  
“He is not my boyfriend,” Kerra clarified which seemed to be ineffective with all the giggling and eye rolling the other boys and two girls are giving her. “Look,” she cleared her throat as to compose herself. “Stephen is not my boyfriend. He is my friend who happens to be a boy and he is helping me pass my portfolio to Mr. Miguel Ramirez, an infamous photographer,” she explained as fast as she could, panting when she was done.

  
“Then what are you still doing here?” Louis scolded but he was smiling at Kerra and didn’t sound so upset at all.

  
“But what about Paul?” Kerra asked hesitantly realizing that Paul had ordered them all not to leave the hotel.

  
Niall snorted. “Please,” he said chuckling. “He would throw a fit but he would get over it. We always sneak around. It’s fun.” He grinned at Kerra.

  
“You might get lost though,” Liam contemplated worriedly. “And it’s not safe for a girl to go out all alone at this time,” he added as he glanced at his watch.

  
“I’ll go with her,” Niall volunteered without hesitation.

  
“That’s like making her bring another baggage,” Louis teased to which Niall pouted. The blonde lad wanted to retort Louis’ comment but he was cut off by Liam.

  
“You could not fend for yourself Niall,” Liam said to the boy and Niall pouted again. The Irish lad hated to be treated like a little kid which the boys’ often do to him. He was 19 for Pete’s sake. How come they care less for Harry when the boy was the youngest between the five of them?

  
“I’ll go,” Zayn said before Liam could say that he could accompany Kerra since the sandy haired boy was the most responsible. Zayn’s decision attracted Harry’s attention, who was uninterested with the whole scenario. Why was Zayn volunteering? Zayn was lazy. Harry’s brain battled with two ideas about Zayn’s willingness to escort Kerra. First, because his hunch about Zayn and Kerra’s relationship is true. And the other one is because the two are relatives.

  
They all stared confusedly at Zayn. It was true that the tan boy rarely offer his aid at times like this so everyone was caught by surprise. But they were relatives. Family always comes first before self.

  
Kerra’s phone buzzed again. This time it was a text message from Stephen giving her the location of their rendezvous.  
“That should be your cue,” says Danielle and winked at Kerra.

  
“Right,” Kerra agreed and smiled at the dancer. “Let’s go. I’ll just get my laptop from my room.” She waved them goodbye and headed out.

  
“Later lots,” Zayn said to his friends. “Don’t stay up too much. And don’t worry about Perrie, I’ll text her later.”

  
And off he went out the door.

 

**

 

Kerra was in her room trying to pack her laptop in her bag. She checked what else she needed to bring then suddenly someone was knocking on her door. She opened it and revealed Zayn with his hands on his jean pockets.

  
“Zayn ─” She was cut off when Zayn pushed her inside the room, closing and locking the door in an almost blinding speed. “What are you ─?” Her lips were suddenly busy kissing Zayn back. A part of her brain was telling her that they needed to go but a larger part of it was enjoying the moment. She was being led back to the room and suddenly her whole body was on the soft bed. Zayn was on top of her and he was pinning her down with his weight.

  
The kiss would only be broken for a few seconds when their lungs needed a little bit of air to function well. Zayn’s kiss was always intoxicating. It’s like drugs, it gets you high but the good thing about it is that it’s not bad for the health so you could have as many as you like without killing yourself. But like normal drugs you get dependent to it and your body searches for it and you never have enough. And at times you end up wanting more.

  
Kerra let out a soft moan when Zayn bit her lower lip leaving a bearable pain at its wake. His hands were on both sides of her neck, holding her face in place for his own benefits in the kiss. They don’t always snog like this as if it was the end of the world. This was different, a little bit rough and needy all at once, which Kerra found extremely hot. Zayn was moving down to her neck and was unbuttoning her blouse making her writhe beneath him at the awesome sensation she feels when his lips touch her skin.

  
“Fuck,” Kerra cursed when Zayn nibbled on a sensitive part just behind her ear. She can feel the boy smiling as he continued his pursuit. He was moving down her jawlines again and to her neck and clavicle. He stopped and peered at her under his long beautiful lashes as she whimpered at the lost of contact from his lips.

  
“Beg,” Zayn demanded his voice was dark and flat. Kerra knew exactly what Zayn wanted from her. This was the third time it had happened. The first was when he got angry with her over something she had forgotten what. The second was when he became jealous when Kerra was assigned to take some male models photograph and one of them left a voicemail asking her over for a cup of tea. Now what is it this time? Was Zayn angry at her for troubling him? Or was he jealous? But of course the latter was impossible.

  
“Please,” she pleaded sounding desperate and a little confused. But the latter didn’t show in her voice at all. “Kiss me.”

  
Zayn locked their lips again in a heated kiss and Kerra swear she wasn’t on Earth anymore. Zayn’s scent was flooding her nostrils making her even more intoxicated as she is. Her hands were tugging his hair softly in need to feel him more; his mouth, his scent, his body, his everything.  
“I think I have to remind you that I’m a very jealous type of bloke,” Zayn said above her lips as he stared down at her connecting their foreheads and both of them out of breath.

  
So he was jealous, Kerra thought as she looked up to Zayn’s lovely hazel eyes. Has she given him reason? She couldn’t remember and her brain wasn’t processing right because the boy was kissing her again.

  
A low growl came from Zayn as he moved his lips back down to her clavicle again not breaking eye contact with her. He sucked at the soft skin, making sure to leave a mark that made Kerra groaned with pleasure. Her breath was caught in her throat and every part of her being was alive. She wants Zayn so bad that it hurts. But her world went upside down when Zayn rolled off from her.

  
“You’re not going to get some tonight,” he announced and kissed her forehead, smiling smugly at her.

  
Kerra’s brows were knitted together in disappointment and confusion. Her heart was still beating very fast in her chest and she couldn’t think of anything else with her hormones blaming her for being left unsatisfied.

  
“We have to go,” Zayn said and pulled himself out of bed bringing Kerra with him. The stupid smile was still on his face as if he had triumph but the girl knows he had because she was now the bitter one. It was always the other way around, a proof that things never stay the same forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A massive thank you for reading! Have a good day/night. xoxo


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! ILY! xoxo

          “Stephen!” Kerra called the boy as she got out of the cab with Zayn behind her. Stephen turned to her direction.

          “Kay.” Stephen beamed a smile at the girl but it faded when he saw the tan boy who got an arm around her waist.

Zayn frowned at the endearment Stephen used for Kerra. He noticed that Stephen was lean and tall like Harry. The boy was pale too and his hair was like of Louis. Stephen was good looking and shouldn’t be behind the lens of the camera because Zayn can tell that the boy was photogenic. The pale boy has this Italian features that was attractive and adorable at the same time. A combo that only Stephen could pull off.

          “Starbucks eh?”Kerra said as she looked at the café at her right. They were outside and Stephen suggested that Starbucks was the only place that could be open at such a late hour.

          “Yeah,” Stephen breathed, averting his eyes away from the tan boy. Zayn was wearing a Ray Bans and a light gray beanie so it was hard for him to be recognized by anyone.

          “Shall we order then?” Kerra asked both boys and they nodded at her.

          Stephen got in first and Kerra followed with Zayn opening the door for her. They ordered coffee and settled at a table. Zayn and Kerra were seated together while the other boy sat across them.

          “Is he the friend you’re visiting here?” Stephen asked looking at Zayn suspiciously because the Bradford boy hasn’t removed his shades and beanie. It was just not normal.

          “Yes,” Kerra answered, alarmed by the question. She doesn’t want to lie more to Stephen when he was so good to her. “A relative actually.” She smiled at the boy. Stephen seemed relieved and happy while Zayn felt the opposite.

          “Hello mate,” Stephen said to Zayn for the first time. Now that he knows the tan boy isn’t some creepy guy trying to manipulate Kerra, Stephen had warmed up to Zayn. “I’m Stephen.” He smiled warmly at the tan boy, showing his pair of dimples.

          _What the fuck?_ Zayn thought blinking severely under his shades as he could not believe that the boy has dimples. Again Zayn was wishing he had dimples he could show off like Harry and Stephen. He didn’t know why Stephen’s dimples reminded him of Harry. Harry and his bloody dimples with his fucking forest green eyes and gorgeous lips. He blushed at the thought of the Chesire lad’s lips because he had tasted them.

          A little nudge from Kerra ended Zayn’s train of thoughts. “My name is Zay─” He cut off remembering that he should blend in. He cleared his throat. “My name is Zee.”

          “You’re also British,” Stephen noted.

          “Yeah,” Zayn replied with a nod.

          “Then why are you in the States?”

          “Work.”

          Stephen bought it. “How long are you staying?” he asked. “Or do you live here now?”

          “Just until Christmas,” Zayn answered truthfully. “But I’ll be back again by May or June.”

          “Don’t you go to school?” Stephen asked curiously as he noticed that Zayn was young. His age actually if he got it right.

          “Nah,” Zayn answered. “I’m busy with my career.”

          Stephen was confused as to what is Zayn’s career. But maybe the tan boy was talking about his work. “You should try uni though,” he suggested smugly. “Its fun. Right Kay?” He turned to Kerra who pretended not to exist at the moment as she was trying to save her portfolio on a different CD.

          “Huh?” Kerra looked up from her laptop and had no idea what the two are talking about.

          “I was telling your relative that he should try going to college,” Stephen filled in.

          “Oh.” Kerra stared at Zayn quizzically as to how the topic was about college. The tan boy just gave her a small shrug. “Right,” she agreed turning back to Stephen. “College is superb.” But her voice didn’t sound enthusiastic that made Zayn and Stephen chuckled.

          “Very convincing,” Stephen mocked and rolled his eyes.

          “Why don’t you convince him?” Kerra retorted.

          “But he’s your relative.”

          “That doesn’t connect to anything.”

          “But it could be.” Stephen winked at the girl and she rolled her eyes at him this time.

          “You don’t sound convincing yourself,” Kerra muttered and got back to her work.

          “Be kind to me,” Stephen demanded in an amused voice. “Remember that I’m your lifeline.” Kerra looked up to him and he was smirking at her and wiggling his eyebrows.

          “Aren’t you the mean one tonight?” Kerra glared at Stephen but it wasn’t a scary one. “Couldn’t get any bird tonight eh?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

          “Bollocks,” Stephen said loudly. “I can get any girl I want. I got the fucking accent that American girls go crazy about.”

          Kerra laughed at how egoistic Stephen sounded and the lad joined her. Zayn cleared his throat to remind them that he was still there.

          “I’m sorry mate,” Stephen apologized as he turned to Zayn. “You probably get it more because you’ve stayed long in this country.” He smiled at something he remembered. “You have to admit the girls here do _dig_ our accent and British-ness.” He was smiling smugly again as he had managed to use an American term.

          “That’s not even a word,” Kerra inserted but not looking up from the screen of her laptop.

          “You’re just jealous,” Stephen retorted. “Bet it’s different for you lass.”

          “I didn’t come here for the blokes, mister,” Kerra replied and gave Stephen another not-so-scary glare. “I came here to be educated,” she added proudly.

          Stephen scoffed. “Always so boring.” He turned to Zayn. “Is she always like this?” he asked. “Even when you were younger, I mean.”

          “I think she’s fine the way she is,” Zayn answered seriously. “She’s very passionate about photography and she loves it so much. I don’t think that she’s boring because of that.”

          Stephen and Kerra stares at Zayn with disbelief. Kerra was overwhelmed by how Zayn had described her. The other boy on the other hand was quite taken aback because he was expecting that Zayn would help him tease Kerra, that’s what relatives do. Now he doubts about the real relationship between the two tan people.

**

          Perrie was on the cab back to hotel when her phone buzzed. It was a message from her boyfriend.

_Don’t wait up for me. I went somewhere. Sweet dreams babe. xoxo_

_-Zayn_

          She wanted to know where Zayn could be going at this late hour. She had bumped into some old friends on the way home and had dinner with them. It should have been a short meal but then they got lost in talking about the past, the present, and the future that she didn’t notice how late it was. She had texted Zayn as well that she would be late. But she hasn’t predicted that he would be too.

          Arriving at the hotel she found her friends inside hers and Zayn’s suite with a bottle of vodka and shot glass at the center of their broken circle. They must have been drinking long enough because Niall was a little bit red.

          “Hello,” she greeted them and put down all of her shopping bags on the floor after locking the door.

          “Hey Perrie.” Eleanor and Danielle greeted back at the same time and giggled at the coincidence of their statement.

          “Zayn went out,” Liam informed as always being responsible.

          “Yeah.” Perrie nodded. “He texted me.” She sat beside Niall. “Where did he go?”

          “He escorted Kerra,” Niall answered and chuckled to himself even when there wasn’t anything funny.

          “Kerra?” Perrie asked curiously. She had never heard of the girl before.

          “Uhuh.” Louis nodded. “Zayn’s distant cousin.”

          “Have you not met her yet?” Danielle asks.

          Perrie shook her head. “I haven’t heard of her name too.”

          Harry found it weird that Zayn would even hid his relative to Perrie whom he assumed had met the tan boy’s entire family. Zayn’s family is very big with all the Uncles, Aunts, and cousins that were very close to each other. Harry’s family was small compared to Zayn. The curly haired boy wasn’t able to keep in touch or meet some of his relatives.

          “Zayn’s sort of making her private,” Louis explained and made a face. “She’s very shy and so Zayn.” He chuckled. “But she’s a lovely girl.”

          “Yeah,” Eleanor agreed. “You’ll love her like you love Zayn and his family. And she’s going to fall for you like Zayn and his family.” She smiled at Perrie.

          Perrie just nodded and smiled back at Eleanor. But deep down she was bothered as to why Zayn hasn’t mention this distant cousin of his.

          “She’s a photographer too,” Niall announced and nobody knew why it would matter at the moment. “We attended her photo exhibit last time and Zayn modeled for her. She’s also doing our shoot tomorrow.”

          This bothered Perrie even more. Zayn hasn’t mentioned that he went to an exhibit. And more importantly, he hasn’t mentioned to her that he had modeled for this _cousin_. At least Zayn could have just bring it up even just once because he’s going to be proud of this cousin’s work. Zayn always tells her of his sisters’ latest achievements. Even the achievements of his other cousins. Then what’s up with this Kerra that he wouldn’t even mention her?

          Maybe she’ll get her answer when she meets Kerra. And if the girl was as lovely as Zayn’s family then everything will be fine. Her brain is just being creative again.

          “I think we should go to bed,” Liam announced standing up and helping Danielle to her feet.

          “I agree,” Louis approved earning him a disbelief look from his friends and girlfriend. He chuckled.

          “I never knew you could be very sober when you’re drunk,” says Harry as he stands up as well.

          Louis rolled his eyes. “I’m just excited Haz,” he explained. “You’re going out with Swift tomorrow and I need to see that.” He winked at the younger lad who scowled at him. He chuckled again, enjoying Harry’s annoyance.

          “It’s going to be okay Harry,” Niall soothed and squeezed the boy’s shoulder.

          “Heard you’re also staying at her hotel,” says Louis and Harry glared at him, that could have killed him if only looks could kill. “Maybe you should fuck her so she could make a song out of that.”

          Eleanor hit Louis on the shoulder. It wasn’t hard though but it had enough force to get the Doncaster lad back to planet Please-Use-Your-Brain.

          “We’re going to watch _Love Actually_ because weird as it is, it’s also her favorite movie too,” Harry informed angrily at Louis. Why was the oldest lad making his life even more miserable as it is anyway? But even if Louis was being a twat Harry knows that the boy still cares for him. He knows that Louis doesn’t want him to date Taylor because the boy believes in love. Corny as it may sound but Louis was a romantic person and the Haylor idea isn’t romance at all.

**

          “Thanks again S,” says Kerra as she handed her new CD to the pale boy. The boy smiled at her.

          “You’re welcome Kay,” Stephen replied. They are outside Starbucks now and saying their farewell. It was already 2 in the morning. “When are you going back?”

          Kerra glimpsed at Zayn for a short second and answered, “Not really sure.” She gave the boy a small smile when she saw worry crossing over his features. “I’ll call you when I get back yeah?” The boy nodded. “You take care.”

          “You too.” Stephen turned to Zayn. “It was nice meeting you mate.” He offered his hand to Zayn which the boy took. “You take care of Kerra okay?”

          “Of course,” Zayn promised as Stephen let go of his hand. “It was nice meeting you too.” He beamed a tiny smile at the boy.

         

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally appreciate your patience! A massive thank you! xoxo


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! :) xoxo

          “Thank you,” says Kerra and kissing Zayn on the cheek. They’re now outside Kerra’s suite.

          “You’re welcome,” Zayn replied digging his hands on his jean’s pockets.

          “I’ll see you in the morning.”

          “Yeah.”

          “Good night Zayn.” She smiled.

          “Good night Kerra.” He smiled back and started to walk towards his hotel suite.

          “I’ve missed you,” Kerra confessed making Zayn stop. She was wondering how Zayn hasn’t brought up the little prank she pulled on him but then they were even since he and his band mates had kidnapped her from her hotel. And now she was going to spend more time with all of them. It didn’t quite look like a punishment in all honesty.

          Zayn turned so he was facing Kerra and slowly walked up to her. He kissed her forehead and whispered, “I missed you too.”

          Kerra was glad that the feeling was mutual for it would have been embarrassing that she missed Zayn and the boy didn’t miss her back. “You’re getting soft on me Zayn,” she teased smiling with relief and happiness.

          “I can say the same for you,” Zayn replied and was grinning widely, showing his perfect white set of teeth. He intertwined their fingers together. “I’m going to hold on even how messily tangled this all seems. So don’t let go on me yet,” he says seriously as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, smelling Kerra’s not too sweet perfume. And he never felt more at home.

          “I won’t,” she promised, closing her eyes and framing the moment inside her brain to lock it away where she can always relive it anytime she wants.

          They didn’t know how long they stayed like that but if possible they want that moment forever. But forever never exist, only on fairy tales.

          “You have to go,” Kerra reminded and she couldn’t hide the sadness in her voice. Zayn frowned. “Perrie’s waiting for you,” she insisted, pulling up a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

          Zayn sighed in defeat. He had heard those lines a hundred times before. And each time Kerra says it, it breaks his heart into two. He’s such a fucking bastard who’s trying to sail two rivers at the same time.

          “Sleep tight Kerra,” says Zayn planting a kiss on the girl’s lips.

          Kerra just nodded. “You too.”

          Zayn watched the girl disappeared into her room and he headed for his own suite as well. He stopped right on his tracks though when he found Harry staring at him in surprise with eyes wide as a saucer pan.

          “Harry?” Zayn’s voice sounded low and nervous. There was no accusation in Harry’s eyes but Zayn felt guilty somehow. He knew he was wrong.

          Harry didn’t answer just blinked his eyes for several times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. His brain had been creating this weird imagines lately about Zayn and Kerra and now he doesn’t know which was real and fake.

          “I don’t understand,” Harry says as he found his voice back and shock finally leaving his body so his brain could process.

          With head bend low and looking like the whole world is on his shoulder, Zayn made his way to where Harry was standing. “It’s a long story,” Zayn explained, looking old even for his own age and Harry pitied the boy.

          Harry wanted to take whatever was bothering Zayn. And he doesn’t care if Zayn lied to him or the other lads. He doesn’t care if Zayn is cheating on Perrie with Kerra or maybe the other way around. He doesn’t care. He wanted to hear Zayn’s explanation because he knew the Bradford boy was sensible and wouldn’t do anything without thinking over it for like a thousands times.

          Being angry wasn’t really Harry’s forte. He gets upset a lot but he can never hate or be angry at anyone for a long period of time. He doesn’t hold grudges. And he never judges because he knows that there’s more to the picture than what one can see. He was a messed up fucked too. He had played dirt quite a few times and of course he got dirty but there would always be people ─ his friends and family ─ who helps him clean up. And right now, maybe that’s what Zayn needs.

          “We can talk it over at coffee tomorrow after my date with Taylor,” Harry suggested putting a hand on Zayn’s shoulder. The tan boy looked up and somehow a little of the baggage that Zayn was carrying on his back was lifted up by that simple sentence. Relief washed across his stunning face and Zayn didn’t look that old anymore.

          “Thanks mate.” He offered a small smile at Harry to which the pale boy returned with a bigger smile.

          “Anytime mate.” Harry removed his hand from Zayn’s shoulder, feeling better that the older boy wasn’t that depress as like he was a while ago. “You can always talk to me,” he reminded.

          Zayn nodded. “Tomorrow,” he promised.

          “Good night Zayn,” says Harry and planted a kiss on the older boy’s cheek that caught Zayn by surprise.

          “Good night to you too Harry,” Zayn replied, ruffling Harry’s curls and made his way to his own room where Perrie would be waiting.

          Harry stayed in the hallway to watch Zayn retreat to his suite and the pale boy begun to wonder how in the world these all happened. Zayn was cheating on Perrie, Kerra the sweet girl ─ who wouldn’t even hurt a fly ─ is helping Zayn to cheat on Perrie, Liam and Danielle are on a tight situation with their relationship out on the public again, then Louis is being hated for saying that Larry Stylinson was bullshit, and him doing this fake dating thing with Taylor Swift to help with the popularity of the band. The only peaceful one in their group was Niall. Maybe even the Irish lad has something on his plate and just won’t say to the group.

          He begged to the supreme beings that whatever Niall was trying to rein in wasn’t as huge as his or Zayn’s or Louis’ or Liam’s. The Mullingar lad is too fragile for issues like this. Niall wasn’t the youngest but Harry always felt that the lad was because he was so delicate. And Niall oozes this aura that makes you want to protect him. God knows, Harry would stop a tank if it means saving their little leprechaun. Niall is too precious to be even in this deep shit with all of them.

**

          “Zayn where’s your cousin?” Perrie asked suspiciously when all of them are at their breakfast table.

          Zayn’s eyes flicker to Harry’s direction and their gazes meet. He looked away immediately before anyone else catches them both. “She’s at the studio,” Zayn answered as he starts to slice his pancake.

          “She’s going to be very busy this morning,” Louis explained after finishing his third cup of tea that morning. “Paul is holding her hostage together with the studio team.”

          “Remember that she’s going to do this shoot,” Niall reminded Perrie as he was the one who informed her last night.

          Perrie nodded. “When will I meet her?” she asked Zayn.

          “During the photo shoot of course,” Harry answered for Zayn. The tan boy threw him a grateful look.

          Perrie frowned a little. Why can’t she meet her right now? She’s been dying to meet her. And not in a good kind of way. She’s nervous and she had a few nightmares last night as to what kind of girl this Kerra was.

          “That reminds me Harry,” Louis begun and a mischievous grin was on his lips. The youngest member of the band didn’t like it at all. “Good luck with your date with Taylor later.” He winked at Harry and chuckled when the boy scowled at him.

          “I’m very nervous actually,” Harry confessed, blushing.

          “Ohhh,” Louis cooed. “Our little baby is scared of Taylor.” He laughed.

          “He should be,” Niall says seriously. “She’s a man eater.” He shuddered. “Just call me if you need some saving mate.” He gave Harry an assuring smile.

          “Thanks Nialler.” Harry wanted to dramatically tear up because Niall was being sweet and acting really mature ─ unlike Louis who was the oldest. It’s sad that last night Harry was thinking of protecting Niall but it turns out he might be the one who needs rescuing. And Niall has volunteered to come to his aid. Their little Irish snowflake is all grown up and Harry felt like a proud parent ─ reason why he wanted to cry.

          This day is going to be long and Harry knows it will be.

**

          “Hey Harry!” Taylor greeted him enthusiastically. Harry can see her energy bouncing out of her body and everything in her contact just seems to glow. Well maybe not everything since it seems to be not affecting him at all.

          Harry sighed and wanted the day to be over. It was good that Lou and Lux were with him on this fake date with Taylor. Not only does he have to accompany her but he also has to put a face that screams I’m-So-Happy-I’m-Dating-Taylor-Swift.

          “Hey,” he greeted back but not sounding as excited as Swift. She didn’t notice anyway.

          “Heard you’re doing a photo shoot after this,” she chatter as they walk together in Central Park with Lou and Lux just a few feet behind them and some bodyguards. A hired paparazzi was taking a photo of them and Harry rolled his eyes in disbelief with the management’s desperation.

          “Yeah.”

          “What about this whole shooting of video thing?” she asked curiously.

          “I don’t know if I’m allowed to tell you,” he said a matter-of-fact.

          “Cool!” She was in awe. “I love secret things.” She smiled at him. “I’ll be looking forward to it then.” Another smile.

          Once more Harry wanted to ask Taylor if she ever gets tired of smiling. Her smiles aren’t that magical at all. It was too rehearsed.

          “Yeah.”

          “I have your necklace,” she informed. “I’ll give it back to you later at the hotel.” She winked at him and gave him another not-so-genuine smile. “And we’re going to watch _Love Actually._ ” She squealed a little like a fangirl.

          “Yeah.”

          “I can’t believe it’s also your favorite movie,” she says happily. “Isn’t it a little weird?”

          “Yeah.”

          “It’s also a British film,” she informed proudly. “Your accent is just really cute. I wish I have one too.” She frowned but smiled back again with a blink of an eye.

And Harry noted that Taylor has also a double personality disorder. Maybe he has one too. The thought made him frown.

“Can I have some of those?” she asked as she eyed on the nuts that Harry was eating.

“Yeah.” He offered her his snack and she took some nuts.

“Thanks,” she said and there goes another rehearsed smile. She ate the nuts. “These are delicious, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you excited for the MSG concert?” She ate another one.

“Yeah.”

“Ed Sheeran is opening it right?” She ate another one.

“Yeah.”

“He’s good,” she contemplated.

“Yeah.”

“Are you friends with him?” she asked, cocking her head to the side slightly.

“Yeah.”

“Can we hold hands?” she asked, halting Harry.

He took a deep breath and prayed to every saint for guidance and more patience. “Yeah,” he answered and took Taylor’s hands. She smiled at him this time it was a tiny bit real.

**

“But I can’t El,” Perrie says at Eleanor and Danielle as the two girls had asked her to accompany them on their shopping. “I have to meet Zayn’s cousin.”

“Oh bollocks,” says Eleanor. “She’ll be busy.”

“You can meet her next time,” added Danielle.

Perrie wanted to tell them that she doesn’t like next time at all. She’s been jumpy and fidgety ever since Kerra was mentioned. And she could never relax, not until she meets this cousin of Zayn.

“We would be very sad if you won’t come with us.” Eleanor pouted showing Perrie a puppy dog’s face.

“Besides you don’t want to overwhelm the poor girl during the most important part of her career,” Danielle says.

“I’m not going to overwhelm her,” Perrie replied.

“Yes you will,” Eleanor confirmed. “Your goddess aura is too much for that sweet little girl.” She smiled at Perrie lovingly. Even Eleanor was a little insecure of Perrie sometimes. Perrie and her gorgeous blonde hair and pale skin as if the girl had been bathing milk. To top it off, Perrie’s beautiful crystal blue eyes that Eleanor would never have. Zayn’s choice is always perfect.

“You have this effect on people,” Danielle agreed. “Like Zayn. You’re a female version of him actually.”

Perrie couldn’t help but laugh at the bluff her friends are telling her. “I do not,” she says in disbelief.

“Come on.” Eleanor crossed her arms on her chest. “And how did you manage to get Mr. Narcissist Malik’s attention then?”

“Personality,” Perrie answered not quite sure herself.

Danielle and Eleanor both shook their heads.

“It was your elegance and beauty love,” says Danielle.

“You’re kindness too,” Eleanor added.

Perrie blushed deeply at the compliment. And the two laughed at her, amused.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next time. xoxo


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a massive thank you for the read! :) And another massive thanks especially to trashyliesx for the comment and help! THis is gay smut. Don't know how end up like this. But I warned you so back off you don't dig it. This is very tame though. :) xoxo

          “A little more to the right Liam,” Kerra instructed with her camera at one hand and the other one pointing at the boys for direction. “That’s it,” she says when everything was where she wanted it to be. “Just have fun, yeah?” she told the boys and she was already getting herself lost behind her lens.

          The boys did pose after pose. Had their solos and group shot together. And Kerra never had this kind of fun in a photo shoot before. She wanted it to be serious and professional but it was entirely impossible with the lads goofing around and playing with each other. It didn’t look like a shoot for the world’s biggest boy band but it was more likely to be a shoot for elementary kids.

          “I’m hungry,” Niall whined when they were half way through the photo shoot. The other four rolled their eyes at him and Kerra giggled.

          “I think I need to change my lens,” Kerra lied and Niall shot her a Thank You look. “This might take a few minutes.” Since she was the photographer she had that kind of authority and she was glad to use it to help Niall. She headed to her bag to get the lens she lied about. She did change her lens but with the same one she had on her bag. It was an extra.

**

          “Thank you,” Harry says to Kerra. It was their first conversation alone. The other lads were teasing each other by the couch and Kerra was arranging her things.

          “For what?” Kerra asked confusedly and was very anxious because Harry was talking to her. She felt this little aura of hostility from him. She didn’t know why the boy was stoic on her.

          Harry looked down on the floor awkwardly, assessing if he should say it or tell her a simple, ‘Nevermind’. “What you did for Niall,” Harry explained looking up.

          Kerra smiled. “I would be happy to help Niall anytime,” she assured. “I would do the same for you and the other lads as well Harry,” she added.

          “Then why are you with Zayn?” Harry asked and Kerra almost dropped her bag on the floor.

          “What do you mean?” she asked pretending to be confused but her voice betrayed her.

          “I saw you two last night,” Harry whispered making sure no one is near enough to hear him. Kerra’s eyes widen and Harry didn’t need more proof than that.

          “I’m sorry Harry,” she says and holding back her tears. She felt so guilty and ashamed under Harry’s stare.

          Harry was expecting Kerra to deny it and maybe lie even more. Perhaps admit it then show off to him that she can walk away with it. He was even expecting her to act like it was no big deal. But no here she was looking so fragile and small.

          “I don’t even know how to explain myself,” she said honestly as she stared into those green eyes. They weren’t accusing but they held curiosity and a thirst for answers.

          “You don’t have too I guess,” says Harry. His eyes softening that made Kerra relaxed a little bit. “Zayn has promised to tell me everything.” He glanced at the tan boy with their friends. “I just don’t get it too I guess.”

          Kerra sighed. “It’s all complicated really,” she said. “Messily tangled is what it is.” She laughed without humor.

          “Tell me about it,” Harry agreed with a nod.

          “I hope Zayn can give you the answers that you seek.”

          “Maybe.” His brows furrowed. “Aren’t you going to ask me if I would tell the other boys?”

          Kerra shrugged. “Should I?”

          “I don’t know,” Harry answered even more confused. “Do you trust me?”

          “I do,” Kerra answered. “Because Zayn does.” She smiled.

          Harry was taken aback at how Zayn and Kerra’s relationship worked. How can Kerra have this kind of trust on Zayn when he was cheating on her? Or maybe it was her fault that Zayn was cheating on Perrie. Harry still could not wrap his head around it. Kerra was definitely right when she said this was all messily tangled.

          “Do you love him?” Harry asked that surprises Kerra again.

          She was silent for a moment, thinking of the proper response to the question. “I don’t know,” she answered a matter of fact because she really doesn’t know. “I’ve never been into relationships like this before Harry.” Harry wanted to say that a relationship like hers isn’t ordinary but he shut his mouth. “I don’t have anything to compare it to. The feelings I mean. It’s hard to describe really.

          “I don’t know what to feel because I don’t know where I stand,” she said sadly. “I could be there for him but I’m scared I’m not what he needs. And I want nothing but the best for him Harry. Even if it means I have to give him away to someone else.” She looked up to him, asking for his understanding.

          Harry nodded because he understood what Kerra had said. He wanted to keep Zayn to himself but he had never asked if he is what the tan boy needed. Or is Zayn even what he needed and not just someone he wanted?

**

          “That’s the whole story Haz,” Zayn said after telling the whole Kerra story to Harry. They’re at Harry’s hotel room, talking over a cup of tea.

          “So you meet her before Perrie,” Harry said trying to absorb the myriad of information Zayn has told him. The curly lad felt glad that Zayn had been very honest with him.

          Zayn nodded. “And now I don’t know what to do,” he said as he ran his hand through his hair, messing it up. “It’s all so fucked up. I’m all fucked up. And the worst part is that they too are…because of me.” He sounded like an ill man asking for death instead of dying slowly and suffer his sickness.

          Harry has no idea on what to do as well. Zayn was supposed to have the answers not him. He wasn’t smart and philosophical like the tan boy. To begin with, he wasn’t even logical or rational at times. But when Zayn looked up to him, chocolate eyes begging with desperation, Harry’s willing to move heaven and earth just to help Zayn.

          “Don’t worry Zayn,” Harry assured and held Zayn’s scrawny hand in his large ones. “Everything will be okay. I got your back,” he added and smiled at the tan boy, locking gazes with him so that Zayn would know he meant it.

          They say when you help someone with their own problem you forget yours. It was true because when Zayn’s lips crushed against Harry’s own, the curly boy had forgotten about Taylor and all the gloom her shadow had casted over his life. All that matters at the moment is that Zayn needed him and he needed the tan boy back. It was wrong, Harry knows that and he knows Zayn is informed of such knowledge too. But both were confused and in pain that something must be done to forget those two feelings that hurt them.

          Zayn’s hands were on Harry’s curls and tugging the tiny hairs just above the boy’s nape. The couch was turned into a bed when the tan boy pinned the younger lad beneath him, giving him more dominance. He wasn’t the submissive type and since Harry didn’t complain, he had taken it as an indication of the boy’s approval.

          Harry’s hands roam over Zayn’s upper body since he could barely move his lower half with the tan boy crushing him. Not that he hate it, but it was something new. Usually it was on him on top of a random female who wanted a shag. This time it was him who’s being pinned down and it excites him. And to make it more thrilling ─ proof of that is how his body arches when the tan boy grind their groins together ─ it was Zayn Malik who is holding him hostage on the couch. Any boy or girl would kill to be in his position right now.

          “Zayn?” Harry called his voice is getting pitchy like a girl and his breathing is erratic. He feels like he was running and a comfortable warm is taking over his body. The older boy has left his lips and now trailing pepper kisses on his jawlines and neck. The routine was repeated over and over again as if it was all Zayn meant to do in his life. Harry has to admit that Zayn was pretty good with his mouth. And that reminds Harry of how he had fantasized those awesome lips opening up for him and sucking him off.

          “Zayn,” Harry called again and tried with all his might ─and will power ─ to push the boy away from him just to give them both a little space between each other. Zayn finally stopped and looked down on Harry confusedly. “How far are we going to take this?” Harry asked and the disappointment in his voice, by the lack of Zayn’s lips on his skin, was expertly hidden.

          Zayn looked amused and confused at the same time. He doesn’t have any idea on how this will go and how far will they both let this go. “I guess we’re both crossing the bridge if you don’t mind,” he answered and grinned down at Harry.

          Harry wanted to ask what Zayn meant but his lips were occupied. All of his coherent thoughts went flying out of the window and he let himself melt into the touches and kisses of Zayn. He reminded himself that now isn’t the time to think because he’s tired of it.

          “Let’s get comfortable yeah?” Zayn said as he rose up from the couch and Harry followed. A cheeky smile was plastered into the tan boy’s lips and his eyes seemed to be a little darker than usual. Lust oozing out of it that Harry can perfectly see. And the younger lad knows his was the same.

          Zayn was holding Harry’s hand and leading them both into the boy’s huge bed. Harry looked like a small child being led into the park even though he was taller than Zayn. For once Harry liked not being in control.

          Locking the door of the bedroom, Zayn turned to Harry who looked confused and awkward but inevitably hot and sexy. Harry was standing next to white bed and Zayn can already imagine what he is going to do with the green eyed boy. Not wasting any moment, for the sexual spell might be broken, Zayn attacked Harry’s lips once more with his own and he felt every nerve in his body singing.

          It was a good thing they were both wearing buttoned polo that it was easier for Zayn to undress them both of their upper clothing. The recent tattoo of sparrows greeted Zayn when Harry was completely topless, except for a few necklaces. Harry was looking like a fragile little kid but the lust in the boy’s eyes contradicted that and Zayn focused on that instead.

          “Tell me how you want this?” Zayn asked in between kisses ─ and biting of lower lips.

          The question itself was enough to make Harry lose his sanity. Another indication that he was completely turned on right now was the tightening in his pants.

          “Harry,” Zayn called and tightened his hold unto Harry’s exposed hips that would probably leave a mark because he put much force that made the other boy moan. The sound contained both pleasure and pain, making Zayn smirked. He couldn’t believe he could wither Harry Edward Styles like this.

          “I want to fuck your mouth,” Harry replied and his voice was dripping with lust and want.

          Zayn smirked again at how needful of Harry was for him. He got on his knees and didn’t lose eye contact with the boy as he undid the boy’s fly.

Harry’s eyes were wide with surprise at first as he couldn’t believe Zayn Malik was on his knees in front of him. But that feeling vanished immediately when the tan boy pulls down his jeans and he stepped out of them. Cold air lingered on his bare thighs and the bulge on his boxers could no longer be hidden away. He can see Zayn’s smirk after seeing how hard he was and Harry gasped when the older boy pulled down his boxers as well, releasing his hard shaft.

“Never really done this before,” Zayn said with an apologetic smile.

 Harry had the decency to blush and he wanted to tell the boy that they should stop. But that thought remained inside his head when Zayn took his length into his mouth. Harry gasped again as his shaft was warmed up inside Zayn’s mouth and a moan escaped his lips. It was coming true. His wildest of dream was turning into a reality. Zayn Malik was on his knees and sucking him.

Zayn bobbed his head as he took Harry’s length in and out of his mouth. There was precome leaking from the head and it tasted salty. He continued the action and swirling his tongue at times when he reach the slit at the head. He had seen Kerra and Perrie do it and he’s assured that he’s doing it right since Harry was cursing a little and moaning beautifully.

“Zayn,” Harry warned as he felt the tightening in his groin, indication that he was nearing his climax. Zayn bid him no attention and continued deep throating him and when the tan boy swirled his tongue at the head of Harry’s head, it pushed the younger boy to his climax. Harry came in Zayn’s mouth, moaning the tan boy’s name. Some of the come were spilled on the floor which Harry reminded himself to clean later.

Zayn swallowed Harry’s come and was proud of himself for making the boy come. Another boost to his ego.

Harry fell back into the bed and was satisfied. His hair was in disarray and some were sticking in his forehead because of perspiration. His breath was uneven and his heart was beating so fast. He was smiling and never had he imagined experiencing a blowjob from Zayn.

Zayn towered over Harry’s spent form on the bed and the younger lad looked up to him. “Time to return the favor Haz,” Zayn said with the same smirk he had a while ago.

Harry rose up from the bed and sat on the edge, pulling Zayn by the waist to come near him. He expertly undid the older boy’s fly and pulled down his jeans and boxer all at once. He was satisfied that Zayn was hard too. He was about to suck the boy off but Zayn stepped back and that confused Harry.

“I don’t need you to blow me Haz,” Zayn announced a mischievous smile on his lips, that Harry can’t stop staring at. Those lips that were on Harry a while ago are enough to make him semi-hard again. “I want to _fuck_ you Haz.”

Harry felt his dick twitched at Zayn’s statement and even his own sanity happily left him. Zayn was determined and confident at the same time that Harry could no longer object to that offer. It wasn’t even an offer since he knows that Zayn would still fuck him even he said no. And he’s crazy enough not to say no.

Trapped in those lust filled hazel eyes and intoxicating voice that flags need and want, Harry was a deer on the headlights. He was Superman and Zayn was his kryptonite. And all he could do was nod eagerly and stupidly at Zayn after saying a short, “Okay.”

 

 

         

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thank you for reading! See you all soon! :) xoxo


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you for reading! :) xoxo

          Zayn woke up by a low ringing of his phone on the bedside table. He reached for it and answered.

          “Hello,” he said in a hoarse voice, annoyance was clearly present and he wants the caller to know, whoever it was calling him because he wasn’t able to catch the caller’s ID.

          _“Harry told me to wake you up,”_ Kerra says from the other end and she was clearly amused by the annoyance in Zayn’s voice.

          Zayn jerked from his lying position at the sound of Kerra’s voice and the mention of Harry’s name. He looked around the room and remembered what happened. He had sex with Harry and now ─ he looked at the empty sheets beside him ─ he was all alone. The younger boy had left him. Where could have Harry gone off to?

          _“He’s with Taylor,”_ Kerra explained, answering the question he didn’t asked out loud. Zayn couldn’t help but smile at how the girl could read him. They must be really soulmates because they have this weird connection.

          “Okay,” Zayn said and he wondered how much Harry had told Kerra about what happened. He doesn’t mind telling the truth but it was different if he tells her himself. What time was it anyway? He wondered and glanced at his phone’s digital clock.

          The annoying little thing stated that it was 5:00PM. _That explains the slight darkness_ , Zayn thought as he noticed the dimness of the room. And why was Harry with Taylor? The curly lad should be with him and cuddling, maybe, as they try to figure out their lives after what happened between them.

          _“You want to talk about it?”_ Kerra asked, reminding Zayn that he was still on the phone.

          “Later,” he answered.

          _“I’m just here yeah?”_ Kerra reminded as she hung up and Zayn almost heard sadness in her voice but who knows how true it was, he was intoxicated. By Harry Edward Styles.

          Zayn smiled all to himself and he can almost feel the warm body of the Harry right now against his skin. He frowned afterwards as he realized his lusting over Harry. It was not right. Kerra, Perrie, now Harry. He’s going to mess up their lives just because he can’t make up his freaking mind. And his heart isn’t cooperative at all as it somehow feels the same thing for the three. What was wrong with him?

          Before, he had questioned his normality because he cares for both Kerra and Perrie. Now he was questioning his humanity because he was falling for three people at the same time. Is that even possible? He only has one heart. What is he, an octopus?

          He needed a smoke because all of these were stressing him out. He got out of bed and dressed himself. When he was properly dressed he left Harry’s suite and proceeded to his own room. Perrie had been gone with Eleanor and Danielle so he had the room all to himself. He doesn’t know where the rest of his friends are. Louis, Liam, and Niall must be hanging out somewhere, playing Wii in Paul’s room was his best bet. And Kerra, knowing her, she must be in her room listening to music or reading a book or doing both.

          Zayn wanted to talk to Kerra about him and Harry but he needed to settle his nerves first. He needed a drag, immediately. He found his pack of cigarette on the bedside table. He took it with him out into the balcony. It was nearly twilight and it was safe to be outside at this hour with all the people rushing to get home, attend dinner parties or whatever mundane things they’ve got in mind. Even the fans might be busy with their own lives at this moment.

          The air was cold and the wide scene before Zayn made him relax. He felt claustrophobic inside the four corner walls of his suite. As he light up his cigarette with his lighter he felt even more comfortable with the smell of its smoke filling his nose. He took the drag to his lips and sucked in, puffing an air of smoke out after a few seconds. He felt lightheaded and it was what he was aiming for. He took another hit of his cigarette and repeated it till it was gone.

          He lit another stick and looked up into the orange sky and wished he didn’t feel the need to have someone’s company right now. But he was human. And no man is an island.

**

          “What are we going to do tonight Hazza?” Taylor asked the curly haired lad when they reached her suite. She was sitting with him on the couch.

           They were told to spend the night together much to Harry’s displeasure but, yet again, Taylor was oblivious to this. Maybe she isn’t so ignorant but pretended to be one.

           “I don’t know,” Harry answered bluntly. He had left before Zayn had even awoken because Ethan had been bothering him about this spending-the-night-with-Taylor thing. All Harry wanted was to cuddle with Zayn till the tan boy wakes up and maybe they could talk. Or just lay there and be lost in the warmth of each other’s body.

           “Can we watch _Love Actually_?” Taylor asked, surprising Harry.

           “ _Love Acually_ ,” Harry repeated and he wondered if he heard her right.

           “Yes,” Taylor answered with a smile.

 _There’s that smile again_ , Harry thought.

           “It’s my favorite movie remember?” she said, hopeful that Harry remembers. But then the blankness in his eyes tells her that he doesn’t have a clue. “And it’s yours too,” she added and giggled, trying to hide the disappointment she felt. They talked about it just this morning and yet he forgot. _He must have many things in his mind_ , she thought.

           “I’m sorry,” Harry muttered sadly. “I can’t do this okay?” He looked straight into Taylor’s blue eyes. Maybe deep down, she isn’t as bad as they all think. Maybe she’s not as evil as he was imagining her to be.

            “It’s okay,” Taylor assured and squeezed Harry’s hand, giving him another smile. “Are you seeing someone else?”

            Harry blushed at the question because Zayn’s face flashed inside his mind. Zayn and his stunning perfection that will be the death of Harry. He clearly remembered the late afternoon he had spent with the tan boy in his arms and Zayn’s arms were on him.

            “I really like you Harry,” Taylor confessed. “And if possible, I want _this_ to work out.”

            Harry’s eyes widen at what he heard. Taylor Swift likes him. It was like a crush right? Nothing serious than that he hopes because he could not reciprocate her feelings.

            “You’re very sweet Harry,” Taylor says and smiled shyly at Harry. “You agreed to this and have to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of your band mates. I adore that attitude of yours. You’re selfless.” She batted her lashes at him and leaned closer to him. “Maybe I could help you forget about her as I try and make you fall for me…” She trailed off when she captured Harry’s lips.

            Now Harry’s eyes widen even more. Taylor Swift was kissing him. What should he do? Should he kiss her back because his body wasn’t alive anymore? His stomach didn’t churn like a washing machine and he doesn’t see sparks fly.

            Taylor was pushy though because she was harshly asking for a response from him. Harry was once again on the submissive position and this time he wasn’t comfortable with it.

            “What’s wrong?” Taylor asked. Her face was just an inch away from his face so she could look into his emerald eyes. Her lovely blue eyes were searching his green orbs for answer, Harry can tell.

             “Nothing,” he answered and closed his eyes to kiss Taylor. He can almost feel the happiness oozing out of the girl’s body because her wish was coming true.

            But as he kissed Taylor all Harry could picture was kissing Zayn. He longed for the rough kisses only Zayn could execute not like this sweet and lazy kissing Swift was offering him. He wanted the hard chiseled jaws and not this smooth one that Taylor has. He wanted the smell of Zayn’s aftershave and not the blonde girl’s sweet perfume.

             Harry opened his eyes and blue lustful eyes were looking at him. Not the hazel ones that he wanted so bad, that turned him on.

            “I can’t do this,” he muttered as he rose up from the couch, pushing Taylor a little to be free himself of her weight. She wasn’t heavy or anything. It was just he needed a different presence with him right now.

             Harry left the room and saw one of Ethan’s minions outside, on the hallways. The huge bloke looked at Harry with a frown.

             “You’re not allowed to leave,” the guy said.

             “I don’t care,” Harry snapped, feeling tired of going along with this bullshit. He walked towards the elevator but the bloke halted him, grabbing Harry by the arm.

             “Ethan said…” The man trailed off when Harry forcefully removed his arm from the man’s grip.

             “Fuck Ethan!” Harry screamed. His arm hurt because he yanked it from the man’s stronghold. He wanted to cry because he was trapped and hopeless.

             “I don’t like this kid,” the man said softly. “But if you leave now, I’m going to lose my job.”

             Harry looked up to the man because he was taller than he was. “You will?”

             The man nodded. “And I need money right now,” the man said. Harry can tell that the man wasn’t lying. “My daughter’s sick. She has leukemia. And she needed a bone transplant.” He sighed, remembering his little girl. “I don’t know what’s wrong with your life right now kid but I’m as fucked up as you are.

             “I didn’t choose this too you know,” he told Harry and a small dry smile was on his lips. “We all don’t want to be in bad situations. It happens anyway. And the only thing we can do is embrace it and try to work it out.”

            There was short moment of silence before Harry said, “Don’t worry mate.” He smiled at the bloke. “You’re not going to lose your job.”

            The man smiled. “Thanks kid.”

           “Harry,” he said. “You can call me Harry.”

            The man nodded. “Thanks Harry.”

           “What’s your name sir?” Harry asked.

           “Joseph,” the man answered.

           “Want to join us inside Joseph?” Harry asked and the man looked startled. “We’re going to watch _Love Actually_. And I want to hear more about your daughter.” He smiled at the older man.

          “Well, she’s 13 and she’s a fan of yours,” the man said as they proceed to enter Taylor’s suite.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next time! Massive thanks! :) xoxo


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you! :) xoxo

          Louis knew why Liam was so upset that morning. Harry had arrived from Taylor’s hotel and wouldn’t stop talking about some bloke’s daughter named Ellie. The curly lad wanted them all to visit Ellie when she gets home from the hospital. And Louis was glad that the night spent with Taylor didn’t have bad effect on Harry. But he clearly noted that the youngest member hasn’t spoken of the blonde singer even once since he arrived.

          Nothing excites Harry more than helping other people. And Louis was also excited to make this Ellie kid happy since she made Harry happy. That lessens Louis’ worry on the green eyed boy and he has to face the trouble with Liam right now. It all begun when Liam and Danielle went for a walk that morning on NY. Some crazy fan hit Danielle while Liam was busy taking picture with another fan.

          Liam was now moping around on his shared suite with Danielle because he wasn’t able to protect her from getting hurt. Danielle assured Liam that she was fine and told him that he couldn’t help things from happening. And Liam won’t listen to her and blamed himself for putting her in that situation. Liam could be a little over the top depressing sometimes.

          Louis understands though because he would be as upset as Liam if it happened to Eleanor. He wanted to blame the lunatic fan who hit Danielle for making Liam unhappy. Why can’t some fans understand that they’re humans and have lives to be spent living? It even sounds normal if a fan insults them, but to hurt the people they love is another story. Who in their right mind would do that anyway?

          “You look old,” Eleanor says and smiled wickedly at her boyfriend.

          Louis smiled back at the girl and thanked the heavens for giving him a girlfriend with a sense of humor. “I’m forever young babe,” he retorted and kissed her forehead. They were enjoying their cup of tea on their bed.

          “How am I suppose to get my wish of growing old with you then?” she asked with mocking a pout.

          Louis set aside his cup of tea to the bedside table and tickled Eleanor. The girl giggled and tried her very best not to spill her tea on the bed.

          “Louis,” she gasped and giggled again. “The tea.”

          Louis stopped and kissed his girlfriend’s forehead then pecked her lips. “I love you.” He smiled lovingly at Eleanor as he stared into her eyes, remembering again how fortunate he was for having her in his life.

          Eleanor kissed the tip of his nose. “I love you too.” She disposed her cup of tea on the bedside table and scooted closer to her boyfriend. “Don’t worry about Liam,” she says, cupping Louis’ face. “He’s going to be alright. Danielle is with him. They’re both going to be fine.” She gave him a smile of assurance.

          Louis nodded, trusting the girl. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite cup of tea?” Louis asked, smiling like a little kid. “You soothe me always.” He pulled Eleanor closer to him so he could cuddle her. “No tea can be compared to you,” he added and kissed the top of her head.

          Eleanor giggled and rolled her eyes. “Should I be bothered that you’re comparing me to a cup of tea?”

          Louis titled Eleanor’s head so he could look at her. “You’re beautiful and hot,” says Louis. “And that my love, makes you a perfect girl and the most wonderful cup of tea.” He kissed her cheek.

          Eleanor smiled. “Does it make me a human cup of tea then?”

          Louis nodded. “You’re my personal doze of Eleanor Calder tea.”

          “I like it,” she replied and smiled again.

          “You’re one of a kind,” he says. “Special.”

          “Same as you are,” she added and snuggled even more into Louis, smelling his perfume and that comforted her.

**

          “Kerra?” Harry was surprised to see the tan girl outside the hotel room he and Taylor were using. It was the second night that he and the blonde singer were force to stay together. And after asking Joseph to join them for _Love Actually_ , Taylor had been off.

          “We need to talk,” the tan girl said.

          Harry wondered how she had passed through Joseph. “Sure,” he answered. “Tomorrow.”

          “No,” she said stubbornly that irritated Harry a little. The boy had had enough of pissed off women. He already had Taylor for that part and now Kerra wanted to be casted too.

          “Kerra, I can’t…” he trailed off when Taylor came to the door.

          “Is this her?” Taylor asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at Kerra from head to toe. Inspecting her like she’s looking for a new acoustic guitar.

          “What?” Harry asked, turning to Taylor.

          “The girl that you like,” the blonde replied, her eyes not leaving Kerra.

          Kerra burst out laughing and so did Harry. Taylor looked at them suspiciously and confusedly.

          “Isn’t she?” Taylor asked, turning to Harry. The boy was still laughing so she faced the tan girl instead. “Who are you?” She scowled at her. “A creepy fan?”

          Another burst of laughter from the tan girl and the pale boy.

          “Will you two stop laughing,” Taylor demanded like a little girl asking for a Barbie doll. She was clearly pissed off.

          “I’m sorry,” Kerra says when she stopped snickering. Her stomach hurt a little from laughter. “It’s nice to meet you Miss Swift.” She smiled at the pale girl. “I’m Kerra.” She offered her hand.

          Taylor stared at her extended hand then at her. She shook hand with the tan girl. “I will ask again. Who are you?” Taylor demanded in the same pitchy voice and yanked her hand away from the tan girl’s grasp.

          “I’m ─”

          But Kerra was cut off by Harry saying, “She’s my girlfriend.”

          “What?” Kerra and Taylor both gasped and stared wildly at the pale boy.

          “You’re cheating on me?” Taylor shouted angrily. “You bastard! I knew it!” Her face was red with anger and you can see smoke coming out of her nostrils. “Men are all the same!”

          “Technically we aren’t official,” says Harry, smiling widely at Taylor. Taunting more of the girl’s temper. “I don’t like you, like you.”

          Hurt flashed across the blue eyes but then anger won. “But we kiss,” she reasoned out still unable to believe what Harry had said. “You kissed me back. We both love _Love Actually_. I was nice to you.” She was on the verge of crying. “I love you. And you didn’t love me back?” The question more likely came out as a statement.

          Harry shrugged. “I never did,” he confessed. “We both know we’re forced into this.”

          “Yes. I know,” she screamed, fuming with hatred and disbelief. “But I thought I was making you fall for me.”

          Kerra saw the hurt once more in the blonde girl’s eyes and felt pity for her. Harry had a guilty expression on his face but he kept hiding it. He doesn’t want to lead Taylor on.

          “I couldn’t do that love,” says Harry and placed a hand on Taylor’s skinny shoulder. “I couldn’t love you when my heart belongs to someone else.” His voice was sad and thoughts of Zayn evaded his mind.

          Taylor glances at Kerra, believing that the girl was the one Harry was referring of being in love with. Kerra looked down on the floor unable to meet the blonde girl’s melancholic stare. It was painful to look at someone getting hurt because of you.

          “I’m sorry,” Harry said, getting Taylor’s attention again.

          She shrugged Harry’s hand. “I’m sorry too,” she said and slapped the curly lad which shocked both Harry and Kerra. “That was for lying to me and kissing me when you clearly aren’t available.” The two were still immobile so Taylor decided to leave them alone.

          “Where are you going?” Harry asked after overcoming his shock. He wasn’t angry at all. He was even relieved that it was already clear to Taylor what he truly felt. His left hand was on his left cheek trying to assess how much damage the girl made on his face.

          “To another room,” Taylor answered. “You both should talk.” She continued walking down the hall.

          “Wait,” Harry said, halting Taylor.

          “I won’t tell,” Taylor assured after she turned to face Harry and Kerra. There’s that hurt on her eyes again, Kerra noted. “We’ll keep up this façade.” And with that she left.

          “Aren’t you supposed to stop her?” Harry asked Joseph, who kept quiet and watched the entire time.

          Joseph shrugged. “Ethan only ordered to keep _you_ ,” he pointed at Harry, “inside but not Barbie girl.” He grinned.

          Harry nodded. “Okay.” He stared at Joseph.

          “I won’t tell Ethan,” Joseph promised. “And you better get that fix kid. It might leave a mark. We… err… don’t want to explain that to the boss.”

          “Yeah,” Harry agreed. “Thanks.” He smiled at the man, who smiled back at him. He turned to Kerra. “Want to get inside?”

          Kerra got in before Harry changed his mind. If it weren’t that important she wouldn’t even bombard into him like this. And now she might just have gotten Harry into trouble. Well, it wasn’t her who suggested to the curly lad to be introduced to Taylor Swift as his girlfriend. Maybe she had brought the idea into his small and stupid brain.

          “How’s the cheek?” Kerra asked when they were inside the suite, Harry closing and locking the door.

          “It’s going to be fine,” he assured and felt his cheek stinging a little. Must have been the rings Taylor was wearing that made much of the damage. As he contemplated this theory he saw Kerra rummaging through the fridge. “What are you doing?”

          “You heard Joseph,” says Kerra as she closed the fridge. In her hand was a bottle of cold beer.

          “You’re going to make me drink?” Harry asked confusedly.

          “It’s not for your stomach silly,” Kerra says and chuckled. Harry looked so young when his brows are creased with confusion, Kerra observed. “This is for your cheek.” She sat beside him on the couch and removed his hand from the reddening cheek. She gently placed the cold glass on the damaged area and Harry flinched a little. “She got you good.” She chuckled again.

          Harry rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

          “If she hadn’t slapped you, I would have.” Kerra scowled at Harry.

          “What did I do to you?”

          It was Kerra’s time to roll her eyes on the boy. “I’m your girlfriend. Really?” The idea disgusted her. “Can’t you hire a supermodel instead?”

          “Are you saying that you don’t want to be my girlfriend?”

          “Harry,” she said, holding back the urge to hit him with the bottle in her hand that was also on Harry’s cheek. “How could you put me that situation?”

          “What situation?”

          “That situation when you’ve thrown golden coins for stones.”

          Harry laughed, jerking his head back with so much amusement. “I can’t believe you,” he said as he looked into Kerra’s hazel eyes, like Zayn’s.

          “See it’s funny,” she pointed out. “And stupid.”

          “It is stupid,” Harry agreed. “But not because I have thrown away gold coins for stones.” He smiled at the metaphor again. “But because you’re being a complete idiot for thinking you’re a stone.

          “How many times do you have to hear from people that you’re a jewel yourself?” Harry asked, amused.

          “But that was Taylor Swift,” she reminded.

          “Yes,” Harry agreed and nodded. “She’s also a girl just like you.”

          “A girl that is beyond beautiful than I am.”

          Harry shook his head. “She is beautiful,” Harry agreed again. “But that doesn’t make you any less beautiful than she is.” He smiled at the girl and hoped she can see the truth in his words.

          “But she’s Taylor Swift.”

          Harry rolled his eyes again. “It’s just a name.”

          Kerra did not reply but just stared at Harry. She wanted to believe the curly lad but what he was talking about can only be found in fairy tale books. That doesn’t happen in the real world. If you’re Taylor Swift then you’re pretty. But if you’re Kerra, then you simply just a girl.

          “This might be far from my point but somehow it connects,” Harry spoke up again. “Remember what Zayn said? ‘Just because you don’t have prince doesn’t mean you’re not a princess.’ It’s like that with you too. Just because you don’t have a tiara like Taylor doesn’t mean you’re not a princess.” He reached out and took Kerra’s free hand. “You’re a princess too Kerra.” He smiled as the girl searched his eyes for assurance.

          Kerra nodded. “Thanks Harry.”

          “No problem love,” says Harry, glad that he had convinced the girl. Sometimes he couldn’t even convince himself and it was something new to be able to assure someone else.

          Another moment of silence then Harry asked, “What were you here for again?”

          And with that Kerra remembered the very important matter she needed to discuss with the pale boy. “It’s about Zayn…”

 

         

         

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Till next time yeah? Massive thanks! :) xoxo


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

“This is it lads,” Liam announced and he can feel the tension surrounding them all. He was as nervous as the other four boys.

          “Have you brushed your teeth Zayn?” Louis asked in a tease.

          Zayn grinned at Louis. “Done.”

          They all laughed.

          “I can’t believe this,” Niall muttered both excited and nervous. “This is it. MSG.Another thing to be crossed out from our bucket list.”

          “I don’t remember us having a bucket list,” Harry said, looking at Niall confusedly.

          “Because we don’t.” Louis laughed and they all joined in, relaxing some of the nerves.

          “You’re going to be on in 2 minutes,” the director announced and as if on cue the boys’ hearts beat even faster.

          Ed Sheeran was finishing his last song for the night and One Direction was standing by to claim the stage. The three girlfriends suddenly popped up.

          “Hey,” Danielle greeted Liam as her arms snake behind his neck. “You’re going to be great.” She smiled at him for encouragement.

          “Thanks babe,” Liam said and pecked on his girlfriend’s lips.

          “Where is my good luck kiss?” Louis whined at Eleanor.

          “So childish,” Eleanor muttered but complied to Louis’ wish. But instead of a peck they shared a long passionate kiss.

          Louis pulled back, dazed. “Now I’m high,” he says and everybody laughed.

          “I’m already proud Zayn,” Perrie whispered into Zayn’s ear as they embrace. “Have fun okay?”

          Zayn nodded and pulled away so he could kiss her. And at the corner of his eyes he saw Harry frowning as he looked at them. Or maybe Zayn was just imagining it.

          “Where’s Kerra?” Niall asked.

          “Right here.”Kerra has a camera on her hand as she joined the group.

          Perrie’s eyes darted immediately to the tan girl whom she was dying to meet. Kerra noticed the stare the blue eyed girl gave her and she was once again treated like a specimen. Why is she being inspected anyway?

          “One minute lads,” the director announced.

          The lads gave the four ladies a bear hug and a kissed on the cheek. The girls wished them luck and the boys thanked them as they leave.

          “We should take a photo of this,” Danielle suggested happily.

          “We’re going to caption it ‘Proud Girlfriends’,” Eleanor added.

          “What about Taylor?” Perrie asked, remembering that Harry is dating Taylor.

          “We all know they are not in love,” Eleanor said and Perrie frowned, pitying the other blonde singer who might be at the VIP’s right now to show her support for Harry.

          “But who’s going to take the picture?” Danielle asked worriedly.

          “Me,” Kerra volunteered. And once again Perrie has her blue eyes on the tan girl. “I’ll take your photo.”

          “Thank you love,” Perrie said, warming up at Kerra because she looked sweet like what Danielle and Eleanor had described. And it was nice of the tan girl to volunteer.

          “Use my iPhone,” Eleanor suggested as she gives the tan girl her white iPhone. “I’ll tweet it.” She smiled, excited.

          Kerra took the three’s picture and returned the phone to its owner. The three ladies hovered over the phone and criticized the picture.

          “It’s a lovely photo love,” says Perrie and embraced Kerra. “Thank you,” she whispered on the girl’s ear.

          Kerra was taken aback and speechless by Perrie’s gesture.

          Perrie pulled away, remembering that she might have just freaked the tan girl out. “I’m sorry.” She blushed. “I was very excited to see you.”

          Kerra shook her head. “It’s okay.”

          “I’m always eager to meet Zayn’s relatives,” she explained. “My family isn’t that large and I was overjoyed when I found out that Zayn is very close with his. And having so many relatives.” She smiled. “Christmases must be really brilliant.”

          “It is,” Kerra agreed and shoved away the hesitation. “It’s nice to meet you Perrie.”

          Perrie smiled. “The pleasure is all mine.”

          “Tweeted it,” Eleanor squealed.

          “The after party is going to be fabulous!” Danielle said.

          “I can’t wait for it too,” Eleanor agreed. “Let’s go see the lads first. I’m sure they’re going to smash it.” She grinned at the other three girls.

          “You speak more than an American,” Danielle teased Eleanor.

          “I’ve been practicing sweetheart,” Eleanor replied in American accent.

          “Bloody brilliant babe,” Danielle congratulated.

          “Massive thanks,” Eleanor says and winked at her dancer best friend.

          “Come on lots.” Danielle headed to the VIP area where they will be seated. Eleanor followed but Perrie stayed behind when she saw Kerra not following.

          “Something wrong love?”Perrie asked the tan girl worriedly.

          Kerra shook her head. “Nothing.”

          “You should get use to those two,” says Perrie as she smiled at the two ladies’ direction. “They’re hyper as the lads.”

          “They are very lovely.” The tan girl smiled. “And so are you.”

          Perrie blushed and smiled at the tan girl. “Thank you,” she said reaching out to hold Kerra’s hand. “You’re beautiful too babe. I might not know you very well but I can sense it.” She smiled again.

          Kerra wanted to disagree and tell Perrie what a snake she had been behind the blonde girl’s back but then it would hurt everyone. It was better that Perrie didn’t know. That Perrie would never know.

          “You look sad,” Perrie commented sympathetically.

          “Just homesick,” Kerra explained.

          Perrie pulled the girl in a tight hug. “Think of us as your family as of the moment okay?”

          “Thanks,” Kerra answered and Perrie pulled away.

          “Now let’s go watch the lads,” the blonde girl suggested with the same warm and beautiful smile.

          Kerra nodded. “Let me just go to the loo first.”

          “Sure. But don’t take too long or you’re going to miss the funny parts,” she reminded before leaving.

**

          The concert was a blast. The boys had fun and they can tell that the fans had the time of their lives too. They were now at the after party and dancing and drinking the night away. Celebrating for yet another triumphant performance and this time it was on Madison Square Garden, the biggest arena in the world.

          “Here’s to every single one of us for making this occasion possible and perfect,” says Louis as they all toasted their glass. “And to a more brilliant future.”

          There was music and people were dancing. Some of the fans who got to came were taking pictures with the boys and having a good time, just being able to attend the One Direction MSG Concert after party.

          The Haylor couple was requested to dance and they reluctantly did with Harry almost injuring Taylor. Or maybe he meant to do that so it would look like an accident if something bad happens. Liam and Danielle were slow dancing despite the disco music. Louis and Eleanor were dancing like kids because the brunet was showing off his new dance moves. Niall was in the corner, eating his sandwich peacefully with a pit of beer. Zayn and Perrie sat on the corner, holding hands, and watching the crazy happenings on the party.

          “I’m sorry you’re not going to be able to dance,” Zayn said.

          “Don’t be,” Perrie assured. “I wouldn’t trade your presence for the grandest dance floor in the entire universe.” She kissed his cheek that made him smile.

          “Thanks,” he said still smiling.

          “It’s enough for me that I’m the reason behind that smile plastered on your lips right now,” Perrie said.

          “And I want to be the reason behind yours too.” Zayn leaned in to Perrie.

          “You always are,” Perrie guaranteed and Zayn closed the distance between their lips.

          And as the party come into its peek Zayn noticed something.

          “Have you seen Kerra?” the tan boy asked his Irish friend. Niall shook his head. “Okay. Thanks.” Zayn wondered where the girl could be. She wasn’t up for a party but of course she makes exception for friends.

          Zayn went out to the hallways, expecting to see Kerra there since it was the only place to escape to. There was no balcony or rooftop at the venue and the hallway was the best place of tranquility. The music drowned down as he stepped into the bright hallways that almost blinded him. The room inside was semi dim and his eyes have to adjust a little.

          He looked from left to right and found both sides empty. _Where could she be?_ he asked mutely. He hadn’t seen her the whole night. The last time he saw her was when before they performed. And she wasn’t with the girls on the VIP area. She must not have come to the after party after all.

          Getting his phone out of his pocket he dialed Kerra’s number. For the first time in their entire _relationship_ , he reached Kerra’s voicemail. That never happened before and he was surmising it never will, but alas he was wrong. Here he was listening to the robotic voice of Kerra asking him to leave a message after a beep. But instead of leaving one he hung up. Something is wrong and Zayn knew it.

          He went back inside to tell Perrie he has to leave early.

          “Hey,” he said.

          Perrie was getting another drink and turned to face him. “Hey babe,” she said but noticed the worry all over his face. “Is everything okay?”

          “Yeah.” He nodded and smiled a little to assure Perrie. And maybe himself. “I just…” He couldn’t find the right words. Perrie was patient though. “It’s Kerra.”

          “Is she okay?” Perrie asked, worried as well.

          “Yeah, she is.” He nodded again. At the corner of his eyes he saw Harry looking at them. “It’s an emergency.”

          “Want me to come?” she asked in a more worried tone.

          “No.” He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair while his free hand dug through his pocket. “It’s fine.” He smiled that small smile again. “I just need to go now and I’m telling you so you don’t have to worry.”

          Perrie wanted to say that she’s even worried now but relieved that Zayn hasn’t text her instead of telling her personally. So she shut her mouth.

          “I might be late,” Zayn notified. “Or maybe back the next day so don’t worry yeah?” Perrie could only nod. “And tell the lads for me please.”

          “Sure,” she said. Zayn kissed her and pulled away, looking into her eyes. “Be careful.” Zayn nodded and left for the door and Perrie watched her boyfriend go, fearing something bad had happened to Kerra and might happen to Zayn.

          Zayn bolted out of the door quickly not even glancing back so he didn’t know Harry followed him out to the empty hall. The lights blinding them both for a short while.

          “Zayn,” Harry called when they were out on the hall. Zayn turned on his heels, knowing who called him. “Where are you going?” Harry asked, humor in his voice. “I hope you’re not chickening out on a party like this.” He wiggled his eyebrows at the older lad and smiled smugly at him.

          “I’m going to find Kerra,” Zayn answered that erased the smile on Harry’s face. The younger lad looked serious and old.

          “She’s not here?”

          “Apparently not.”

Harry can hear the sarcasm in Zayn’s voice.

          “Where is she?”

          Zayn shrugged. “I don’t know.”

          “Want me to come with you?”

          “It’s okay.” He smiled. “I got this.”

          Harry was about to insist but then Paul showed up on the door and saw the two lads. The boys were looking at him like they were doing something mischievous.

          “What are you lads doing here?” Paul asked alarmingly. He glanced at Zayn for answer then at Harry. “And Harry, Ethan wants you inside. Taylor’s been looking for you.” Harry rolled his eyes and sighed with frustration. “The audience wanted the Haylor couple to dance again.”

          “I can’t Paul,” Harry whined, stomping his feet on the floor like a little boy.

          Paul just shrugged. “Get in,” he told the younger lad.

          Harry stared at Zayn then back at Paul. “What about Zayn?”

          Paul now turned to Zayn who looked like a deer on the headlights. “What are you doing here as well?”

          Zayn brainstormed and found the perfect lie. “I needed a smoke,” he said. And Harry scowled because the boy knew he was lying.

          Paul believed Zayn and gave the tan boy a nod of approval. “You get in now Harold,” he ordered.

          Harry made a whining sound again that Zayn chuckled at. The curly boy glared at Zayn that only made the tan boy laugh. “Zayn can’t stay in the corridor,” he told Paul. “He might runaway.”

          Paul looked confusedly at Harry and the boy didn’t get to see the dagger like stare that Zayn gave him. “And you can’t smoke here by the way. Might ring the fire alarm,” the man told Zayn that brought a frown to the tan boy’s face. Harry was smiling triumphantly at Zayn and like a five year old, stuck his tongue out on the older lad.

          “I will do it outside then,” Zayn suggested and Harry’s frown was back.

          “He would runaway Paul,” Harry insisted at the bloke.

          “I wouldn’t do that,” Zayn lied.

          “Yes, he would.”

          “No, I won’t.”

          “Paul.”

          “Paul.”

          “Enough,” Paul screamed that silence them both. “You get in there,” he ordered Harry and pointed to the party location.

          “But Zayn ─” Harry begun but Paul cut him off with a, “I’ll watch him. Now go.” And the curly lad dragged his feet back to the party.

          “I’m kind of not feeling well,” Zayn told Paul when Harry was safely inside. If he used this lie when the green eyed boy was present, Harry would use it too. “Can I just go back to the hotel?”

          “I’ll take you there,” Paul said.

          “But who will watch out for the other lads?” Zayn asked. “Especially Harry.”

          “Don’t worry,” Paul said. “Max and his friends are in there.” He meant the other member of the security team, all big men with huge biceps and body.

          “Okay.” Zayn nodded.

**

          Kerra’s hotel door opened and she doesn’t know what to do when she found that the trespasser was Zayn, still in his suit.

“Zayn,” she muttered and her eyes were wide with shock. She saw his eyes fell on the pack suitcase besides her and she doesn’t know what to say. Not there was anything else to be said.

“You’re leaving,” Zayn pointed out. The statement sounding like a question and an accusation all at the same time, but there was a hint of disbelief in his voice too.

 

                   


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

        “You’re leaving,” Zayn said.

  
        Kerra just stood there and wanted to ask how her luck can be so damn bad even at times like this. Harry should have called her. Then she remembered that her phone was on silent. The curly lad must have contacted her but she didn’t hear. _Just my luck_ , she thought and sighed deeply.

  
        “Kerra,” Zayn called. “Answer me,” he begged as he closed the distance between them. “Where are you going?”

  
        The girl saw the softness and fear in Zayn’s eyes and wanted them to go away but she can’t do that. “Home,” she answered.

  
        “Why?”

  
        She sighed again, buying time to give the best answer possible. But the prolonging only confirmed Zayn’s fears as his features pictured a broken boy.

  
        “You have to let me go,” she said and Zayn knew she was letting go. And there was nothing he can do. He doesn’t want to do anything that would make it harder for them both. For her. He saw this day coming but he didn’t know it would come so fast. He wasn’t ready. He will never be ready anyway.

  
        “Do you really want this?” he asked as he stared into Kerra’s eyes, searching for a ray of light that might save whatever they were.

  
         Kerra nodded and stared at the floor. She knew she would cry or cave in into those gorgeous brown that eyes she had loved. She needs to be firm and strong.

  
        “Did you love me?” He was hoping to get the answers to his question before to clear his head and free his brain for the agony of “What if’s”. And a part of him wanted to convince the girl that they should stay whatever they are.

  
        Kerra looked up upon hearing the question. “With all my heart and being,” she answered truthfully and without hesitation.

  
        “Then why do you have to leave?” He was unable to see the logic.

  
        “I’m falling for you Zayn. And I want you to catch me.” She cupped Zayn’s left cheek and Zayn leaned in into her palms and held it there with his both hands. He closed his eyes to savor the scent of her hand and the warmness of her skin. To make his heart feel what his eyes could not by seeing. “I’m not the only one that needs catching Zayn,” she said in a sad voice. “There’s Perrie who by the way is the kindest and loveliest girl I’ve ever meet, next to El and Dani. She’s perfect and I adore her. And she loves you very much.”

  
        “And you don’t?” He opened his eyes and stared back into her sad hazel ones.

  
        “I do,” she assured. “Harry also wanted to be catch.”

  
        “Harry?” He was surprised to hear that the boy was on the list.

  
        Kerra nodded. “He loves you too.”

  
        Zayn’s smile was full of incredulity. “Like a brother maybe.”

  
        “He loves you more than that,” she said. And for another First Time, Zayn couldn’t believe Kerra. “We all want to be catch Zayn. And you might get hurt in the process of catching us. I don’t want that. Perrie doesn’t want that. And Harry doesn’t want that either.” She sighed again. “We have to stop this before one of us gets broken and become unfixable. The worst part is to see you breaking Zayn. I don’t want you broken.”

  
        “I don’t care,” Zayn said seriously as he stared into Kerra’s hazel eyes. “Fix me. If I get broken. Fix me.”

  
        “It’ll leave scars,” Kerra pointed out sadly. “I don’t want to be one of your scars Zayn. I don’t want to be one of the reasons behind one of them, that every time I see them I’ll remember how much pain I’ve caused you. I can’t live with that.” She stared back into Zayn’s gorgeous brown eyes. “We can’t build a good relationship from pain and scars.”

  
        Deep inside Zayn wanted to tell Kerra that she would be the most beautiful scar he will ever have and he will be forever proud of.  And they could always rebuild from the ruins that have been left. But since Kerra doesn’t want any of that he will respect her choice. It was hard to accept it but he will try. For Kerra’s sake.

  
        “I guess you have made up your mind,” he said quietly, tearing his eyes away from Kerra’s.

  
        “This is for the best,” Kerra assured but Zayn wasn’t convinced. She closed the space between them and embraced the tan boy. “I’ll always love you,” she whispered and closed her eyes to capture this moment in her brain and tuck it safely in her memory box.

  
        Zayn tried to remember everything of Kerra. The way her hair smell, the way her body fit into his, the way she breathes, the way she speak, the way her skin feels under his touch, and the little things that makes up Kerra. He pulled away and connected their lips, still fighting the inevitable separation. To his surprise the girl kissed him back just as intense and needy as he was kissing her.

  
        Lips were suddenly not enough to feel each other and fill the upcoming void. Hands were used to help ease the need and want. But it still weren’t enough. Something has to be done and when clothes fell on the floor, they both knew what was missing.

  
        “Stay,” Zayn said, in the same pleading tone. They’re already in bed and naked. Zayn on top of Kerra and pinning her on the soft bed. His eyes searched Kerra’s hazel eyes again. Desperation was clear in his eyes and he doesn’t care if he looked vulnerable right now. He allowed himself to be weak if it was with Kerra, it was alright.

  
        Instead of answering, Kerra pulled Zayn’s head down to her and connected their lips in a passionate kiss. “I need you. Right now,” she said as her breathing uneven with lust and stared up into Zayn. The boy’s eyes were reflecting the want hers was screaming. “Please.”  
        And Zayn didn’t hesitate to make her wish come true.

  
                                                                                                         **

  
        “Zayn you have to move on,” Harry told the older boy. He was annoyed and sad at the same time for Zayn. “It has been 6 months. That is half a year of moping around. And I think that is already enough.”

  
        The tan boy didn’t say anything except pull the cover over his head so he couldn’t hear Harry anymore. That didn’t help at all because the duvet isn’t sound proof. Maybe he should invent one, he told himself. Harry was right though about moving on but Zayn just can’t. How can you move on and forget someone who left you so many things to be remembered of?

  
        Has it been six months since he had last seen Kerra in New York? It seemed longer than six whole months to him. To him, it was like forever had passed and the pain never fades away. The ache was the same, it didn’t lessen or worsen which was annoying.

  
Zayn was still with Perrie but the relationship was close to nothing since he was busy with the Take Me Home World Tour and the blonde girl was also doing some promotions for Little Mix. The girl group had hit the States too and it had been massively good. His relationship with Harry had been stronger but nothing further. He mostly talked to the younger boy because Zayn trust Harry and because the tan boy needed a rock to lean on now that Kerra was gone.

  
        But of course things were like they were before because Zayn and Harry haven’t clarified anything yet. Both afraid to name whatever they are or whatever they are not. It was a Zayn-Kerra relationship over again minus the sexual activities. And Zayn feared that what happened with him and Kerra would happen with him and Harry. His wounds were still fresh because they were never healed. Not even time had healed them but he was to be blame too because he even used time to open them over and over again till they bleed and hurt again. He was never a masochist but that’s what he is right now as his brain replayed what happened six months ago.

  
        _Sweating and panting, Kerra and Zayn lay next to each other on the bed. Small drops of blood were on the white sheet that reminds Kerra she was no longer a virgin. But she regretted nothing and she didn’t feel different as she feared._

  
_Zayn pulled her closer and her head was on his chest, her nose touching the crook of his neck. He was feeling her intake of breath on his skin and he loved it. He kissed the top of her head._

  
        _“I’m tired,” she said and her warm breath washing across his bare chest. She closed her eyes and nuzzled even closer to the tan boy._

  
        _“_ _Rest.” He tightened his grip on her, afraid she would leave as she had planned. He was tired as well and drifted into sleep thinking on what’s going to happen after this. And he wondered what their destination would be like with the road that they have chosen._

  
        _It was 5 in the morning when Kerra stirred above Zayn and the tan boy was fast asleep. She tried her very best not to wake him up and dressed herself. It wasn’t long of course for Zayn to feel the emptiness of the bed beside him and he knew something wasn’t right. His fear was confirmed when Kerra placed a kiss on his right temple. She was leaving even after all that happened with them. Even after she had given him the thing that matters to her most._

  
        _He didn’t move and went on with pretending to be asleep. Not that it was the easiest way to do since his heart was breaking quietly knowing he could be doing something to stop Kerra from leaving. He was a coward though, he was scared of facing rejection again. He was better at pretending. That’s what he’s going to do, pretend that there was nothing he could do to stop the girl from getting out of the door and out of his life. It was easier that way when he pretends it was something inevitable when the truth was it wasn’t._

  
        _“I love you so much Zayn,” Kerra whispered softly into Zayn’s ear that even the boy was wide awake, but pretending to be asleep, had almost missed it. “Take care.”_

  
        _Zayn heard the door close as Kerra leave the suite and him forever. On a ball position above the bed, Zayn’s tears silently flowed out of his eyes and his heart was aching so bad he was afraid it would be ripped off out of his body. He had never experienced pain like that before and he doesn’t want to experience it ever. But then it seems to cling and making its existence known because it continued to linger and the intensity only worsens. Now it wasn’t just his chest that was hurting but his all being was burning and the sad part was he’s never going to be a pile of ash. He will always be scorching on fire that would never be extinguished because he was to suffer._

  
        “Zayn,” Harry called again and Zayn wished nothing more but to be alone and be in flame like the burn man he is.

  
        “Leave me alone,” he told the curly lad and felt guilty for being so mean to Harry when the boy was just helping him. He doesn’t want Harry to suffer with him. He was going in hell and planning on staying there so an angel like Harry shouldn’t be there for the flames might burn the boy’s wings.

  
        Harry rolled his eyes at Zayn and wanted to smack the sense into the tan boy because he was tired of dealing of this drama right now. It was time for Zayn to move forward since there was nothing else to be done. That or succumb into melancholic and Harry choose the former. Kerra leaving hasn’t been a good idea at all. The girl promised him that it was for Zayn’s best but Harry’s starting to think so otherwise.

  
        When Kerra told Harry about her moving out of Zayn’s life so the tan boy doesn’t have a hard time choosing on what direction to take. Harry was happy that one competition was out of the picture but he didn’t know it would end up like this instead. Did Kerra do this on purpose then? Harry knew her well that she too didn’t have a clue that this would happen either. Nobody does know how other people would react since they’re not fortunetellers, and even those people get it wrong sometimes.

  
        Harry was patient enough to stick around with Zayn at the tan boy’s current position. The curly lad also developed a sense of masochism as he watch the boy he loves suffer for loving someone else, that officially wasn’t him. Harry couldn’t blame Kerra or Zayn because the two had a deep bond. So he decided to blame himself and now it’s not just masochism but sadistic masochism. And he’s starting to believe the tan girl had made the wrong decision and so did he for supporting her plan.

  
        _“Why do you want to leave?” Harry asked confusedly at Kerra. It was when Kerra showed up at the doorstep’s of his suite shared with Taylor._

  
        _“I can’t stomach him hurting Harry,” Kerra explained._

  
        _“So you’ll hurt him even more by leaving?” he asked perplexedly and sarcasm was present in his voice._

  
        _“It will only hurt him for a while,” she assured. “I would choose that than continue cutting his wrist over and over again. He can’t decide Harry. He was never good with decision making.”_

  
        _“And you do?” Harry asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow._

  
        _Kerra glared at him. “I’m not good with it either,” she said. “But I’m better at it than Zayn.” Harry was about to argue but she added, “Period.”_

  
        _Harry nodded reluctantly._

  
        _“As I was saying,” she began again. “He will get over me and move on with his life. He will have tons of distraction so that wouldn’t be so hard, don’t you think?”_

  
        _Harry didn’t know the answer to that. Maybe.Or maybe not.But definitely not the transparent ‘Yes’ or ‘No’._

  
        _“It’s harder with three people in this multiple choice Harry.” She ran her hand through her disheveled hair and Harry was reminded of Zayn. He frowned at how the two were so similar. “It would be easier to decide now that’s only between you and Perrie.”_

  
        _“What about you?” Harry asked worriedly._

  
        _She smiled weakly. “I’ll be fine,” she assured. “I will always be, knowing that Zayn will be. I can leave him in your hands right?”_

  
        _He wanted to laugh at Kerra for not trusting him with Zayn. Of course Harry would do anything to protect then tan boy and keep him safe. Even if it means hurting Zayn a little by conniving with Kerra. Not that the girl is doing this for her evil purpose. It was for all of them. It was for Zayn._

  
        _“Yes. You can,” Harry promised._

  
        _Kerra smiled. “I just hopes this will lessen Zayn’s pain. Yours.And Perrie.”_

  
        _“She’s fantastic right?”_

  
        _Kerra nodded. “She’s very charming.”_

  
        _“Zayn has taste,” he said proudly, knowing he was also complimenting himself. After all, Zayn was attracted to him too. And Harry was hoping for more than just an attraction from the tan boy._

  
        _Kerra rolled her eyes. “I don’t know if I could agree with that.” She chuckled but Harry saw her eyes did not echo the joy her laughter was screaming. She was sad._

  
        _“You sure about this love?” he asked, touching Kerra’s free hand._

  
        _Kerra nodded after sighing. “It is for Zayn’s best,” she assured. “He has to let go some of the baggage that he’s been carrying for a long time already. He needs to start over and so do I. It will never work out with us anyway.” She looked away from Harry’s stare. “They say you have to throw your old clothes so you will have room for the new ones.”_

  
_“But you’re not an old clothe.” Harry frowned._

  
        _“I know,” Kerra said. “But I’m over worn to be considered new.” She stared into the unknown, imaging a future with Zayn she’ll never have because she chose not to. If she did, it would hurt a lot of people, including Zayn. It was hard to be happy without hurting other people. “He deserves a new clothe that would sparkle till the end. And I couldn’t that. Someone like you or Perrie can.”_  
   
 


	24. Chapter Twemty-Four

          They were in Italy for the TMH tour. Zayn was basking himself in the sun because he hasn’t been so out lately. He was hanging somewhere with less people. Attention is the last thing he wanted in mind. The small town he got into was small and mostly populated by old folks that didn’t seem to know who he was. It was the perfect short escape he needed.

  
          And the last thing he had on mind was to bump into a teenager…

  
          “I’m so sorry,” he said and offered his hand to the poor girl who was now sitting down on the cold hard ground. She was on denim shorts and a black tee that was too big for her frame.

  
          The girl looked up to him and hazel eyes meet the same color. Zayn almost fell on the ground himself when Kerra stared at him with the same dumbfound look like he does.

  
          “Kerra.”

  
          “Zayn.”

  
          Disbelief colored their voices that reflected the incredulity on their faces. Meeting each other was second from the last on their list ─ just above the apocalypse ─ of scenarios that could happen to their mundane day activity. It was the first time they have seen each other since the MSG concert. Zayn didn’t bother to see Kerra when he returned back from New York but only because the girl apparently changed flat address. Zayn tried stalking her but she could not be traced like she didn’t exist at all. It was the worst part, him not knowing if she was fine.

  
          Kerra pulled herself up to her feet since Zayn had become a statue and forgot to help her. She couldn’t blame him though because she felt the same thing. It was like seeing a ghost on broad daylight. They just stood there, not saying anything or moving. A comfortable silence passed between them.

  
          Zayn was staring intently at the tan girl and noting the difference. Well, to begin with her hair was longer but still wavy. She looked even more tan than she was before and he thinks it was due to being too much under the sun. She was slimmer but still sexy like before. Nothing much had changed in her appearance except that her eyes lose their usual sparkle.

  
          Kerra didn’t have study Zayn so closely like he was doing on her. She had been updated with the boy’s every move or whatever she saw on Tumblr that is. She was never the social network freak but she has Tumblr and Twitter now to be updated with news regarding One Direction, Zayn especially. The pictures must have been edited because she didn’t see those dark circles under Zayn’s eyes on the photos online. He looked a little bit stressed out, she guessed must because of the tour’s pressure. But he looked stunning as always.

  
          What she didn’t expect was to see Zayn on this part of Italy. She knew the lads are on Italy but it was a huge country to simply bump into one of them out of the blue. It was just impossible. Or she thought it was.

  
          “How are you?” Zayn asked, his eyes not leaving hers.

  
          “Been fine,” she answered. “You?”

  
          He sighed deeply that got Kerra worried. “Broken.”

  
          Zayn sounded like one too and it also broke Kerra deep inside. She hoped it wasn’t for the same reason still. “Why? And since when?” She wasn’t able to stop herself from asking.

  
          “Since you left,” he answered and Kerra didn’t need to know the reason why because his statement answered everything she had asked for. It engulfed her in flames like it burned him.

  
        And right now she doesn’t know how to make it right. Or if she can still make it right for them.For him. “Me too,” she said.

  
        “Do you think it was a bad decision to leave?” he asked, sounding accusing.

  
        “I think it was because it broke and still breaks you,” she answered sadly. “It was selfish. I’m sorry.”

  
        “Are you now?”

  
        “Yes, I am.”

  
        “Why?” He raised an eyebrow. He was being cold at her now, remembering that she needs to know that it hurt him and still does. “Because I got hurt and now you pity me?”

  
        “I hope it’s as simple as that,” she said, aching that Zayn was being hostile to her. He has never been this blunt to her. “It’s more than just pity Zayn. I’m feeling your ache twice more because I know I caused them. I feel angry at myself and hurt for you at the same time. Two emotions that don’t go well together. Just like me and you.”

  
        “You said you won’t let go.”

  
        “It might have cut you in half.”

  
        “I have been sliced by you actually.”

  
        A dagger went straight into Kerra’s heart at the truth in Zayn’s words. She had damaged the person she wanted to protect the most. She broke Zayn.

  
        “And I can’t fix you,” she said as tears freely run down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I was stupid… I didn’t know what to do then. And I don’t know what to do even now… I can’t fix this that’s for sure. I can’t fix _us_. I can’t fix you. I can’t even fix me. I’m so sorry.” Her crying shook her whole body. “If I could, I would.”

  
        Zayn draped his arms around her to a tight embrace. “Maybe together we can,” he whispered as his senses register every strand of the girl in his arms. From the simple way her hair falls on her back, to the way she smells and the warmth of her skin. Everything he was trying to forget and remember at the same time before was now presented to him again.  
                                                                                                                           

               **

  
        Harry reads the article over and over again. It had been all over the internet and he couldn’t believe his eyes. The article is about Zayn and some mystery Italian brunette having coffee and talking. Photos of them hugging and touching were even present on the article.

  
        “What is this?” Harry asked the tan boy, shoving the laptop on the table that Zayn was occupying. They’re at Zayn’s hotel suite.

  
        Zayn stared at the monitor and saw the same article Harry did. He rolled his eyes and got back into reading some magazine he had picked out on a random bookstore.

  
        “Zayn,” Harry called, annoyed of being ignored.

  
        “What do you want Harry?” Zayn asked, closing the magazine to focus on Harry. He just want this over with, whatever the curly lad is frustrated about.

  
        “Explanation.” Harry crossed his arms on his chest, narrowing his eyes at Zayn.

  
        “Aren’t you satisfied with the article?” Zayn asked, raising an eyebrow.

  
        “I want to hear this from you,” Harry said still with the same expression as if he wanted Zayn to get naked so he could peel the truth from the tan boy. “Why are you with Kerra? And what is she doing in Italy? Why didn’t you _tell_ us?”

  
        Zayn sighed, exhausted from everything. “It was an accident,” he explained. “Sort of destiny thing I guess.” He twitched his lips shortly in a disbelief way. “She’s studying her now. Or she’s a foreign exchange for a semester. I didn’t tell _you_ because I don’t know how.”

  
        Harry can tell that the ‘you’ was only meant for him and not with the rest of the band. He doesn’t know if he should be happy or angry with Zayn being like this on him. “No more excuses,” he said, after choosing to feel the latter of the two emotions that was fighting inside his brain. “We have already told enough lies Zayn.”

  
        Zayn didn’t say anything but just stare at Harry with a frown.

  
        “I thought you’re going to change Zayn,” Harry said his tone was like of someone who was defeated. He does feel hopeless and defeated. “Kerra left to change the situation Zayn. She wanted change and safety for you. Herself. Perrie. And even for me.” He glanced at Zayn then looked down on his hands. He wasn’t the confessing type of guy. “We all need a new life Zayn. One with no more lies. But then… you still chose to live the present while dragging the past along.

  
        “The past needs to stay with yesterday Zayn.” He ran a hand through his hair and as he does this he thought of how Zayn-like he looks right now. “We can look back at them but we could never bring them along. And yet you do. You continue to tag your lies with you. When will you tell Perrie the truth that you cheated on her with Kerra and me?”

  
        The tan boy’s fist clinched and his lips were forming a hard line. Harry knew where to blow and he knew he was hitting Zayn’s nerves. Someone has to remind the tan boy of the reality that hurts since Harry thinks it was Kerra who does this kind of things before. But even the girl had failed to let Zayn see the rest of the sunlight.

  
        “Actually, Perrie doesn’t need to know,” Harry said sarcastically. “She doesn’t need to know that you and Kerra were having an affair behind her back. That we had sex when she wasn’t looking.” His eyes were filling with disappointment and anger he couldn’t explain. “Perrie doesn’t need to know that you don’t love her as much as you love Kerra.”

  
        “I love Perrie,” Zayn defended but his tone was too weak and broken because everything Harry had said was true. “I love you too.” He stared into those green eyes that looked broken as well. “I loved you three equally. It wasn’t just Kerra or Perrie. I fell in love with you too Harry.” He looked away, embarrassed by his own confession.

  
        Harry wasn’t sure if he should be jumping with joy or sadness because Zayn said he loved him. But there was a major problem… Zayn is also in love with two other people. He was as confused as the tan boy is. He doesn’t know what to do either. It wasn’t him who was feeling this mutual love for three different people anyway.

  
        “You have to choose fast Zayn,” Harry said. “You can’t keep us three. And I hope you’re not greedy to think you can because you’ll end up losing everything.”

  
        “How will I choose Harry?” Desperation was clear in Zayn’s voice.

  
        Harry smiled at him, small and sad. “You don’t have to Z.” He stared back into the tan boy’s chocolate eyes. “You just have to follow your heart.”

  
                                                                                                                                                        **

  
        Zayn wanted to wake up from this nightmare. _This is not happening_ , was his endless chant but he knows better that this isn’t just a dream. So far, this was the worse case scenario in his life. And it wasn’t only him who was hurting by the sudden turn out of events.

  
        He had not left his room since the news broke world wide. Perrie had called him a hundred times and the boys tried to talk to him but he refuse to see them. Kerra had not contacted him after the video came out and he was not surprise because she must be in the same state he is. He wanted comfort from someone who feels the same way he does.

  
        “Zayn?” Harry called from the outside of Zayn’s suite. “I know you’re awake.” He sighed. “I just want to say how sorry I am.”

  
        Zayn remained quiet unable to find his voice. He hasn’t used it for two days. He wanted to disappear like a bubble as if he never existed. Besides humiliation and disappointment, he felt hurt. He didn’t wish for things to end up this way. He knew somewhere in the future he was going to be able to tell the truth but not right now. Not when he was just starting over, getting on his feet after a tragic fall.

  
        “If you want to talk… the lads are here,” Harry said. “And I’m here too.” He sighed again. “I just want you to know…you’re not alone in this battle. We are here to support you. And… Well, uhm… So yeah… In case you want to talk. We’re right here yeah?”

  
        Zayn heard Harry’s footstep leaving his doorstep and he wanted to tell the younger lad that the boy shouldn’t be sorry at all because it was all Zayn’s fault. It was all his fault. Nobody should be blamed but him. Nobody should be suffering other than him.

  
                                                                                                                                                        **

  
        “So did you talk to him?” Louis asked worriedly.

  
        Harry shook his head. “He still wouldn’t come out.” He sighed. “But I did a speech outside his door.”

  
        “Did he say anything?” Niall asked.

  
        Harry shook his head.

  
        “Was he even awake?” Liam asked confusedly.

  
        “I don’t think he had sleep ever since the video came out,” Harry answered. And it was true. Zayn was not able to sleep, how can he when the weight of the world is on his shoulders?

  
        It was a video of Harry talking to Zayn about telling Perrie the truth. They all didn’t know who had recorded the bloody video but now the whole world was viewing it. And it was enough proof to kick the tan boy down into the abyss. There was no escaping it.

  
        “Management is fucking celebrating this,” Louis said, annoyed. “This is attracting too much attention than we want but the higher positions are adding the fuel to the fire.” He threw a pillow on the floor. They’re at Harry’s suite, sitting on the small living room.

  
        “How can you say that?” Niall asked, looking at Louis.

  
        “Well, were do you think did those crazy website got Kerra’s old pictures with us?” Louis asked, rhetorically. “It was from our personal files. They hacked into our personal computer.”

  
        “You still don’t know that Lou,” Liam scolded but even he wasn’t convinced that the Management didn’t do what Louis had accused them of doing.

  
        “Have you contacted Kerra?” Niall asked Harry.

  
        Harry shook his head. “Her parents made her come home,” he said sadly. “They didn’t take the news brightly. Especially her Dad. Not only that Zayn wasn’t his type of lad for his daughter but what he couldn’t really take was her having a secret affair with a boy who wasn’t available anymore. No father would want his daughter to be second best.”

  
        “I do see his point,” Liam agreed. “What about Perrie?”

  
        Harry frowned. “I don’t know.” He sighed again. “She must be really sad. And angry if I’m not wrong.”

  
        “She’s actually coming here this afternoon,” Niall said and everyone turned to him. “I heard it from Paul.”

  
        “Is she going to see Zayn?” Louis asked.

  
        “I don’t know.” Niall shrugged. “Maybe. Who knows.”

  
        A moment of silence passed them as they pondered for a solution. Since management was not as pissed off as they imagined them to be it had been crossed out of the list of Things-to-be-fixed. Perrie’s broken heart was not really a problem because time will heal it and she’ll get over it quickly. She’s a strong girl. The fans ─most of them ─ weren’t really thrilled of Zayn’s triple timing. But a lot has been cool with it especially the anti-Zerrie and the Zarry shippers.

  
        The biggest problem wasn’t all of that. It was Zayn. The boy refused to talk and leave his room. He continued to stay depress and everybody knew how pessimistic Zayn was. And they’re sure that the boy was masochistically reading negative articles on the web about his cheating issues. They don’t know how much of this all would affect Zayn. This time it isn’t just a rumor because it was the truth. The truth that Zayn himself knows.

  
        “What do we do?” Louis asked sadly.

  
        “I don’t know,” says Liam.

  
        Another moment of deafening silence.

  
        “We have to get Kerra,” Harry suggested as the lads all stared at him. “She knows what to do.”

  
        “What if she can’t?” Louis asked doubtfully. “Her plan of leaving didn’t quite work too, mind you.”

  
        “We’ll never know if we don’t try right?” Niall said, smiling at Harry and liking the idea of having an option to help Zayn rather than sit and brainstorm for ideas.

  
        Louis rolled his eyes. “Come on.”  
   
   
 


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five (The End Of The Night)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! This is it... This is the end.. This story will finally close. *crying* It has been amazing guys and I have to say a massive thank you for all the effort and time you wasted/shared (or whatever you call it with me). I hope to see you next time soon because I have a lot of things in mind and writing them is the hardest part. But I shall endure and go forth. Again massive thank you! I'll see you real soon. :) xoxo

          “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help Harry,” Kerra told the curly lad and squeezing his hand.

          “It wasn’t your fault,” Harry assured, squeezing the girl’s hand back. Both of their eyes were swollen from crying. “I think it’s better this way.” Tears rolled down his cheek and he sniffed.

          “How are the lads?” she asked, wiping a tear from her face.

          “I can’t really say that they’re fine,” Harry replied. “We will never be fine.”

          Kerra nodded. “Perrie?”

          “She’s hurt too,” Harry answered. “She’s blaming herself.”

          “We all do,” she added and the tears streamed down her face which she didn’t want at all. She had promised Zayn she wouldn’t cry anymore but it was a promise that is hard to keep.

          Harry pulled the short girl closer to him for a side hug, his arm on her shoulders. He couldn’t hold back his own tears as well. “And he doesn’t want that.”

          Kerra nodded weakly, not sure if she can answer using her voice without sobbing loudly. Harry held her in place and she wound her arms on the back of his hips to keep him close. She was never needy but now she felt like she needed a rock to support her.

          “Why did he do it?” Kerra asked. She can clearly remember the day the four boys showed in her doorstep to kidnap her ─she would be the first willing victim in the history of kidnapping. They told her that they needed her to talk to Zayn. To bring him back to life. She wasn’t sure she could do that but she was willing to try. For Zayn’s sake.

          She was not allowed to leave the house except for school that time. Her Dad was furious with the issue of her and Zayn. She begged her father and the lads helped her convince her Dad how crucial the situation was. Her father agreed, with a little convincing from her Mum, to let her go and see Zayn.

          It was the fastest and longest hours of her life. Fast because they were jumping from one plane to the next and long because the waiting time crawled slowly. When they all arrived back at Italy, Perrie was storming out of Zayn’s room.

          _“You!” the blonde girl screamed at Kerra, pointing her index finger at the tan girl. “I trusted you!” She looked like a wreck. She must have been super stressed out as if she hadn’t been sleeping. She was crying because her eyes were red but at the moment there were no more tears to shed because her eyes couldn’t produce one anymore. “You bloody bitch!” She slapped Kerra._

_“I’m sorry Perrie,” Kerra says softly, nursing her swollen cheek with a hand. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”_

_“It’s all useless now,” the girl said bitterly. She turned to Harry. “You’re a dick too,” she spat and stormed off, not even glancing back._

_“Are you okay?” Niall asked, pouting._

_“I’m fine,” Kerra replied and deep inside she knew she got what she deserved. It was even minor if you level what she had done to Perrie._

_“Let’s go see Zayn,” Liam prompted._

_The door of Zayn’s room was open and they all got in. They found the boy who looked phlegmatic, sitting on the floor with his back on the wall. Zayn’s eyes looked up to see his visitors. Everybody saw the distress in Zayn’s chocolate eyes and it broke their hearts._

_“Zayn?” Kerra called and Zayn’s gaze focused on the tan girl. At first he thought he was dreaming but when the girl reached out to touch his arms, he knew she was real because he was feeling the warmness of her skin against his._

_“Kerra,” he muttered and tears begun to sprout from his eyes. The girl pulled him close to her chest and drew circles on his back to soothe him._

_“Everything’s going to be fine yeah?” she said. She couldn’t help but cry too at the sight of the broken tan boy. “People throw rocks at things that shine, remember?”_

“He was hurting so much Kerra,” Harry said, pulling the tan girl from the past and back to the present. “And he thought he was hurting us too.”

          “Now we are,” Kerra said. “It was selfish.”

          “It was,” Harry agreed. “But I can’t blame him. He was thinking that his existence was the cause of all the heart aches. He was thinking it had burdened his family, his friends, the fans, and us. Zayn’s like that remember? It was all too much for him to handle when it wasn’t suppose to be something he should carry.” Harry sighed. “At least he’s not hurting now. And somehow… we’ll stop hurting too.”

          Kerra wanted to say a lot more but she was satisfied that Zayn was no longer hurting. She and Harry never wanted anything more than for the tan boy to finally be free of pain. And now, Zayn is. He shall continue to rest in peace after putting a bullet in his head.

         

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah.. I'm not good with endings but... I hope you like it as much as I did. Take care! :) xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> A massive thank you for reading!  
> Hope I did not disappoint your expectation as a reader and as a Directioner.  
> xoxo


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